Self-care doesn't always mean massages and shopping trips

A new concept that I've been hearing in my adult life – the act of self-caring – and a lot of times I hear that coupled with shopping trips or massages, and while those are nice (fantastic really in their ways), but that isn't always what self-care can look like.

I am more of a realist and couple that with being cheap and socially awkward – taking time out of my day for those would be hell for me.

Plus, we are living in the age of a pandemic, so each person may or may not want to expose themselves at this time.

What is self-care?

By definition, we do an intentional act to promote better growth through our mental, physical, and emotional state of mind. So, by that definition, it could mean many different things to many other people.

For me – self-care – means that I'm working on being kind to it. I've started to take up yoga again and find the time to shower regularly. (Hey, new mom here – and with a partner that is gone early in the mornings, it's hard to judge when to shower. Especially when the bathroom is on the same wall that the crib is on.) Or dare I even say it is splurging on watching cringe-worthy tv while I do the laundry in my bed. Or rest on top of the mountain of clothing. Either or?

Why is self-care so important?

Burn out is real. If you go too fast without taking time out for yourself every day, mundane things become a hassle. Life will suck just a little bit more. Plus, we always end up extra cranky. Both – you and your partner don't need that in an already stressful world.

Speaking as a new mom, if I don't take the time out for myself, I find that my relationship with my kiddo is affected. That is something that I don't want to happen because we planned for her to be here. I don't want her ever to feel like she is a burden on me.

It's true for any other person dealing with a lot on their plate (new parents, old parents, college kids, high school, actually anyone in this day in age.) I mean – we are in a freaking pandemic where many people have lost their jobs, their health insurance, homes, and other materials.

We need self-care more now than we ever needed it.

What does self-care look like?

Honestly, it is whatever it means to the person. Not everyone can go out and splurge on a shopping spree or massage. (Not hating if you can, seriously – you do you.) But I take it to mean the basic micro levels in a day. If you can – put off doing a task if it seems overwhelming (not forever, but a day won't hurt).

I cannot remember where I saw it, but someone in the group was stressing about washing their dishes because they put them off for days – and if they ran them through the dishwasher, they would have to do them twice. The counselor stated – "so, run them twice then." There are no rules when it comes to self-care. As long as you don't waste away in squalor, I guess?

Self-care can be as simple as getting up and making your bed for the day, a shower, and conditioning your hair. Eating a well-balanced diet – or simply eating something again. Depression / Anxiety or simple stressors cause us to develop crazy eating habits. So taking the time to put some love back into yourself with food might be good. (If you have challenges with food, please talk to a professional since they are more equipped to help out vs. myself.)

I am trying not to sweat the small stuff.

This really should go without saying, but we always need reminders. If you can put off doing the dishes at that very moment so you can take some time out of the day for yourself – then do it. Or laundry, for that matter. (Seriously, when did the laundry become a never-ending pile of doom?)

20 mins a day is an excellent start to a well-balanced, happier self. Meditate, do a 15-minute yoga. Eat that ice cream. Or – if you won't get that blasted massage and shopping spree.

Life's too short to sweat the small stuff. Make little micro self-care choices every day and see how you feel after the week.