The End is Near(er)

“And now the end is near, and I face the final curtain…”

So, the Frank Sinatra song goes. But when My Way came out in 1975, I was only 19 years old and it was just a song. Now, 46 years later I understand exactly what this song meant.

It’s still hard for me to believe I’ve already lived most of my life and now “the end is near,” at least nearer than before anyway. I find myself asking how the hell did this happen?! I don’t feel older, I certainly don’t act older.

But am I happy? Have I accomplished everything I've wanted to accomplish? I guess that’s why people have a bucket list. Does it mean we just give up and accept that we’re getting close to death?

But what exactly is a bucket list if not an acknowledgement of the approaching end of life? Well for some, I guess it does. But for other, like me, it simply means having more adventures while I’m still physically able to do them.

According to the Journal of Palliative Medicine, the number one item on someone’s bucket list is a desire to travel, within the nation or internationally, with over three-quarters of respondents listing this as their top goal.

So, in that sense, I’ve accomplished what most people want to do. I’ve lived in Japan, Canada and Australia and visited other countries. In fact, I’ve done quite a lot in my life.

In addition to traveling, I’ve learned how to use a katana (samurai sword), I’ve sung on the stage of the Met Opera in New York City (in rehearsal only), I’ve learned how to shoot a musket. My life has been very interesting, so far.

So, although I haven’t done everything I want to do, I’m not doing too badly.

My bucket list is simple - I’ve already checked-off a few boxes. Admittedly, some things on my list are unrealistic unless a miracle happens. I don't discount that possibility.

I have been on the Cyclone at Coney Island, thanks to two of my friends. I nearly died of fright, but I did it. The turns were sharp enough to throw a person against the side of the car they were sitting in. It was scary, but I might even do it again now that I know what to expect.

I’ve walked up the Tor in Glastonbury, England. I’ve wanted to do it since I was a little kid and I really don’t know why. It’s just something that I’ve yearned to do since I first saw the St. Michael’s tower on the top. The tower fascinated me, as did the legend of St. Joseph of Arimathea associated with Glastonbury. So, when my husband and I took a vacation to England years ago, he stayed on the main street and visited the bookstores while I walked up the Tor. If I ever get back there, the goal is to walk up the hill and be by the tower at daybreak.

So, what’s left? Well, I want to see the Great Wall in China. The only problem with that is I want to see it when there aren’t any crowds, which means I’ll probably never see it. It’s one of the places everyone wants to go when they visit China and there is always a crowd there.

There is one opera singer that I would give everything I own to meet (again). While I won’t name names, some of you will know who I mean. When I first met him, I fell in love and I’m not ashamed to admit I’m still hopelessly in love with him. The number one item on my bucket list is to sit down in person with him and have an intimate conversation, just like we used to do when I worked at Met Opera. That's just one more thing that probably won’t happen because neither us is getting any younger. But I can hope and dream. There’s always that.

I hope I will accomplish the rest of my bucket list, but even if I don’t, I’m content with what I’ve done.

Getting older doesn’t mean giving up and falling into despair. After all, growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional!