Dating is weird, especially right now when everything is all about quick hookups. If you're someone like me and you're not looking for that, it can cause some issues.
I decided last month to put my foot down. Enough is enough. I'm only human, after all. I want to be happy, I want to be loved, and I want to share these feelings with someone else.
So I got to work. I got out my phone, downloaded some dating apps, and made up some profiles.
A couple of things I learned about online dating:
Some of your friends are going to be downers.
Some people see online dating as a lesser way to date. Like somehow it's embarrassing to meet someone online. Well, this is your life don't let them bring you down. It's no one's business how you meet people other than your own.
I work independently; I'm a freelance writer. So my job isn't always the most social in-person, and I don't like to date my friends. Long story short, I don't meet a whole lot of new people all the time, so online dating helps with that.
Nothing says you have to tell someone how you met a significant other if one of your matches works out. Just lie or bend the truth a bit if it bothers you or someone else is bothering you about it.
Put aside those insecurities and save them for a later day.
It doesn't matter what any of these people think of you at the end of the week because they're just another swipe left or right when it all comes down to it.
When I first started out, I looked at all those selfies and thought: this boy is out of my league. And, that was a problem, because it stopped me from even liking someone who I might have a genuine connection with.
Be a little shameless because you probably won't meet half of these people anyway. Even if you do go out and he's not impressed. Well, that's his loss because you're probably a genuinely nice person, and they're probably just a jerk.
Meet people in person.
This is pretty critical because you just won't get very far if you don't meet people in real life. I get it, meeting in person that you met online can be intimidating because you just won't have any idea what's actually going to happen until it does. You have to push through those apprehensions because wasting people's time and your own time isn't cool.
Worst case scenario, you and your date both go home with an interesting story at the end of it.
Get your timing right.
Obviously, you don't want to bother putting two weeks into getting to know someone when you're not really looking for anything. It's a waste of your time and the person you're meeting.
Also, when you've been talking with someone, and you think you're hitting it off don't postpone that first date for too long. It makes you look disinterested, and when it comes to flipping through the internet, there is a chance that someone else will beat you to it.
Try not to get too attached right off the bat.
Even if you like someone and they seem to like you, try not to get overly attached. No one wants someone who is excessively dependent on others or just plain clingy. Have fun with it. Don't take it too seriously, because this night could be a one-off or the start of a relationship. And, if things end up being one-sided, it takes some of the sting out of rejection.
So, remember to keep things light, and try to have fun with it.
You got this,