Relationships:

It is you. You are the one I think about when I'm eating breakfast, and the one I think about before going to bed. All the countless times I pick up my phone praying your name will pop up on the screen, but it never does. I want to text you, but I'm too scared that you won't want to hear from me. We are young, I know, but what is age? Only a number.

When we went our separate ways, I always thought that we would still have a connection, but I guess love gets to our head sometimes. Talking every day became talking once a month, to not talking at all. I know you were crushed inside but so was I, and I couldn't live without knowing that you were okay. It's hard to say goodbye to someone when you shared things so personal with them that you had never shared with anyone else before. That person holds a treasure, a part of you that only the best get to see. It is only when your best friend leaves that you realize how vulnerable you were.

Vul·ner·a·bil·i·ty - Noun; the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally. The worst thing is when you had your guard up so long because you were scared of being hurt, and when you finally break the walls down, exactly what you were afraid of, happens. Letting go of the past is difficult when you feel like a part of you isn't complete. When someone scars you, it breaks your trust. Being able to trust someone becomes ten times harder, and you question every move, every moment, every word.

in hindsight, why did I leave? To be completely honest, I was terrified. I couldn't believe that someone actually could fall for me and care for me. It must be a trick, they must be messing with me. I didn't realize that his intentions were never wrong, and all he wanted was for me to be happy. My mind was a blur of emotions and thoughts, I couldn't think straight. There was so much pressure from all my friends, so many opinions, and suggestions. You once told me you would never hurt me, and at the time I didn't believe you because that's what everyone says. But you're different. There was never once when you weren't honest, loving, empathetic, and caring. That is what an ideal relationship looks like, doesn't it? I wish I could see how innocent you were and maybe then we could have been something extraordinary.

Here is to all the pain, growing up, making mistakes, and most of all, learning from them. We say that young love doesn't last, but I think that's what we learn from most. Experience is what makes our future relationships so much more enjoyable. You start to know what a relationship needs and doesn't need, as well as when to draw the line. The more personal and attached you get to a person, the more heartbreak you feel when it's all over. And I feel that dealing with heartbreak is a tough challenge, but a skill we should all have in our back pocket because you never know when life is going to throw you off your path, and knowing how you can feel better and deal with it will save you so much devastation.

How do you know you have gotten over someone? I don't think we humans ever "get over" someone fully. There is always going to be a part of us that belongs to a person if we want to admit it or not. Even if you feel that they dislike you to an extreme extent, there is a part of them that still cares about you. Even though things didn't turn out well, they still want to know that you are ok. When they said they would never hurt you, ask yourself what would they say if I asked for their help?

Our feelings change us and our behaviors. The core cause is fear. We fear that if we show how much we really care, then no one will respect us for who we are. We all need to show more empathy in our lives, that is a fact.