Stop The Asian Hate

In 2019, a comedian was fired from SNL for making racist remarks on a podcast. It made headlines. I clicked one of these headlines at the time and discovered his comments were made about Asians, more specifically Chinatown wherever he lives. Reading the stories without hearing the comments, I'll admit I was dismissive at first. Then I actually looked up what the guy said.

It's two white guys talking about how much they hate Chinatown and they really go in. The word 'chinks' is used, they refer to Chinese food as 'dishonest cuisine', the comedian that got himself fired says at one point "An Asian person trying to learn English infuriates me more than any other race playing music in restaurants."

So of course, once you're in the headlines you have to respond, right? Here's his apology:

“I’m a comedian who pushes boundaries. I sometimes miss. If you go through my 10 years of comedy, most of it bad, you’re going to find a lot of bad misses.” “I’m happy to apologize to anyone who’s actually offended by anything I’ve said. My intention is never to hurt anyone but I am trying to be the best comedian I can be and sometimes that requires risks.”

Shortly after, this comedian's career continued, and here are some quotes that I found:

"I've been receiving a lot of death threats, but you should know that I read all of them out loud in an accent."

Addressing a Vietnamese Comedian on Stage:

"You ever gotten in a guerilla warfare fight? Is that how you fight, punch the guy and then run? (to the crowd) Because they're goddamn cowards."

"His cousin's name was Come To Brows"

I've spent the first precious paragraphs of this article rehashing things you probably already know for a reason. If you take everything that this asshole has said publicly, both before and after his professional depantsing and alter them so that they are not directed towards Asian-Americans but African-Americans instead and what do you have? Racism that's not okay. You don't get to work anymore and you stink, forever. No one wants to be near you or attach their brand to yours and rightfully so.

Aim that same ignorance at us though, and now you're simply "pushing a boundary" and your punishment is that you're denied entry into the upper echelon. Why the imbalance? Is it a numbers thing? Asians only make up 5.9% of the United States population, after all. Is it okay to say or do whatever you want about a group as long as that group is small? Is our lack of sheer numbers a reason to deny us the same (surface) civility that's required for other minority groups?

Here's where I stop addressing everyone and start talking to my Asian brothers and sisters (All of y'all. Anyone with eyes that look like mine, dig?) to ask you some uncomfortable questions, the same ones that I've had to ask myself in the past couple of months. How many times have you let that Asian joke slide at a dinner party? How many times have you been stereotyped out loud to your face and not spoken up to defend yourself? Have you ever gone home and paced around your living space furious about something that your close white friend said to you?

I would be shocked if you could answer all of those questions proudly. I certainly couldn't, and that is the answer to the question that I'm sure all of you have asked yourselves in bewilderment over the last year, every time some idiot refers to it as the Chinese Flu or you read something about one of yours getting attacked in public while minding their own business.

Submissiveness. To say that we were all raised identically would be racist as well but I believe there is some intangible idiosyncrasy hidden in our genetic codes that make us quieter people. Don't rock the boat. Don't cause a fuss. Don't upset the herd. That is the reason why it's okay to fuck with us, plain and simple. Because it's so easy to punch something that isn't going to hit you back.

That's why when I see #StopAsianHate I find it ridiculous. We have been the quiet, inanimate punching bag so long that expecting the punchers to become enlightened and stop on their own is asinine. It's not that I don't appreciate the sentiment... You know something? I really don't. I implore you not to get caught up in the whirlwind of caring that was spawned only when people started getting shot or attacked in the streets. The underlying stance on us as a people has not changed. You want to stop Asian hate? It starts with you, as uncomfortable as that might be.

1. Unity

I am proudly Filipino. I am also proudly realistic. In this country, to 85% of the unwashed masses I am Chinese. I am Japanese. I am Taiwanese. I am whatever Asian the public needs to point a finger at that day. We are lumped together, we are attacked together, the least we can do is stand together. For God's sake, if you have slanted eyes don't call it the Chinese Flu. Because as I've already said, if you live in America, outside your educated group of friends you are Chinese. Even if you're Korean.

2. Recognize Your Allies

More important than "Knowing Thy Enemy" is "Knowing Who Is NOT Thy Enemy." There are people out there who view you as an equal and judge you by your actions and merits as an individual, not an Asian individual. You know who they are. Treasure them and have their back like they have yours, I don't care what race they are.

3. Strike Hard, No Mercy

If you're familiar with Cobra Kai, you'll notice I left out the first part of the mantra, which is "Strike First" which we all are never going to do. You remember those questions above that alluded to "How many times have you let racism towards you slide?" STOP making new memories in this genre. If anyone insults you or brings up stereotypes to make you feel like less of a human being because you're Asian.... The correct thing to do at that moment is to rip their fucking head off and throw it to the dogs. Metaphorically speaking of course, you psycho.

Clench your verbal fist, draw it back and do your best to send that person into a different time zone. Trust me, I know from experience; if you don't you're inviting the comments to become more frequent and less restrained. Even a little punch will do, but the harder the punch, the more likely that person is to remember that they can't speak to you that way.

E.G

"Oh, Cookies... I was hoping you'd bring spring rolls to the potluck!"

"I was hoping that you could raise your children correctly. How is little Bobby enjoying rehab?"

That's right. Take the most embarrassing thing you know about that person, something you know is a sensitive nerve. That's where you aim your punch. Did you want a friend that views you as lesser than them no matter what you do anyways? Now you are no longer an inanimate punching bag, and hopefully you did it in front of others who also now know they can't speak to you that way. It's a very simple lesson that even children can learn the first time. That's hot, don't touch that again.

I know, the thought of counter-punching potential friends is gut-wrenching but in the grand scheme of things, it's a very small step. A step which, if left untaken will keep #StopAsianHate what it is. A joke. Microwaved Level 1 empathy that will go cold again in a matter of months. Do not let the very fickle culture we live in dictate whether or not you deserve respect as a human being. You do. Always.