The bad blind date

I just couldn’t resist sharing this story from the dating files… I knew the date was going to go wrong from the beginning when the hostess at the restaurant held the door open for us and my date snuck in the door in front of me. He insisted that we share an appetizer that he swore was the greatest piece of food he had ever tasted. Given that we had never met, I was a little uncomfortable with this. To make matters worse, he ate directly from the plate with his hands and licked his fingers between bites. Ew. This wouldn’t have been terribly disturbing, except that he kept sticking his finger in his nose. Ew squared.

I started to think that it was a subconscious action to put his finger in his nose because I had a stray piece of snot on my face. I finally excuse myself to the bathroom to see if that was the case. Naturally my purse which contained my cell phone so I could make an emergency call to leave the state.

When I realized that I was clear I started laughing and decided to see the state through. Apparently, it was a habit and not a message to me. Maybe he thought chicks like guys who pick their noses. Or maybe not. My date tried to order my mail for me but since he had no idea what I had decided upon, it was a little awkward. Even the waiter had a look on his face like, what are you doing with this doofus? Through the entire date, he didn’t look at me but continue to talk while watching a TV in the bar directly behind me. He didn’t ask me one question about myself. I tried to lead him by asking him things that I could tell him something about me. It didn’t work. Anyone surprised?

When the bill came I offered to split the meal. He reviewed the cost of the meal and determined that it was more than he wanted to spend and put down $40. I paid the remaining $75. He walked me to my car and when he moved in to give me a kiss, I shot my hand out to shake his so quickly that he looks startled. Again the surprising anyone?? When he called again to ask for another date, I let it ring. I’m sure he’s still wondering what went wrong and why I didn’t return his call. I’ll bet he’s wondering and picking his nose at the same time…