Spring Love

I guess you can call this an update. Many have asked so many questions about my winter love. If we still talk? No. Sadly, we do not. We still have each other on social media, but we aren’t on speaking terms. Have I tried to talk to her again? Multiple times, but I gave up. Why did I gave up? I will not chase someone who doesn’t want me. That’s a waste of time and effort. Does anyone else beside my one friend know about my winter love? Many know her description, but not her. That’s a yes and no answer. Am I over her? I know I’m not the only one, but if she ever comes back to me, I will take her in with open arms. I will embrace her so that the glue she used to fix herself together will melt her all back to a solid piece. Does she know she’s my winter love? No. Many have tried to encourage me, but I feel like she wouldn’t care. I believe she have read this since she’s been seeing my posts about this. I haven’t said anything to her nor has my friend. If she think this is her, she would message me. What would happen if she messaged me? I would tell her everything if she asks, but she hasn’t so I would rather be quiet.

So what comes after winter love? You asked me. My answer? Spring love. Who is spring love? Just read and see.

After a cold harsh winter, spring is the next season, my favorite season of all. Maybe it’s because my birthday is near the first day of spring or maybe because my favorite artists released their new music? Spring is my favorite weather because of the rain. The rain where I feel all comfortable and cozy—kind of like how I feel towards my spring love. For me to feel comfortable is rare. It takes me days or weeks to ever feel comfortable with someone, but with spring love, it was years.

You might be thinking ah, here she go again, falling in love. The weird thing is… I didn’t. Not yet anyway. I felt weird that I didn’t. I think of spring love more as a friend than a lover. My spring lover, you are perfect, but with flaws. I met you a long time ago. I ignored you, and I am still forever sorry for that. I treated you like shit without meaning to. I hurt you without realizing it. I did so much damage on you that you bring it up to me like it’s nothing, but still hit me like a bullet. I gave you hugs and you accepted with such delight. You accepted me first before anyone else did. I should've noticed earlier. You told me you loved me over and over and over and over. I became annoyed with it so I shut you out. I no longer wanted to hear you telling me you love me. You love my scars and stretch marks. That you love my crooked smile. I was tired of it. So, I locked you in a closet and screamed at you to be quiet.

I don’t know how many "sorry's" are enough, but once again, I am sorry. Spring love, I know it will take time to accept and love me again. Please do know that I am ready. 'Cause after all, I am my own spring love.