Slave of the Past or Mistress of Time?

The past is full of lessons, and the deepest lessons we have to learn come largely from the big "mistakes."

"The past is what you remember, you imagine you remember, you convince yourself that you remember or you pretend to remember." - Harold Pinter

Nobody tells you it's easy. Nobody tells you it's damn hard. You have to find out for yourself. To torment yourself. Fight with your biggest enemy: YOU. 

Search through the memories. Go back and forth on the action until you catch your breath. Stubbornly contradict someone who tells you that time heals on its own. Let your longing blood dry. Do you miss it? Over time, the same time brute, your longing no longer has even an object - a fixed chip. In the meantime, now he is getting older too…

To convince yourself that, in fact, somewhere where no one sees and reaches, there yes, there may be, in that corner of the heart… you still believe in love, the petty, pathetic word that always happens only to others. Let your heart be gripped by the painful gesture of a love that has chosen to leave. To grope now as in the darkest darkness, wondering why God is here. Is that so.

For what? To bring to the eyes of memory a gesture you made earlier. Until millions of grievances gather in the corner of the heart. Wipe them with nerves and discouragement.

Gather a thousand "ifs" on your chest and hug them for years. To drain your power to forgive simply, innocently. Carry a daily burden on your shoulders and get used to living together in a tormented symbiosis. To fall prey to the same mistake. Let them hurt you with the same mistake you used to hurt. Let the past dictate your present.

And all this to understand. JUST TO UNDERSTAND. To understand that you are not the one who wants the good of the one you loved, that he was just an injured person. To understand that the past is a snowball that, once you've rolled over, you can't stop.

To understand that you deserve hope, that the future is your right, that the present is your only chance to live NOW. To understand that the past is quieter and more feared among soul predators. To understand that someone who pulled the strings differently than you would have liked at some point did not make a mistake.

To know that you can redeem your mind and soul in the clutches of the past… To… In how many ways and how many times can something hurt you that once hurt you? In thousands of ways if feelings have never been buried. Thousands of times if the pain, disappointment, and remorse have never been healed.

I'm sorry, past… You have to leave me. And I have to go. The present is waiting for me. So are you.

How to change your past and get rid of past mistakes

The past, especially if it's not the one you'd want, can be a double-edged sword. Neither edge cuts to the outside. The big fight is going on inside. "Every time you dig up an old suffering or mistake by repeating it over and over in your mind, or worse, every time you talk to someone about that mistake, every time you dig up a grave," says Dr. Robert. Anthony.

The pains of the past, the failures, the disappointments, the remorse, the mistakes can be released by facing them, wiping them with the sponge from your mind, refusing to grant them a present existence.

For better or worse, the past must be locked in the box of the mind and brought to the surface only from time to time, when memories produce a state of well-being. And the present problems need to be solved. And the future requires some intellectual training to deal with it. But the past must be left alone.

"To think of the past and to live in the past is pure death. Every time you do this, you strengthen your belief in the limitations of time. Thinking about the past, especially if it hurts you, means adding extra years for sure, it means becoming more vulnerable and attracting senility with your own hands ", says the same psychologist.

What you can do if your past is painful or you have been hurt by others is to forgive. Forgiveness is an ironic thing. Isn't it ironic that forgiving someone helps you more than yourself than the person who needs to be forgiven? … Forgiveness can bring you liberation and has the power to close the past behind you.

You can go on with your forehead up, without being overwhelmed by the burden of the past. If you can't forgive a person's gesture, action, or behavior, try to forgive the person. You don't have to forgive the deed. Forgive only the person.

It is a personal act that will make you accept the act of that person and move on, freeing yourself from the burden that is inside you. Don't you think it's in your power? Surely it is in your power.

When you choose the pieces of the past that you return to, turn to those fragments of the past that are dear to you and that are not laden with evil or pain. Focus on the bright and positive aspects of your past. When you return to him, the past must catch you with a smile on his face… That is the right past.

Only you, TEMPORARILY, have to give him, TEMPORARILY, the right to come back to life. And even if someone feels bad because of a past action of yours, and you tried to do everything you could to correct that mistake and get your forgiveness, you still have the right to be forgiven. Who doesn't have ?? …. Instead of focusing on the things of the past that you can't change, focus on the things of the present that can be changed.

Why don't we do that? What holds us back? The past? If it can be changed, change it. This will make it easier for you to "close" the past. If nothing can be changed, leave it. Let him go. On him your past. With everything in it.

What you can do if you think you have made mistakes in your past or made the wrong decisions is to understand that mistakes never define us as people. We are neither our past mistakes nor our present mistakes. And mistakes are not mistakes. They are just an effect of the choice you made at one point, believing that it is the best choice for you, believing that it is the right path at that moment.

The past is full of lessons, and the deepest lessons we have to learn come largely from the big "mistakes." "The events of the past do not exist anywhere else but in your memories, which gives rise to the feelings and thoughts we have about them.

The events themselves are neutral. We judge them based on how they affect us. We classify as beautiful memories those things and events that have been to our benefit. We classify in bad memories those things that have hurt us. It is not the events themselves that remain with us, but the feelings that remain from those past perceptions.

And even if we can't change the memories of the events, we can change our interpretation of them. " (says Dr. Alex Likerman in psychology today)