The Beauty of Falling in Love

Would you believe me if I said that I’m falling in love? Call me a romantic, but falling for love is surely one of the best ways to be. It’s a sort of calling that pulls me closer to the source. Rumble to stumble, I approach the warm gooey core that I call home. Where the snow falls only light, and the sun is never too bright. It’s a place where smiles are always returned. Where a simple touch can speak its own set of words. This land of the cliques and lip-biting pleasures follow a marble path capable of walking itself.

I think people fail to see the beauty of this in-between. I know that I surely do. That this entrancement itself is something to strive for, not just the result. I know you will be skeptical. You may think that I am afraid of the end so I instead justify the middle. And to an extent you are correct. I am afraid of what happens after I am done falling. Of actually making a decision and seeing past the glow of her skin. Maybe it’ll still shine bright, or much how one smothers a small flame, the firepit may just become a burnt-out hole.

I have a dream to share with you. It’s been a few weeks, so the beginning is lost. There was some conflict, and then I’m sure a resolution. I think I was protecting a few cows for some reason…¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Anyways, at the very end of my dream, I sat in a field of grass. I had something like a cloth over my eyes. Covering my view, all I could do was sit and feel. Suddenly, someone came from behind me and pressed their body up against my back. Wrapping her arms around my torso, the warmth of her clothes radiated into mine. Enwrapped in this feeling, I couldn’t help myself from smiling. It just felt so amazing. Like pure love had found me and called me their own. I could have cried, maybe I did, I wouldn’t remember.

Sitting there with no clue of who this lover was, a growing ich to turn around began to take me over. All I wanted to do was to kiss this person. To have our lips touch and transcend from two bodies to one. This ich grew, the love was getting stronger. My back, once riddled in knots I hadn’t noticed before, was loosening with every breath. Shifting from a sharp unfeeling spine, it softened and lit up as the moments passed by. This love was so great that after what felt like a lifetime I turned around to face my beautiful other. Finally reaching for her, something changed. It felt as if whatever we had, whatever that moment was, vanished as soon as I broke the trance. Shifting the limbo into finalized action woke me.

There’s something beautiful about the prance of love. The ritual of flirting. The spontaneous acts of showing how great you would be for that special other. The nervousness to do everything right because you think they do it so naturally. It’s both innocent and ancient. Our journey of love begins far before we’d like to admit. Love is why we do. Maybe not all the time or with everything, but I think it certainly should be.

Do you know the feeling that I am talking about? I’m sure you do. It’s wonderful, isn’t it? It is not something to be rushed. Or something to be held. It is something that is and therefore makes.

I can’t express in words the feeling that comes to me when I look around and remember what I’m seeing. Life is not something that we are placed within. It is instead the very thing that we are. The world you see is nothing separate from the person you see when in front of a mirror. Reflecting back what you give, your reality is given birth. Does this counter an objective/scientific belief? I don’t believe so. It instead adds to it. Therefore, what better life to make than one that uses love for its core.

I’m falling in love with someone. She’s as wonderful as us two together make her. I enjoy the path we lay together, and the circle we flow in. Yes, I know that things don’t need to change if I finally just tell her. But they might. So that’s why, for now, I’m okay with the thought of her dancing in my head. I’ll do my best to not reach out and take it because if love is given enough time it will heal you until you can know without seeing.