Should I Say Sorry To My Ex If I Want Him Back (Is It Bad To Apologize To Your Ex)

If you have split up with your ex but believe that the relationship is worth salvaging, then one of the ways to get back together is to say sorry for all the hurt that you have caused. Apologizing is commonly done if a person wants to reunite with his or her ex because in the course of a relationship there are bound to be hurtful words said or actions committed, especially when the relationship starts to turn ugly.

But to say sorry can also be a double-edged sword. It may open up the relationship and let you and your ex work things out but it can also turn into a shouting match, if not handled correctly. So, before you go and say sorry in order to get back your ex, you need to be aware of how to manage this important step to boost your chances of getting back together.

Apologize For The Right Reasons

Many people say sorry for the sake of getting back together but without a careful thought of what to apologize for. Even worse if you say sorry but you hardly mean what you say and is not going to change for the better as promised. Bear in mind that empty promises will not repair your relationship because your ex might just be able to read what is on your mind. In the event that you do manage to get back your ex but has no intention of keeping your promises, your relationship is certainly not going to last either.

At the same time, you also cannot be blaming yourself for everything that went wrong in the relationship. You should say sorry if you have clearly committed a mistake and hurt your ex but to put all the blame on yourself and apologize for them all will not make your relationship a better one. It takes both parties to have a happy relationship.

Therefore, if you accept all the blame for what went wrong earlier, you would be putting unnecessary pressure on yourself to make the reunion last. A relationship cannot be a happy one if only one partner is doing all the work in keeping it together. Saying sorry is important but knowing what to be sorry for is critical.

Do Not Get Into An Argument

Apologizing is often one of the best methods to get back an ex. It shows that you still care enough to say you are sorry and it can also project your sincerity in wanting to improve the relationship. Even if an apology cannot get back your ex immediately, it is often a good step to take at some point in your quest to win him back if you have indeed done something wrong.

But saying sorry can also lead to an argument. This is because it entails bringing up a past misdeed and accusations can start to surface from your ex. Furthermore, when you and your ex begin to talk about you have done, it can lead him to bring up other thorns in the relationship to start an argument.

As a result, before you say sorry to your ex, you have to plan what you want to say and how to say it. You should also anticipate what your ex would say and the issues that he would bring up. This will help you to stay calm and keep your emotions in check. Do not let your ex control the course of the conversation that could lead to another fight. If your ex brings up another sensitive issue, acknowledge it but do not be defensive to give your ex a reason to start an argument. Otherwise, your apology would turn into another shouting match.

There Are No But's Allowed

However, a humble and sincere apology becomes superficial when you use the word "but". It's a big no-no in the art of making up. Using this killer word only suggests that you are still in an argumentative state. If you are really sincere in apologizing to your ex, you should put all the blaming aside. Remember that a bad apology can make the situation even worse. What you really need is an effective one, something that he will find hard to resist.

When apologizing to your ex, make sure that everything you say will make him feel better. Avoid saying things that will ignite another misunderstanding or argument. So, before attempting to apologize to him, prepare beforehand of what you're going to say.

Walk In His Shoes

To make an effective apology that will give you a bigger chance of being forgiven, try to put yourself in your ex-boyfriend's shoes. You have to understand why he's upset and you need to convince him that you really understand his point.

Focus On The Issues

If you want to say sorry to get back your ex, you should steer the meeting into focusing on the issues at hand. The ideal outcome is to use the opportunity to rebuild trust and resolve problems rather than assign blame.

You can certainly apologize for a past mistake but what is done cannot be undone. Say sorry and then move on to resolve the underlying problem. Do not let the meeting to linger on the blame part as blaming would leave both of you feeling bitter. If you want to get back together with your ex, assigning blame would get you nowhere near that goal.

In summary, saying sorry can be an effective way to win back your ex but it has to be done with careful thought and tact. Just remember that it is a way for you to show your sincerity to work things out and not an opportunity for you to plead and beg for another chance.

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