The 3 Phases That Will Make Your Ex 'Hit Your Line'

Look, I started as a political writer. And I get it. Seeing my profile, you would never believe that I would write an article about relationships and breakups.

Believe me, it's Vocal's fault. Not mine. Vocal has changed me (*laughs*). It has given me the platform to form an opinion, even for issues that I wasn't really interested in writing about.

After a lot of thought and having dreams that MLK and JFK told me to never deviate from my original historical-political niche, I decided that, sadly, I will.

For once, I would like to do the typical relationship article. For once, I would like to use the slang of "brudda" and "wanna." For once, I would like to talk about an everyday issue of the ordinary man. For once, I would like my readers to develop more of a chill vibe.

Enough with the cheesy introduction. In this article, I will talk about the female psychology of a woman that just dumped you. Not only is this based on actual data, but you will be able to recognize this attitude, provided that you have witnessed a breakup once in your lifetime.

Disclaimer #1: I'm going to talk about the breakup when the girl dumps you. I'm talking about a breakup that isn't related to cheating or a lengthy shouting match.

I was inspired to write this article based on the analysis that Apex Mindset has made in his YouTube channel, the link of which you will find here.

The Breakup

Prior to the actual set of phases that today's article analyses, we have the outcome of events before and during the breakup. The woman is under an emotional rollercoaster even before the separation because she doubts your relationship and the trust built around it.

However, anything you do that's good at this point will be diminished, and she will be frustrated if you are doing well in the relationship. You will notice it right away. 

I mean, you can try to change her view, but be aware that she has already made her mind up. At this point, there's a spark in her head that lights up and has emotions pushing her to make things up, take even the slightest issue, and make it like she doesn't like you or you aren't a good couple.

And you will look at her as a different person. And you are right when the "what's going on" hits you. Something is definitely wrong. You wanna know why?

Because everything you do at this point is associated with an unconscious bias in her mind that she doesn't like it and that she is fed up. 

However, she might not be and might not even know what she is talking about. You can understand that there's an issue if the answers in the question of "what's wrong with you" are:

• "Nothing" (as always)
• "I don't know."
• "You would never understand."
• "Leave me alone."

And the list goes on and on, even if you have good intentions of seeing what's the issue and solving it. The point is that she doesn't even know what she wants, and eventually, she dumps you.

Phase 1: API (Anger, Pity Indifference)

Yeah, I came up with that term. Cause, why not? 

This is an acronym that will help you remember the emotions of the first period after a long-lasting relationship. Many dudes think that the girl just gets over it right away, but she actually doesn't. 

The first emotion is anger. The tension built up before the breakup and after the dumping definitely continues and even intensifies. She is angry because not only you committed your energy, but you also didn't give her a substantial argument to have against you.

Then she feels pity. What I hate the most about these girls is that they are actually playing with this emotion. "Oh, I'm sorry I have hurt you," "Please don't take it personally; you are a great guy," "You will move on with your life." To all the girls out there: I know that I will move on. As a matter of fact, we both know that. 

Don't act like you are Addison Rae or something, and I should be depressed for the rest of my life cause you left me. Like, give me a break. 

The last emotion of this phase is indifference. The self-proclaimed arrogant girl, who is actually insecure, will practice pity and talk to you with the quotes above. The truly indifferent and complacent woman won't even care. That's the best female for me. She will be cold and indifferent, without all the "I want you to be happy" lines that the rest of the insecure girls will hit you with.

Phase 2: Freedom  

Word of Warning: If you are currently going through a breakup and, quite literally, you are a crybaby because she left you, you have to skip this part because it will hurt even more.

I love this part. I really do. This is when a girl will do the life of a single lady and feel free once again. Let me tell you why I love it. Girls don't like to be excessively controlled. 

As someone that I have never actually been too much of a control freak and someone that wanted to know it all (okay, maybe a little bit, but it has been a minute), I hate these types of guys.

The fact that you are in a relationship doesn't mean that you live the same life. The notion that we are a couple and I don't even let her go out alone talk to other guys or have fun without me isn't only stupid. Still, it makes me think that you deserve the cold woman to dump you. 

But she won't, because she would have never been a couple with you. She is independent and liberated. Why would she need a guy like you to tell her what to do? This is the attitude that most of the girls have in the freedom phase.

After the tension, the anxiety, and the drama around the breakup, she gets her life back. She thinks she gets her freedom. If you come back during this relief phase, you would solidify her thoughts of having her own space, and she would keep thinking that she made the right decision to dump you. 

That's the rebound phase, as well. Haha. Don't be emotional dude. It's okay. She will find another guy. We've all been through that phase. She can do whatever she wants, and if you are someone with dignity, sooner or later, you will get over it. She wants to be happy, and she is interested in trying new stuff.

Phase 3: Loneliness 

Whatever happens after that rebound phase, she gets less of her freedom phase within the first few months, and then she starts going home alone.

Loneliness & Sadness. Unless she is the arrogant type. 

9 times out of 10, the insecurities from the time before the breakup have "haunted" her all the way to this period. She can only go out too many times, she can only date too many times, and she can only have fun without you for too many nights. 

After that, it's over. I'm not saying that she will want to get back to you. All I'm saying is that this was payback for the phase when you were giving all the energy you got, and she was responding by magnifying your most minor mistakes just so she could prove her point.

Usually, around this sadness phase, she is thinking of someone that made her actually feel something. In other words, it's your big day. 

She is even starting to get mad because she isn't really on the right track of finding someone that matches you or is as good as you. And let's face it: you might not be that handsome or 'every woman's fantasy,' but you made her feel special during the relationship. That's why the loneliness will only be cured if at this point she finds someone that will make her feel special, or if you accept her back after she sends you a message. 

If you don't even have the slightest ounce of self-dignity, you will take her back. But this is another future story that I'll write. Man up, and move on.

Key Takeaway

A breakup for a woman is kinda something like a break. She wishes that she takes a break with you, just to escape the burdens you have applied to her and just so she can date other guys.

Please, do me a favor. She doesn't want to be alone, and she doesn't want to focus on herself. She wants to feel the same way she felt at the beginning of your relationship. She is searching for a rebound just so she can find the passion and leave or the boredom in your relationship behind.

Once she figures out that this short-term passion isn't more important than the long-term happiness she sacrificed, she will feel lonely.