Storytime: My Boyfriend Asked If We Can See Other People and I Don't Know If I Handled It Well.

Please what do you think?

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for what will be 5 years now. Our relationship had been awesome. I’m 25, he’s 26, we started dating in university.

Earlier this year, he asked me how I would feel about seeing other people – not to date but to experiment with and sleep with. He said he doesn’t feel like he has enough “experience”, that he wants me to be open to the idea because he does not want to break up.

I won’t kid myself, I know I’m not the most attractive girl in the world. When I walk into a room, nobody turns their head two times to look at me. My boyfriend is objectively out of my league and as sad as it is to admit, I know. It's why I’ve tried very hard to make our relationship last – I have practically become iyawo. I cook, I clean, I gave him my virginity on the same day I took his. The question I was expecting was proposal not open relationship. So I told him no.

After I said no, the issue died down for a while. Then, in November, I got a call from my friend. She had been swiping through a dating app and saw my boyfriend’s picture come up. I didn’t believe it and I asked her to send me screenshot. It was his profile.

When I asked him about it, he said it was somebody using his picture to catfish people online. My boyfriend has 276 followers on Instagram, he’s not a celebrity, why would anybody use his picture to lie? I didn't say anything.

Then, days passed and this is where things get interesting – he came back from the supermarket with a bag full of groceries and he kept it on the dining table. As I normally do, I started unpacking the bag to arrange everything. Inside the bag, I saw the receipt of the purchase so picked it up just to take a look at it. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw next.

On the receipt, it said one of the items purchased was Durex. As in Durex Condoms. Yet, inside the bag, I searched and searched and I did not see any Durex condom inside the bag. I didn’t want to think anything of it but days later when we were in bed, I asked him to bring a condom and he said he didn’t have any.

Jide, I think my boyfriend is cheating on me. Did I go about this whole thing wrong? Should I have accepted the proposal of the open relationship? At least with that I won’t need to worry about all this lying and even apart from the lying, these days my boyfriend has been more distant. He’s not the way he used to be. I wish I had more confidence in myself and this would sound bad but I don’t think I can attract any man better than him. I really don’t. He’s very good-looking, everybody says so. He has a really good job, he’s independent, funny, charismatic. He’s out of my league and I don’t want him to leave me but I feel like if I don't go along with this whole open relationship thing, he will leave me. I don’t know what to do.

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Story sent in by Theresa via email: [email protected] . This story has slightly been edited for clarity and storytelling purposes. Please feel free to e-mail me if you have any interesting storytimes or questions you want me to share.

Jide's Advice.

Hmmm. This one is complicated. What I will advice you to do is be very honest with yourself. As much as you like this guy, how do you feel about cheating? How do you feel about lying? Because that is what he’s doing now regardless of his good looks and his independence. Ask yourself, are you okay with knowing that your boyfriend is not only out there on the streets but also very visibly out there – somebody that has even opened public account on dating app. You have to ask yourself if it’s worth it to you. You have to ask yourself if this perfect ‘image’ that everybody loves of your man is worth fighting for even despite his real character of lying and cheating. Looking happy and being a cute couple to the world means nothing if you’re actually miserable inside the house. So my advice to you will be to really think about it and really be honest with yourself. Can you do an open relationship? If the answer is no, my advice is bounce! Believe me, there is somebody else out there. Regardless of how you look, if you've caught one, you can catch another one. Somebody out there I'm telling you will die for you and would want only you and if that is what you're looking for, then I advice you go for that. Then again, it is your decision Theresa.

Dear reader, What do YOU think? Do you think she made the right decision by saying no to the open relationship?

Do you think she should stay in this relationship?

It’s complicated and I’d really love to hear what you guys think. Please leave a comment on my Facebook post if you have any thoughts you’d like to share. I’m always interested in hearing.

That’s All.

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