Shiver, I Should Have Used Tinder
#TL;DR #MyWorstDate #Catfish
#MyWorstDate (so far) occurred when I was 15. Just a bit of backstory, I grew up with a single mom who was pretty strict and wouldn't let me date until an undetermined age which led me to be rebellious in many ways. One of the things I used to do was spend the night at friend's houses and use their freedom to go out. One of these opportunities was for a double date. I was staying with a girl who was my best friend at the time named "Ashley" (not really). My friend Ashley was a year or two younger than me, but her boyfriend at the time was older than both of us. "Ashley" and "Benny" were going out for a couple of months already when I told her about this guy I started talking to on Facebook, she was always kind of rude whenever guys showed any sort of interest in me and she always seemed so shocked and would even give me a "good for you" hug. When I told her about this guy I thought I liked, I mentioned I was nervous and asked her to double with me.
In the year 2011, (or around then) young adults and teens were just beginning to transition from MySpace to Facebook which triggered a period of just adding anyone you might know, or have seen before, or you think is cute, as a friend. I tried to remain cautious. Didn't try hard enough apparently.
So one day as a 00s teen does I was scrolling around on Facebook and a Friend Request popped up in my notifications from this "boy" named "Skip" and I did a quick skim of his profile, he looked my age, a skater boi, skinny, blonde (Zac Efron's HSM haircut), and he appeared to be short. I accepted his request, which prompted a "Hey, thanks for accepting my request" message from the very same boy. From what I remember I think I said a "Oh you're welcome, do I know you from school?" which led to a conversation along the lines of this:
Skip: No i dont think so. i go 2 blank High School. wut school do u go to?Me: O I go 2 Blankity high schoolSkip: O I have a friend who goes ther Me: Kewl xD Skip: how old r u? ;3Me: 15 :3 wbu?Skip: 16 ;3
As you could very clearly tell with how hard we were flirting we kept talking for a few hours after that first encounter and a little bit each day (so romantic). Nothing seemed odd or off as far as I could tell at 15 so we talked for maybe a week at the most. I think I really liked him because I remember dying for him to ask me out, he finally did on that closest Friday. I bolted to my friend's house with a couple of bags of clothes and makeup.
On that night of this horrid excuse for a date he asked me if I wanted him to pick me up and I said no (thank God) that my friend and her boyfriend were going to drive me there. We decided on going to the movie theaters and on the way there my friend Ashley cracked jokes about how I should be nervous and he could be ugly and how funny that would be. I realized what a dumb idea the whole thing was and began to feel sick. We're driving into the parking lot and he sends me a message describing his car and his shirt and I'm looking around but I don't really see the guy I was talking to anywhere. It froze when it hit me that this dude my eyes passed across like twenty times was my actual f*cking date.
Teens are shallow, we all know this. I was shallow, but it really wasn't just that he was tall and a bit overweight, it wasn't just that he had a very disturbing orange tan, it wasn't just that he was missing at least 2 of his front teeth, but the fact that I was very obviously 15 years old and this "BOY" was quite easily 20-25 YEARS OLD. I can undoubtedly say that was my very first existential crisis.
He stood there smiling like a f*cking creep and I get out of Benny's car, suddenly aware that my dress might now be too short. He moves forward slightly and I walk up to him and smile, a bit of a side hug as well. The four of us introduce ourselves and start for the theater, trust me I really wanted to get back in to Benny's car and demand we drive home to Ashley's but at that time my self esteem was so low. I was so shy. We get tickets to see a Rated R movie, he pays so he had to have been 21 at least. Benny and Ashley get tickets for something else and tell us they'll sneak into our theater, they walk in slowly behind us and nobody stops them. I hang back and hiss "He isn't the same guy" to Ashley. She nods and whispers "I'll make sure he doesn't touch you." Benny sits on the far left, then Ashley, me, and then the old dude. I sit down, I squeeze myself as far away from him as possible while staying in the same seat but I was just about in Ashley's lap an hour in. I want to say we were watching one of the Jackass movies and the stupidity of it distracted me from the monstrosity that was on the right of me. Enough so, that I let out a giggle and he just HAD to be that guy and lean all the way across the country to whisper in my ear "You have a really cute laugh." I replied with a "thanks" and recoiled even further into my seat.
The movie finally ends and the four of us head out of the theater, I try to refrain myself from showing any sort of emotion because I still think there is a heart in me somewhere. As long as we are being honest though I was pretty taken aback by my situation and was becoming physically ill. I felt shaky, nervous, and a bit nauseated.
Right outside of the theater, my friend initiates her plot to humiliate me further and suggests we all get something to eat together. I know I said something that was pushing towards No, but Ashley and Skip weren't really accepting my answer. The two of them agree on In-N-Out (west coast area burger place), I f*cking love that place but I felt so sick to my stomach I wasn't even thinking of food. I feel myself zoning out when I hear Skip boy saying "You can go in my car with me if you want" in a quiet and gentle tone like he was still trying to win me over, he sounded just like one of those boys that say "M'lady" and "You deserve a nice guy like me." I shake my head and say "No, I'll just go in Benny's car."
Fast forward a few minutes and we are approaching my favorite fast food restaurant, Benny and Ashley order their meals first but I still have no clue what to say. "You don't have to get me anything, I'm not even hungry" I say something like.
He replies "Oh don't worry about it, the movie tickets were only $4."
Oh fantastic, "I'm just really not hungry."
And he says back "Are you sure? You can get whatever you want!"
I snap back, "YES. I am sure." I sit down at a booth hoping my friend will sit on my side but of course she does not. Ashley, Benny and good ol' Skip come and sit down.
Skip sits next to me and gives me a a cup for soda and says "Oh I didn't know if you wanted a soda or not."
"Oh thanks." I get some lemonade and wish it helps my stomach, come back and they're talking a little, he starts getting down on his food. I plant myself back down and look over at him and without a doubt in my mind this old man is having the time of his life, he truly thinks that this "date" is going phenomenally. I sip my lemonade, I feel sick and terrified. Skip finishes his meal in like 8 minutes and Benny looks up from his food in disbelief and suggests we leave, he insists he'll just finish his combo later.
I really don't know what happened after dinner. I'm sure we said our goodbyes, probably hugged for a second, and he left from there.
As soon as my head hit Ashley's pillow I had a text message from Skip.
S: I had a fun time tonight ur prettier in personS: I luved ur dress ;D
S: text me wen u get homeDelete messages.S: U probly went to sleep alredy srry. Gnite beatiful.Delete. I fall asleep. I wake up next morning. Another message.S: Good Mrning gorgous i had a dream bout u :D S: let me no when u wake up! <3delete. delete.
He texted me for weeks, every other day. I never replied. As you can imagine he was disgusted with how I handled things. The motherf*cker should have been grateful I hadn't reported him to the police.
I didn't know it was an option back then. Internet bullying, bullying, harassment, and "catfishing" weren't a well-known thing. No one reached out to me and told me what to do in these situations. I accidentally called him when I was in art class in high school and all I could hear were faint obscenities being shouted through my phone. I hung up with tears in my eyes, deleted his number but he called me back over and over. I blocked him on Facebook, on my phone and never heard another thing. I saw a vine of him that was going around when Vine was still a thing, so that was pretty crazy. I won't tell you which one it was cause that was #MyWorstDate.