The Body 'Count

“’Drea, come on, your Uber just pulled up!”

Andrea checked herself one last time in the ornate full-length mirror – looking good from the front…she turned to check out the rear view of her fit physique. Yep, looking good coming and going.

“Okay, okay I’m coming!” She raced down the stairs where her sister was holding a foil-wrapped breakfast sandwich and coffee in a to-go cup.

“Ooooh, Tee, thank you!” Andrea planted a kiss on her sister’s cheek. “Say a prayer for me!”

“Just don’t be late on your first day, okay? Now get out of here!”

As Andrea hopped in the Uber, she greeted her driver and started her mental checklist for the day: in-processing, meeting with the Chief of Staff, and then she’d get to work. She closed her eyes and started to pray over her day; that everything would go smoothly, that she’d find favor with her superiors, that she’d meet a nice guy who would take care of her for the rest of her life….

“Ay, Miss we’re here.”

“Wow, that was fast – thanks! Tip’s on the card.”

“Cool.”

As Andrea opened the door, the driver said, “Hey, I saw you back there praying. I hope you get whatever it is you was askin’ the man upstairs to give you.”

Andrea smiled, catching his eye in the rear-view mirror. “From your mouth to God’s ear.”

As she approached the Medical Examiner’s office building, Andrea paused, her heart filled with a mix of emotions. Her whole life’s events, every obstacle, every blessing had prepared her for this moment. She opened the door and went in.

Her emotions only intensified the closer she got to the office. Get through security, stop at the restroom, up the elevator. “Okay God, here we go”, she said under her breath as she approached the front desk.

“Hello, I’m Andrea Jabot - the new Senior Pathologist. I have a 9:30 with Mr. Jepson.”

“Welcome Ms. Jabot. I’m Talia, the office manager. Mr. Jepson is expecting you. Coffee?”

“No thanks – I’m already coffee’d up for the day.”

As Talia laughed, Andrea thought, “Thank You Lord. So far, this seems like a great place.”

“You can come this way, Ms. Jabot.”

After filling out the requisite forms, meeting with Mr. Jepson and smiling her way through the staff introduction and tour, Andrea was feeling more and more like getting out of her business suit and into her scrubs. Besides that, her feet were killing her.

“Talia, will you walk me down to Pathology?”

“Of course. I’m just going to grab my flats.”

“I wish I had thought to bring mine. Feels like I’m walking on hot knives!”

As they stepped off of the elevator, Talia said, “Well, here we are. This is where you’ll pick up your case folders, you’ll be performing the autopsies in that area of course – and that area over there is where you can talk with family members and prepare them before they have to identify a body. And this…” she said, gesturing toward an expansive, beautifully furnished contemporary space, “is your office.”

Andrea’s jaw dropped. “Wow.”

“I know, right! Why don’t you come on in and take a look around. I took the liberty of pulling a set of scrubs for you while you were on the tour – and you’ll be pleased to know that we keep new Crocs in various sizes for the pathology staff to take when needed. I pulled you a size 8…you know, to get you off of the ‘hot knives’”.

“Oh, you got jokes!”

Talia laughed. “I have my moments. Well, I guess I’ll leave you to it. This guy here is your first one – a real high-profile case. He was already rich, but he recently won a million dollars in the lottery. Three weeks later, he was dead.”

“Any known beneficiaries?”

“I haven’t heard anything…but it’s almost a moot point.”

“Oh?”

“Yep. They can’t find the money! The check has been cashed, but they can’t find the dinero anywhere-o. Not donated, not in his bank account, not in the house – and believe me, they looked. No large expenditures…it’s like it just vanished into thin air!”

“Strange. Well, I’d better get started. I’ll call you if I need anything.”

Andrea took a deep breath and pulled back the sheet covering the body. He was strikingly handsome, fit and young. And he looked vaguely familiar, but she didn’t know why. She grabbed his chart and flipped it open. 32? He’s the same age as me. “Shoot, if you were alive, you’d be an answer to my prayers! Come on, boo. Let me in on your secret. Who did this to you? The Bible says, ‘money answers all things’…I wonder who’s trying to get their answers with your money.”

Andrea began her autopsy, speaking into a pocket recorder. “Black male, 6 feet two inches, 220 pounds. 32 years old, no birthmarks or tattoos. Fairly recent stitches below the left armpit, in a vertical incision approximately 3 inches in length.” She palpated the area around the stitches and felt something. As she adjusted her light to see the area more clearly, she could see a raised rectangular shape just under the skin. She cut through the stitches and teased the incision open. “Is this plastic?” Murmuring to herself, she continued to probe the opening to pull out the object. “Got it!” She pulled out a small black object vacuum-sealed inside of a plastic sleeve. She cut the plastic and pulled out a small, very thin black book. About 3 inches tall and 2 inches wide, it had very few pages.

“Hmm…this is getting more and more intriguing. What is going on here?”

She set the small book aside, and continued on with the autopsy, making the Y incision, using her rib shears to cut the ribcage, weighing the organs, taking tissue samples. Andrea looked at the clock, surprised at how much time had passed.

“Well, time to go. I guess we’ll continue our date tomorrow. But before I leave, let’s see what’s inside this book.”

Andrea removed her gloves and ran her thumb over the black moleskin cover. She opened the book and saw a list of numbers. Each number had an exotic locale written next to it: Mauritius, Cayman Islands, Dublin, Singapore, Switzerland.

“A girl in every port, huh? Are these phone numbers? Our good friends at the police department may know the meaning of all this. In the meantime, let’s secure the little black book.”

She placed the book in a plastic evidence bag and locked it up. She gathered her things, turned off the lights and as she approached the door, she saw a figure in the shadows, coming closer. Her heart began to pound.

“Hello….hello? Who’s there?” The figure continued to come closer. Thoughts raced through Andrea’s mind. “Oh, God not like this…on my first day! Where is the light switch?”

“Mr. Jepson? Oh my God, you scared me half to death. Would you mind flipping the lights on? I was just on my way out…did you need something?”

“No, I just thought I’d check in to see how your first day went. Security told me you hadn’t left yet.”

“Yes, well – I’m making my way out the door now. Everything went very well – and Talia is awesome. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“All right then.” He glanced at his watch. “I’ll let you get on out of here. See you in the morning.”

“Yes, Sir.”

As Andrea rode home, she couldn’t stop thinking about the book… “Why was the book sewn into this guy? Would he do that to himself? What are those numbers…the foreign countries? Hmm…he must have been an in-ter-na-tional lover…let me take you ‘round the wor-or-or-orld…”

“Huh?”

Jolted out of her musing, Andrea replied, “I’m sorry, what?”

“Uhhh, were you talking to me or to yourself?” Laughing, the driver continued, “You were back there talking about an international lover…I wasn’t sure where you were going with that.”

“Oh, I’m sorry – didn’t realize I was talking out loud. I was, um, talking to myself.”

“No worries; I love that song - Prince was my dude.”

“Yeah, mine too.”

The driver pulled up in front of Andrea’s house and before she got out of the car, Tanya was running down the driveway. “’Drea, you have to see this. Hurry up and come inside!”

Andrea scrambled out of the car and ran into the house. “What’s going on?”

“When I got the mail today, this envelope was in the mailbox. No postage or return address. Creepy, right? It’s addressed to you, so I didn’t open it…I’m about to ask you to open it outside in case it’s anthrax…ricin…or a bomb or something.”

Andrea rolled her eyes and picked up the envelope, looking for any indication of where it had come from. “You do know you are doing the absolute most right now, right?”

“What? You know people are crazy. And you just started your new job as Senior Pathologist today – this can’t be a coincidence. Yes. Yes, you definitely need to open this outside.”

“Girl, bye. Let me go out on the patio and open it.”

As Andrea stepped out onto the patio, she felt a mix of fear and excitement…and then irritation once she saw Tanya peeking out from the house. “Oh, okay, so you are just going to watch me blow up from the glass door? You are tap-dancing on my last nerve.”

Andrea’s hands trembled slightly as she opened the envelope, holding it away from her face. She turned it upside down and shook it – no powder, thank You Jesus! She reached inside and pulled out the letter. She began to read it aloud:

“Dear Andrea,

You probably don’t remember me, but we attended college together. I’ve followed your career closely – congratulations on being selected for the Senior Pathologist position!

In college, we ran in totally different circles, but I know you because I also worked as a custodian at the school to pay my tuition. I cleaned the lab. You were always kind to me. I remember one day, I was cleaning and I said that I would be lucky just to graduate – I could never be a doctor. You said that you could tell I was smart and that I could be whatever I wanted to be...I just had to put in the work. I never said anything, but that changed the way I saw myself. It turned my life around. If you ask any of the people in my organization, they’ll tell you confidence was one of my greatest traits.

I took what I learned from working there and made it big in the cleaning industry. On top of that, I won a million dollars in the lottery. When I thought about who I wanted to bless with this most recent windfall, you came to mind. I’d like to gift you $20,000 for your kindness. You spoke life into me when I didn’t have a dollar to my name. Once you make it big, it’s hard to tell why people want to be a part of your life – so I never married. The rest of the money will go to charities.

I would have loved to thank you in person, but unfortunately, if you are reading this, it’s because I left explicit instructions for this letter to be delivered to you upon my death. I have the money in several offshore accounts to protect it from family vultures. The account numbers will be found in a small black book during my autopsy. My accountant has received instructions and will know what to do with the account information once he receives it.

May God continue to bless your endeavors and answer your prayers with 'Yes'.

Sincerely, Tony Armstrong”

Andrea clutched the letter to her chest and smiled as she walked toward the house. Tanya opened the sliding glass door to let her in.

“Tee! Good news – it wasn’t a bomb!”