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Sunset

Too Much to Bear

By Kelly BrackettPublished 3 years ago 14 min read
2

I tore my eyes away from the beautiful view before me. The shining sun as it set on the ocean, the lovely waves as they lapped at the shore. Even though it truly was a dazzling sight, my heart was not in it. I looked to my left out of the corner of my eye and saw my best friend with his newest girlfriend. My head definitely was not in the view. Brad had been my best friend for years, always there when I needed him, even if his girlfriends hated it. But I had never felt like he was just a friend.

I was fifteen when we first met. He was seventeen, super friendly, and good friends with my brother. Turning my gaze back to the bland-looking ocean, I tried to distract myself. His current girlfriend had been just like all the others. Brad was good-looking and from a rich family who was more than willing to splurge on whatever he wanted. Thus, the trip to their beach house at no cost to Brad’s friends. I sighed lowly, trying but failing at playing with the sand between my toes. Of course, Brad was the only person I knew here. The other people were just there for the party.

“Eva?” I swallowed back the bile in my throat and turned to look at Brad, who still had a smudge of lipstick on the corner of his lips. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I replied standing to walk back towards the house where I knew I would find some peace and could be alone. “I’m going to bed. See ya tomorrow, Brad.”

It happened like this every time, to the point that I was almost sick of it. Maybe I should just go home instead of back to the beach house. Sure, Brad and I enjoyed hanging out with each other, but it was not fair to him for me to be here and sulking the entire time. He invited me along so that I could have fun, it was just too bad that the party scene was not really my thing. Walking along the shore, I stared at my feet. The ocean was nice too, but I cannot bring myself to look up.

I wanted to go home. That thought flitted through my mind again as I lifted my head to see the beach house, we were staying at come into view. Maybe it is about time for me to put some distance between myself and Brad. Holding my sandals in my left hand, I stopped walking, my eyes on my bare feet. But if I do that suddenly, he will know something is wrong. He may be oblivious, but he has always been able to tell if there is something bothering me. It made me wonder if he had noticed today, but was ignoring it in favor of being with her.

Her…his newest girlfriend hated me too, mostly because I spent a lot of time with him and knew him so well. I did not even know her name, as she would probably tell him to choose between me or her and he would refuse. They would break up, and history would repeat. It felt like an endless cycle of all of his girlfriends breaking up because of me. I knew better than to hope that it was because he had feelings for me. My throat felt tight again, and I swallowed the rising lump. How long must I suffer from this unrequited love?

Picking up my foot again, I continued into the beach house to the room I had been assigned. Instead of unpacking my overnight bag, I just called for a taxi while picking it up. Brad does not know that I had already been making plans to move. We were supposed to hang out at the beach for a week, and when we got back, I was moving out of state. I had planned to tell him this week but…I just could not handle the stress of being forever broken-hearted. I need to get away from him for a bit and get over him. Get over being in love with him when I know he will never return my feelings.

I wonder what is bothering Eva. Usually, she is a lot more talkative, more friendly, more her when we hang out together. I invited her along so that she could make more friends but there she goes, off on her own again, ignoring everyone around her. But she has always been like that. It was one of the things that was so great about having her around. I sighed softly so my girlfriend would not hear. A couple of guys watched as she walked away before coming closer to me where I sat with my girlfriend in my lap. Slightly annoyed, I shifted before looking out at the ocean.

“Brad, why do you still hang out with her?” One of the guys asked looking at my girlfriend. “I mean, you two are practically inseparable, even though you have a girl.”

“She’s quite dull, isn’t she?” My girl asked, scrunching up her nose. “The only girl you should be close to is me.”

“Don’t go there, Martha.” I stated a bit harsher than I had intended. “I mean, she’s been my friend for years. My BEST friend.”

“Well, why can’t your BEST friend be other guys?” She prattled on, her voice starting to annoy me. “Listen, I was trying to be nice, but I can’t take it. You need to choose.”

“Nope.” I picked her up and sat her on the sand before rising to a stand. “We’re through.”

This happened often. Every time my current girl realized how close I was to Eva, they would demand something like this, for some reason or another. The fact of the matter was, I was not the type of guy to want to lose any friend I made, especially not one as good as she was. She was always smiling, always happy for me, even if it served her no purpose to be. Eva was the most honest, straight-forward, loyal girl he had ever met. Ignoring her attempt to take back what she said, I walked towards the beach house before looking out at the water.

“Why do you always do that man?” One of my buddies asked, walking up next to me as I stood there. “It’s not like you’re in love with Eva, right?”

It was nothing like that, I thought watching the waves as they lapped at the shore. Shaking my head slightly, I looked out across the beach. She said she was tired, that she was going back to the house to sleep, but the purpose of this was to get her out of the shell she was always in. I frowned slightly as I thought about who she was. When it was just the two of us, she always wore a smile, wide and bright, and she let her hair down and had fun. Eva had a beautiful personality, but she was shy around new people.

“No, I’m not in love with her.” I replied, turning to look at the beach house. “She’s just a good friend. One I don’t want to give up over another girl that may be temporary.”

“So, you don’t mind if I flirt with her?” He asked, turning in that direction too. “Because I was going to anyways, but I wanted to check with you first.”

“I don’t care.” I countered, looking back out at the water. “Just don’t push her. She gets uncomfortable around new people easy.”

Just like that, my friend walked away, up the shore towards the house. It was at that moment, something felt off. I was not sure what it was, but I felt extremely uncomfortable. My eyes followed the line of water in the sand back up to the house. Was it that I was in love with her? Was that the reason I wanted her to open up to people and get out of her shell? To show her off along with the fact that I knew her? Shaking my head, I looked down and kicked at the sand with my toes. No that is simply not possible. I smiled wryly and glanced back up to see my friend running towards me.

“Uh, you put Eva in the room next to the hall bathroom, right?” He asked as he panted, putting his hands on his knees. “Because she didn’t answer when I knocked. There was not a sound in there.”

My eyes widened at this, and I took off on a run, all the way up to the house. I knew I should have kept a better eye on her. Eva, after all, gets sick really easily. I knocked on the door a couple times before pulling it open. The bed was still made, the windows closed, but two things were missing. Eva and the bag she had brought with her for our week-long trip to the beach. There was no note, no message, nothing. I walked out of her room to the bathroom and knocked before opening the door. She was not there either.

“Maybe she had to leave to go to work?” My friend supplied, but I shook my head. “Maybe something came up with her family?”

No, that was not like her. Eva would not leave without letting me know something. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I checked for any messages from her only to frown. There was nothing there either. I sighed before turning my gaze back out to the beach where my now ex-girlfriend was flirting with one of my buddies. What made Eva leave so suddenly? I knew she did not like these social gatherings all that much, but I thought that was just her shyness. Had she finally gotten tired of being invited to these things and not knowing anyone?

“Either way, I’ll flirt with her next time.” He continued, picking up on my mood. “Come on, you can talk to her when you get back home.”

I still did not know what I was doing. It had been a year since I packed up and left my former city behind, but now I was coming back. This time, it was only to visit my parents. I sighed softly as I looked out the window of the car, I was in. I had left to get over him, but it had not worked in the slightest. I still thought about him constantly, still had to find a way to chase thoughts of him from my mind. I was twenty-three now, but my heart was still stuck on my unrequited love. Was I ever going to be able to have a normal relationship with someone?

Sighing as the car pulled up to my parent’s house, I lifted my purse and phone before opening the door. Walking around to the trunk, I waited for the driver to pop the lid and grabbed my one luggage bag. The familiar air of the neighborhood I once lived felt stifling as I pulled the handle up on my bag so I could wheel it into their house. Since it had been a year since I left, the place looked extremely different even though it truly had not changed. It had a pretty flowerbed and a well-manicured lawn. I sighed again, not really wanting to be here.

“You’ve stopped dating since last year.” My brother stated, looking out of the window of my room. “People are starting to ask questions. What is going on with you? Mom and Dad are worried too.”

“Nothing is wrong, Abe. I just don’t want to date anyone anymore.” I replied, staring at the game on my computer. “Not interested.”

“It’s because of her isn’t it?” The question bounced around in my head but I ignored it. “Come on, Brad, you have to quit this.”

I had lost my best friend with no explanation, and apparently, every girl I dated at that time in my life was only interested in the money my parents made. All I was left with was a bunch of questions and no answers. I happened to glance, then, out of the window in time to see a taxi pull up to Eva’s house. There, stepping out of the car, was Eva. Her blonde hair had grown down to her waist in vibrant curls and she looked…depressed. She seemed to freeze then and her gaze turned up towards my window as if she could feel my eyes on her.

I swallowed before flying out of my room and across the street, fully intent on telling her off for leaving last year and making me confused and worried for her. Unfortunately, everything I thought I was going to say died in my throat the moment I came to a stop in front of her. She was wearing a pencil skirt with a white button-up that made her look extremely professional. Under her left arm was a name-brand designer purse and it matched the rolling luggage bag she had on the ground next to her. As her eyes ran across me, she frowned.

“Brad…I wasn’t expecting you to still be here.” Eva said, looking down and away from me. “Sorry, but I need to get inside. Mom and Dad are waiting for me.”

“Wait, Eva, we need to talk.” I started but she shook her head. “Eva?”

“I’m only here for the weekend.” She replied softly, her voice low. “Sorry.”

Without thinking, I grabbed her arm and pulled her until she was in mine. I had hugged her before, a friendly arm around the shoulder, but I had never hugged her like this. With her curves pressed flush against my body, I could feel my heart pound really hard in my chest. I never wanted to let go, until I felt her struggling to back away from me. I felt more confused than ever, but when her eyes met mine, a foreign emotion clogged my throat. The more I tried to understand what was going on, the harder it became to breathe under the sight of her teary eyes.

“I have to go…” Eva’s voice was barely above a whisper.

I could only stand there and watch as she walked away, up the steps, and into the house, without once turning back to me. My head was spinning and my chest felt heavy. Just what was it that was making me feel this way? Why did my heart hurt the way it was currently? Before I could even do anything, though, I heard my brother say my name from somewhere behind me. I wanted to turn, to ask him what was wrong with me, but I felt frozen as I stared up the steps at the closed door Eva had walked through.

“I knew it. You ARE in love with her.” He said walking in front of me, blocking my view. “Right now, you look like a kicked puppy.”

“Huh?”

“Good grief, are you really that stupid?” Abe continued, laughing at my confused expression. “You are in love with Eva. Get it now?”

I froze again, before shaking my head. No, that could not be. I could not be in love with her because…because…the more I tried to make excuses to myself, the more it felt like a veil was slowly being pulled from my eyes. What was wrong with me? Why did I never notice the reason why I kept her so close? Wait, no. That is not right. I noticed it, I just denied it myself. Shaking my head, I stepped around my brother and straight up to the front door to her parents’ house. Now that I have realized it, there is no way I plan to let her leave without putting myself out there.

“Eva, I need to talk to you.” I said knocking on the door. “Come on, I know you’re there.”

When the door pulled open, she stood there with slightly red eyes. That was when I knew for sure, there was no doubt in my mind. I loved her and always had. Not as a friend or a sister. I do not know when this love started, but it will truly begin here. At least, I hope that is where it begins. I will not let her leave without telling her the truth. For the first time, I felt nervous as I stood under her gaze. What do I say? Where do I start? Enough is enough, I just need to say what I came to say and worry about rejection later.

“I’m sorry. I should have done this a lot sooner.” I started, grabbing her wrist. “I’m in love with you and I have been for a long time. I’m stupid because I only just realized it.”

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About the Creator

Kelly Brackett

It has always been my passion to share stories with people. I am building my online presence and opening myself up to other platforms to write for. As an author, I do my best to learn and grow to give my readers the best possible content.

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