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The Do's and Don'ts of Online Dating

Including a Personal Story!

By Kathryn C. Published 6 years ago 5 min read
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Most people want to have a meaningful relationship with someone, however, "dating" can be a miserable task. First of all, you have to meet someone, then you have to muster up the courage to ask that someone out on a date. If the answer is affirmative, then you get a second helping of worries to deal with as you work to impress this person you want to get to know. If the answer is negative, you will eventually try it all over again with someone else, but you will never quite recover from the crippling pain of rejection.

Meeting people online became a way to ease some of those awful dating tensions. Many once considered online dating as something only "losers who can't get a real boyfriend/girlfriend" would do. Today, there are hundreds online dating sites such as E-Harmony, Match.com, and Tinder which connect people and bring about happy relationships. However, before you click onto one of these sites, I have a few "Do's" and "Don'ts" you might want to consider:

"Don'ts"

  1. I hate to say it, but some people consider dating websites to be cyber brothels. Before you meet someone in person, make sure you communicate your intentions clearly.
  2. Always meet a stranger in a public place, and have an escape route. If things start feeling uncomfortable, have a way to leave the situation. Come in your own transportation for the first few dates until you feel it's safe to let them know where you live and pick you up for future dates.
  3. Long distance relationships can work, but they need to be handled with caution. Talking to someone every minute of everyday can become harmful to you emotionally. Try to meet as soon as you can, and really get to know the person before any commitments are made.

I am a very cautious person, but I also have a fun side. Here are three "Do's" for enjoying your online dating experience:

  1. The webcam is your friend! Chat face to face on your computer or on your smartphone. It makes you feel connected and gives you confidence in who you are talking to.
  2. The internet is a great place for things to do when you can't meet up in person. Play games together, share media files of your favorite songs or even watch a movie together. The possibilities are almost endless!
  3. One great thing is that since you met online, you got all of the awkward "get to know you" questions out of the way! Delve into deeper topics once you meet in person, and get to know each other's values a little better.

I know that if you follow these tips, "Online dating" will be a little bit easier for you. Now, before I close I have one more "Don't" for you and it comes in story form:

When I was in high school the Internet was not nearly as cool as it is now. Back then, there was no such thing as Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. We did, however, have Myspace (good times) and the most popular way to get in contact with someone was via MSN or Yahoo chatrooms. At 17, I was a goody-two-shoes nerd who rarely used the computer, so I had absolutely no intention of talking to strangers on the internet. Well, one day my best friend at the time introduced me to RPG (role playing game) sites. Each site has a theme, and it works as a forum. You write posts and other "role players" respond to your writing. Our RPG was Harry Potter-themed, and it was so much fun. Every day the other RP'ers and I wrote detailed dramas with each other just pretending to be "students at Hogwarts." It was all very innocent, and a very "nerdy teenager" thing to do.

I met John (names have been changed) while writing in this Harry Potter RPG. He and my character met and started interacting, and then they "fell in love." We had such a good time writing together that eventually we wanted to meet the "real person" behind the screen. Eventually, we set a time and gave each other our "MSN Messenger" information. I was SO nervous. I had heard that nasty old men hunted for young girls on the internet, and I was just certain that John was going to be one of those guys. When the time came I sat in front of my laptop with bated breath, my heart racing, and my stomach flipping as our webcams slowly loaded our images. To my great surprise/relief on the screen was a cute boy with unruly black hair, golden eyes, and a breathtaking smile. He was everything a teenage girl wants from her first love. Handsome, funny, troubled, and rebellious. I talked to him every day for nine months. He taught me to love alternative rock music and introduced me to good books. He also taught me how to touch my body in ways I had never before dared, and helped me reach my first orgasm just with his words. Looking back, I understand that we were just teenagers with no idea what kind of damage we were inflicting upon each other. Months were spent being so hopelessly intoxicated with this boy, that I couldn't see he was influencing my values, my personality, and my connection with the outside world. When we broke up it took me at least three years to stop talking to him and to just get on with my life again.

If you want to take the plunge into the world of online dating, keep in mind that it is not a venue for someone who doesn't really know who they are. Dating someone online, or off, should never lead to a negative change in yourself, and it should never become an addiction.

I want all of you to be successful in your dating ventures. Yes, there will be heartbreak along the way, but there is someone out there for everyone. You can be happy! Just be yourself and love yourself. If you do, someday someone will walk into your life who will adore you completely.

That's all for now. I truly appreciate you reading this article! If you want more posts on things no one wants to talk about please donate a few dollars to my cause! You can also read more on my website and chat with me there pretty much anytime. If you really like me, you can follow me on Twitter for more! Until next time!

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About the Creator

Kathryn C.

Blossoming Sex Educator, Relationship Coach, and Family Advocate. I believe in healthy relationships and happy sex-lives.

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