Should I Save My Marriage Or Move On (How To Know If You Should Save Your Marriage)

Have you arrived to that point of your life when you can't decide what to do next? Do you see no going further without having to choose between two thought steps to take? Have you started thinking about the "D word" because you don't know the answer to this concussive question: is this marriage worth saving?

If you are in this unfortunate point in your life, you need to think hard, because you can't possibly go on in free fall pretending nothing has happened. Gather all your strength and let's discuss it.

You need to put yourself these main questions: what happened? Is it something irreparable, like cheating, or that you haven't paid attention to each other, and now you feel like two strangers living under the same roof? Can this be mended? Putting his/her fault aside: what are you willing to do to make this work? Are you willing to make sacrifices and pull double shift in order to save your marriage? Can you see any way for that to happen?

If his behavior towards you has been changed, it can change back. But there are some unpardonable things, which can clearly tell you if this marriage is worth saving or not. Has he ever laid a hand on you, or your children? Has he started drinking and frighten you with his conduct? If so, you need to put this problem into the hands of authorities and let the professionals take it from there. No matter how much you love him, until this problem hasn't been dealt with, there's nothing you can do about it.

But there may be less tragic issues at the roots of your difficulties. If you've been experiencing emotional distance or even suspect them of having an affair, you need to confront your spouse with your fears. However, don't ambush them with tears and accusations, since you will likely end up in fighting once again. Be objective, talk in first person, and share your troubles. Don't let your emotions get the best of you, but be calm and ask their help in resolving this unfortunate situation. You'll see, having a clear, tantrum free discussion will clear many things up, and even if you won't get the good news what you've been hoping for, at least you'll know where you stand.

In an emotional crisis a lot of people can only think of their present problems, and nothing else. This is unpleasant and exhausting, and you probably won't find the solution by agonizing about it anyway. Try taking a break, doing something you enjoy, taking your mind off these troubles. And by this, we don't mean becoming a workaholic. Meet some friends; try to have a good time, do some sports which require you to concentrate. Trust us, you'll feel a lot better after that, and your marital problems will seem less alarming. If you can get your spouse to join you on this, and have fun without bringing everything up, you've won half the battle.

If you see that things got out of your hand, we suggest you look up a marital counselor. They can make you see issues from different perspective, address problems you were afraid or embarrassed to mention. A therapist will help you get a clear view on your question: is this marriage worth saving.

Whatever you decide, be sure you've tried every other possibility before putting an end to a once happy relationship. Because realizing too late that this marriage is worth saving after all, would only bring you more misery. Be strong, be persevered and be patient, this could be a new beginning to your marriage.

Be Your Own Marriage Counselor

Love is essential in any marriage. When the love wanes, then it would seem like the marriage has lost its legs to stand on. Perhaps your are experiencing a serious lack or absence of love in your marriage and you are looking for ways to get back the love into the relationship. If this is the state that you are presently in, then you should try considering counseling to save the relationship. Or better still, try being your own counselor.

Some of you may be thinking this is a silly direction to take but just stop and think about it. This may be the best plan of action yet for you and your partner to resolve issues in your relationship. You and your partner are in the best position to analyze your situation as you two are the direct parties to it. Only you will be able to figure out what caused your relationship to break down and subsequently formulate solutions to save the relationship.

Most couples, when faced with a crisis in their relationship, usually let their emotions take control, marring their objectivity. If you and your partner can set aside these negative emotions, you will better be able to sort out your differences and decide on the best resolution to the problem to save the relationship.

Start by giving each other some space before talking about the issues, specially when the wounds are still fresh. Once you have individually sorted out your emotions and are ready to be objective about it, sit down and talk about it. Go back in time to identify what led to the conflict. Remember, at the start of your relationship, you both were filled with passion and zeal. You were brimming with love for each other. You were both filled with excited anticipation of what the future will bring. But at some point, all that was lost. Examining the past will enable you to identify what caused this.

Was it the day to day pressures of living that caused you to forget the passion? Have you committed sins of omission? Have you been giving enough to the relationship or have you been constantly at the receiving end thus, making your partner feel that he or she has been at the losing end? Remember love is a two-way street. Have you two been so complacent because you have been together for so long, that you have forgotten the thing that brought you two together in the first place - the undying love that you professed for each other.

Ask yourself these questions and others that may be able to bring out the cause of your rift. It is only you and your partner who would know the answers to these. Getting to the root of the problem is key and once you are able to recognize the root, then you have taken the first big step to being your own counselor and be on your way to save the relationship.

Oftentimes it is the small irritants accumulated over time that cause the major rift between couples. Maybe you both were not sensitive enough to catch these and while they were still easier to control. In recognizing the root of the problem, you are able to thresh these out and eventually resolve them.

Try being your own counselor. After all, you and your partner are the major players in the relationship and are at the best position to define the problem and formulate a lasting resolution to it. Make the effort. As your own counselor, you can look at the problem at all angles. Solutions are more lasting when these are put together by the involved parties - you and your partner.

Finally, when you have come to an agreement, be willing to make changes if needed. It is only if you are willing to do your share to save the relationship will you be able to get back the love that you seemingly lost.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage. To learn more visit: Steps to Save Your Marriage