The Game of Love

So we all know the age-old battle of the sexes rages on indefinitely, but when do individuals decide to stop playing "the game" of love? It seems like there is this constant power struggle between men and women where one person has to act like they are not interested in the other and dance this never-ending tango to prove they are the less bothered party within the pair.

Can a woman who is genuinely interested in a man and not engaging in this game "win" at love if she is unwilling to play? My conclusion is emphatically NO. I have found that when two people appear to be genuinely interested AND compatible, the only way for it to build into a significant relationship is if the woman doesn't show her true level of interest. She must appear generally unavailable with her time, amount of interaction, and her body. However, the eligible man that is sought after by many women and has options will not hold his interest for long if the woman is "too" available.

It is typically understood that it is the "chase" that drives men and once that chase is over, so is the interest and effort. Why, though, is the chase necessary if the interest from the woman is present and reciprocated? No games on her end whatsoever. Well, in that instance, if the woman doesn't play into the chase, the man loses interest and sometimes even does the selfish and often confusing act of ghosting, leaving the woman with many unresolved questions.

If all things are in alignment, such as attraction, sexual chemistry, common interests, shared values and morals, similar life goals, etc, it would seem a good recipe for a developing relationship. You have to then take into consideration the intent on each end. If the man has the sole intent to chase and conquest the woman, while she unknowingly has the honest intent to get to know the man and see how he fits into her life, well she has already lost.

It is said that you have to make a man fall in love with your mind before your body, but why so if the sexual feelings are mutual? Two adults should be able to engage sexually and it not ruin the prospect of a meaningful relationship. It seems women MUST play the game of prolonging sex for as long as possible to get the man's true intentions, but it's also not that natural to do that if the sexual chemistry is there. If she chooses not to play "keep away" with her lady parts, she most assuredly will lose the game and face the potential of having her feelings hurt and even worse, her heart-broken if she was all in.

For me, it is the most frustrating thing to not be able to be myself and pretend like I'm not available or not into sex if I am feeling available and feeling sexually attracted to someone I genuinely like and see a potential future with. At what point is this juvenile game really over? We may never truly know..