Small, Intentional Light

Today I made a radical decision. I put my phone in my pocket while running errands.

This simple step allowed me to take in more of the world around me and be more engaged with the people in my path.

It's about 4pm on a Saturday and the parking lot is full. I have to park significantly further away than I'd like, but would just rather park than circle the lot looking for the closer spot.

I do pause a moment to question my life decisions on why I chose to come to the store at this time, but I shrug it off because "Oh well, I'm already here."

After parking, I disconnect my phone from the charger and hop out. I immediately click open my email so I can take care of any pressing matters during the long hike ahead of me. Truth is, there is not anything that needs an immediate response. I close the email and click on my social media apps, but I just checked those an hour ago.

A small voice in my head reminds me that I promised to be more intentional this year and it occurs to me that scrolling through my phone on the way into the store is more out of habit than any self-convincing thoughts around "maximizing productivity."

After locking the screen, I slide my phone into my left pocket with aspirations to be more present.

Noticing the sound my shoes make as they collide with the concrete, I take a deep breath and feel the cold chill of wintery air on my cheeks. Large black crows hop around the cars on the ground and I have a silly thought about how they must be from New York or something because of how unafraid they seem to be of people.

A young family exits the store. Mom pushes the grocery cart with two little boys in tow. One is in the grocery cart smashing two action figures together and making all sorts of crashing and swooshing sounds with his mouth. The other, a few years older, is standing on the front of the cart facing the parking lot with his hands stretched behind him and holding on tight to the basket. He's all grins despite the cool breeze that seems to be making his eyes water a bit.

Mom looks a little exhausted, but the kids are nothing but smiles and laughter. I may not have noticed them before, but today is different.

As I pass by I offer a compliment and say, "Those boys look like they don't have a care in the world. You must be a great Mom!"

Honestly, she is in her own world and I think is a bit startled that I talked to her. Her eyes search for the voice that made the comment. We lock eyes as I pass. She says thank you and I smile.

Once inside the store, the hustle and bustle is real! People are going in every direction as they fill their carts with all the groceries they need. It's difficult to even turn down some aisles because some are trying to carefully pop back out into the main lanes without baskets crashing.

I decide to not be in a hurry so I can really experience the world around me. At one point I get stuck in an aisle where an older man stands on the right side while looking for items on the left. He looks at his list and then back up at the items. His cart is canted in a way that makes passing him difficult. I know I could just say excuse me and squeeze past, but I decide to wait patiently. He doesn't even notice me for a solid minute or so.

When he notices, he apologizes and I comment that sometimes my wife gives me an item to pickup and it seems simple enough until I realize there are 14 different versions of it. He chuckles with a kind of "Oh, you too!" acknowledgement. I noticed a slight grin appear and realize that simple act of patience took his mind off the flustered feeling of needing to find the right product, even if just for a moment.

I walk through the store offering a sincere smile and "Hi!" to anyone I make eye contact with on my route. Some smile back, others stare back blankly or even rudely. I'm not looking for any specific response, I just wanna offer a little love.

Soon enough I'm at the checkout line. I have an opportunity to let someone cut ahead that has significantly less items than me and the relief on their face is a reward in itself.

I watch the cashier as she checks out one person after the next. She often says "How are you?" to each customer without looking up. The people she's talking to respond and ask the same question back, but don't really look up either as they are already digging in their purses and wallets for their credit cards. It occurs to me that the person is treated no different than the self checkout machine nearby. I don't think anyone means anything by it, but we are all just in such a hurry and kind of consumed by our own important world. I'm certainly guilty of this!

When it's my turn the cashier offers her standard, robotic greeting as she starts scanning the items.

"I'm doing well, how are you?"

She barely responds as she continues ringing up the products. I compliment her finger nails and she looks up at me. We make eye contact for the first time and I smile. She realizes I'm being sincere and her entire demeanor changes. Suddenly she gets all bubbly and talkative and we have a nice conversation in that three minutes I had with her. I learned about her family and what she is planning to do in the future. I heard about her dreams and what she's passionate about. I asked questions and didn't talk about myself very much other than to mention I have the same number of kids. She looks me in the eyes as she hands me my receipt and tells me to have a blessed day.

I felt good when I left that store because I made a positive boost in a few other people's day as well. How simple it is to smile and make eye contact. To offer a compliment or word of encouragement. I'm reminded of a quote by Mother Teresa that says, "You can do no great things; only small things with great love."

Bringing a little light to my own little sphere of influence is not hard. It will largely go unnoticed. It just requires a little focused intentionality.

I think I'll keep my phone in my pocket tomorrow too.