Do studies show that you meet your soulmate before the age of 21? There is always talk of love in the world. It is one thing that a lot of people strive to achieve one day. Meeting the right person is the very tricky part. The society we all live in today, centered on lust, makes it much harder to find someone who doesn’t want to just to use you for all the wrong reasons. But is it a possibility that you walked right past, or even maybe know who your true love is before the age of 21?
Back propped on the cushioning of an arm rest cornering the room and laid sprawling across the rest of the length of the couch and somewhat over the table was I. In this case "I" was just a bigger somewhat intelligent guy with a habit of being too nice, and a cursed bit of aches that sufficed to be replaced with peaceful feelings at the slightest touch of a womanly hand. I was thoroughly satisfied in the moment spoken of. I had my stomach full and someone laying next to me, head resting see, on my chest and peace was what's best for me.
One more day goes by and everything remains the same as yesterday. The sun keeps shining every morning, the rain keeps falling on warm summer nights and my loved one is always by my side. He kisses me every morning and night; wet honey-like kisses that make even the most bitter day mellow. Life seems perfect as it is with its obvious obstacles and punches that sometimes makes you want to die. But one doesn't die and doesn't give up, the heart keeps beating and the lungs breathing, days go by at their own pace and time.
Just about everyone has a seemingly different relationship but, somehow, you are always able to relate to someone else's. Right?
Right now I’m just laying in bed, at 12:13 in the morning full of insecurities. The thing that is on my mind and constantly tugging at my heart are my thoughts about my relationship. I don’t think I’ve ever loved someone as much as I love my current S/O. Although I love him very much—like any other girl in love—I’m still full of doubts and insecurities about our relationship. I worry about things I should have confidence in. I can’t help but think that there could be a girl that is more worthy than I am for him. I feel that perhaps one day, I may not be good enough for him. I worry that one day he’ll see me and realize that he doesn’t love me anymore. The possibility of falling out of love and in love with someone else truly scares me. I’ve seen it happen a few times in my family and I’m scared of that kind of heartbreak. So many scenarios run through my mind so often that I put myself into thinking that that is what’s in the process of happening now. My insecurities about myself don't help at all. I spend so much time thinking about it when I am calling with him that it puts me into a quiet mood. A mood where I don’t know what to say or talk to him about, leaving our phone calls silent and still.
Today my favorite quote—or the most relevant—goes like this:
How can I explain what it felt like? How can I sit here and explain something that I let happen and some how not blame myself? I didn’t call the police, I didn’t tell anyone, I didn’t care. I kept making excuses for the pain, that way I could convince myself it didn’t exist.
I saw you the other day. Not in the creepy, "Every step you take", kind of way...just in passing. You were driving one direction and I, the other, but during that time, 40mph seemed to slow down to a frame by frame moment.
They told me not to love my first boyfriend because we were too young. They told me not to love him because I could do so much better. Why fall in love at 15? Why fall in love at 15 with the boy who has a lisp, wears braces, and is a theater geek?
Walking through those white empty halls felt like levitating, but the room started to fill up and get busier as the time went by, a sense of peace followed by a rush of excitement started making its way through my body reaching my fingertips, I've never felt that way. I lifted my hand slightly all of a sudden letting that overwhelmed feeling overcome all my senses, stopping myself just in time; I wasn't allowed to touch anything.
There’s this boy, he is probably the best thing to ever happen to me. No, he is the best thing to ever happen to me. This boy and I have known each other for exactly 1,827 days. For 1,827 days, I had someone. I had him; he was mine, and I, his. We might have not been fond of each other for that whole duration, but even if I needed him, I could’ve spoken to him and him to me. Could I possibly count all of our memories? Not a chance. All of our conversations? Nope. But, what I can add up is how many times he was there for me. I can only do that, because he was always there. Just one continuous event. Sure, we fight a lot, and we bicker, and we cry together, but that’s what friends are for. There are no words to describe my love for this man. There doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship. I simply love him as a person. I need him in my life. I’ve tried to live without him, and I ended up physically destroying myself, in a lot of different ways. I do not think there is a way to describe him, but I will try.