The Black and White Issue
My rant about the social media interracial relationship memes
Social media is getting out of control with these black and white relationship celebration memes. I get it. Love who you love, but don’t look down on those of us who prefer to love our own. Representation matters, but some of these memes are ridiculous and give off the wrong impression of what you feel about your own kind. It does not make me racist when I say that I will not let anything but a black man inside of me, just like it doesn’t make you any less racist when you prefer a race other than your own. You can like the person and still not like the race, babes. Frankly, I’m tired of seeing it, so I have some things I need to get off my chest.
Do not get me wrong. I am all about people loving who they love. It’s the same way I feel about the people of the LGBTQ community. Just because I don’t live that way, it is not my place to tell you how to live. This is your life. Do you. But if someone from that community came to me and said that I had to live that way or I was homophobic or somehow less than because of my preference, I guess that would just make me homophobic and less than. It’s ridiculous. I am not racist and no race is the superior race just because my preference is the black man.
Some of these crazy memes are even saying the word every or all, and I have a real problem with anything that lumps me into a group that I don’t belong to. You do you, but don’t bring me into it with your all inclusive language. I don’t fit into a box. Don’t try to put me in the same one that you’re in. It was these memes that brought me to writing this today. That was my final straw.
Nobody cares about your relationship just because it’s an interracial relationship. We care when you start talking down on your own as though you didn’t come from the very thing that you are criticising. This only shows that you don’t love yourself because you are the very thing that you are talking crap about. No matter how fancy you try to dress it up, you are who you are and you come from where and who you come from. I take issue with people dating outside their race just because it is outside their race. If you are around that person and that’s who you fell for, that’s one thing, but phrases like, “I gotta get me a white/black girl” or “I gotta get me a white/black boy,” are problematic for me. Love who you love because you love the person, not their race.
Then there are those who date outside their race as an experiment or to make someone in their family mad. They are intrigued, but they would never take this relationship seriously or someone in their family would be pissed if they brought this person home, so they decide to piss them off for the drama of it all. I dated other races because I was intrigued in school. We’re too grown for this now. We’re supposed to be focusing on finding the person to spend our lives with. Anything else is a complete waste of time, but yet there are still some out here doing this. Trust me. I’ve seen it with “friends”.
I choose to love my own because only the black man can understand my struggle. I don’t need to come home from a hard day and tell my partner that a Karen was being a Karen and have my partner try to explain to me how it wasn’t how I see it. I don’t need to be in a partnership with someone who I would have to explain why we do the things in my culture that we do. I don’t need to be hoping that nobody in my family does anything that I would then have to explain to my white partner is just some black people but not all black people, and you know, every family has those people that you have to explain. I don’t need that extra drama. All I want to do is lay up and cuddle with my partner, and they understand exactly why I need that cuddle.
I choose to love my own because the black man is beautiful in all shades. They are capable. They are hardworking. They are viril. They see the world through the same lens that I do. We have similar stories and upbringings. I can relate to them in a way that I can’t relate to any others. They are my dad, my brothers, and my son, and I love them. So why would I look for any other being as my life partner.
My preference is the black man and the black man only because I believe in black love. I believe it is beautiful and needs to be represented as much as any other form. I think about the black woman who was raped by the white man to make more slaves in our history, and I can’t voluntarily give myself to a white man knowing the betrayal that would be to my ancestors. I can’t be in a relationship with someone who I will always have to wonder how they really feel about my black brothers and sisters, and trust me, I will always wonder about a white person no matter how nonracist they seem. Like I said before, you can love the person and hate the race. I’m too pro black for any of that. And before you start, I’m pro black, not anti anything. I love the white people who love me, but I refuse to be in love with them. That’s the difference.
People need to get their lives together. It is not a flex that you are in a relationship with someone other than your own race. Are you loved? Are you happy? Can you build with that person? Can you make a beautiful life with this person? Or are they going to be more of a headache than a blessing? These are the things that matter. So love who you love, but do it for the right reasons, and don’t speak on your own race with anything but love and appreciation for where you came from.
I don't get mad at who someone loves especially if I'm not interested in that person myself. Why would I care? I'm all about love and light in all of it's forms. Love is valid when it's true. Live your life. Be happy. Do you. I love a love story, and I will cheer you and your someone on until the very end. But remember that this shoe goes on both feet. I am allowed to prefer what I prefer just like you are, and I don't need to be bombarded by memes that insult me. Sorry if this one means that you aren’t rocking with me anymore, but not sorry.
Your heart, your tips, and your subscription are appreciated. It’s expensive being this opinionated :).
About the Creator
Nailah Robinson
Author, Mother, Wife, Sister, Daughter, Cousin, Daughter In Law, Sister In Law, Friend, Grand Daughter, Niece, Teacher, and Student. I am so many things to so many people, but in the end, I'm just Nailah.
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