She had the look where she was thinking super hard to give me an answer and she said, “Well, it was one kiss.” My sister asked how I felt about her and of course, I replied by stating that I truly like her. Who wouldn’t like the prettiest girl in school? She concurred with a nod, but let me know to ask her how she feels about me before committing to asking her as a steady girlfriend. I guess I could agree with that, seeing that I was talking to an “expert”.
I held back in calling Jackie over the weekend because I wanted to make sure I was going to say the right thing and I had to get enough courage to bring it up since this was all new to me, so when I got to school that Monday, I did my usual thing of waiting for her at my locker. As I was getting the books that I needed for my class, I noticed that Jackie was walking into the building, and of course, she had her entourage of friends with her. She returned my smile when I grinned at her. Jackie stopped at my locker and I told her that the dance was undoubtedly the best time of my life. She said that she had a good time as well. A while went by with us talking and we had to go to our classes as the bell rang. Not much happened that day or even till the start of Winter break other than Jackie was to go visit her grandparents in Utah so I wouldn’t be able to see or talk with her until she got back.
The time couldn’t go fast enough for Winter break to be over with so that I could see Jackie again. When I knew she was back in town I called her house, but I couldn’t get anyone to answer. I didn’t think much of it so I just waited until Monday to talk with her again. Monday cam and at school I waited at my locker for Jackie to come in and we would be able to talk. As I was getting my books out for my class, I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned around excitedly to greet Jackie, but it wasn’t her, it was one of her friends. Before I could say anything she immediately said, “don’t be mad”. I was a bit perplexed by that comment as I didn’t know what she meant by that. I said, “what does that mean, don’t be mad?” Before she could explain anything, I looked up and she was arm and arm with another guy. I didn’t know what to think. I was completely speechless. They were laughing with each other and his hands were all over her. What the heck is going on? I looked at her friend and she had this panicked look on her face as if I were going to explode or something. I walked over to where Jackie was and asked what was going on? All Jackie could say is “what?” The guy she was with just kind of had a cheesy grin on his face and shrugged me off. I walked away from the table completely shattered as I thought she liked me. Her friend kind of tried to console me which is sort of a surprise because whenever I was around Jackie when she was there, she just rolled her eyes as if she disapproved of us being together, but she was actually trying to be compassionate, so I knew something was not right. When I got to my locker, I again felt a tap on my shoulder, it was Jackie’s friend. She had a letter from Jackie that she gave me. It was pretty bulky so I knew it couldn’t be good. I couldn’t get myself to read it so I just put it in my pocket. I was totally lethargic the rest of the day at school and after the last bell rang, I got out of there quickly. I didn’t want to see anyone.
After I got home, I ran to my bedroom and slammed the door shut which got the attention of my parents. My mom came to the door, knocked, and asked if everything was alright. I told her that I was sorry that I slammed the door, that it was a mistake (even though it wasn’t), and that I was alright. I just sat on my bed completely disheveled by the fact that I think I was ‘dumped’. I don’t know if that is what happened since I have never known or felt that before, but I think that’s what happened. As I was sitting on the edge of my bed, I remembered that I had that letter in my back pocket. I went and retrieved it, opened it up, and it read, “Hey bud I gotta talk to you pretty bad”. Oh boy, this is not going to go well, I can already tell. Now I am not going to write out the whole letter since it’s so long but it basically stated that she still wanted to be friends even though she was seeing another guy. I mean, it was one kiss that we shared, I understand that, but to me, it seems as if she was leading me on only to destroy me. I don’t know, maybe I’m looking more into this than what’s already there. I did later find out that, apparently, Jackie had only stayed with her grandparents in Utah for a few days, came back, and was in town the rest of the time before school was to start up again. During that time, this other guy must have asked her out and I guess they were boyfriend and girlfriend.
I am going to cut this story short and to the end by saying that we never really talked to each other unless I had to all the way to the end of Senior year and I have not seen her since. Thinking back at my school years that we WERE friends I think I might have acted childish and should have sucked it up and remained friends with her after she broke it off with me. What do you think?