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Relationships

Sharing a Common Interest

By Nathonia SmithPublished 6 years ago 5 min read
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Relationships are known to blossom among two people when there is a common interest on a personal or professional level. At the beginning of employment, new employees develop an employer/employee relationship with their supervisors during the hours of operations of the company. Whether relationships are casual, personal, or professional, some of the most important elements of any relationship is communication, trust, and understanding between those involved. In formal or professional relationships, communication may be easier to initiate because it contributes to the success of the company and all the stakeholders involved.

By the time I met my now husband, I was at a point in my life where I felt as though I would be happier as a single parent. I was involved with a man older than my mother. And though it was not an issue for me in the beginning, it soon came to be. I had been introduced to this man, S.W., by a neighbor that I considered to be a friend because we shared a lot of common interests and we were both single moms. The first time I met S. W., and he smiled, I thought he was extremely handsome. Like any woman with 20/20 vision, this older man, with a bald-head and one gold tooth on one of his front, top teeth, had both good looks and sex appeal. I would continuously catch him staring at me, smiling, as though he had plans for me. I know it was curiosity that prompted me to say yes when he asked me out. As a relationship began blossoming between us, I realized S. W. was a sweet guy who was looking for the right woman he could settle down with. For weeks, I allowed S. W. to spend time with my children and me, creating a bond with my children and developing intimate feelings for me. It was during those weeks that I realized this was not a relationship that I was comfortable with because of the huge age difference between us. I knew I needed to talk to S. W. about my feelings before things got too serious with him. I just needed to figure out how to tell him without hurting his feelings.

One morning in early May 1994, after I had put my 6- year-old daughter on the Head-start bus, S. W. picked up my son and me so that I could use his car to run errands while it was still early. After driving back to his home, S. W. got out of the car and told me to go do what I had to do. As much as I appreciated his kindness and consideration, I felt wrong for using his car that day, knowing that I didn’t share the same feelings he had for me. But I had very important errands to run and taking the city transit bus would’ve taken too much time. So I drove away with my son to begin taking care of my errands.

I had no idea that running simple errands that day would change my life. I was making my second stop when I pulled up to a local business as part of my errands. At the time, my son was 3-years-old and was cranky about sitting in his car seat. By the time we stopped and got out of the car, my patience was growing really thin because he was whining, which was so unlike him. As I was closing the car door and fussing at my son for whining, a soft-spoken male’s voice asked him why he was crying. I looked up into the face of this nice-looking man, slim with nice biceps and wavy hair. My interests were not on meeting a new man because I was already in a relationship in which I was uncomfortable. Still, we introduced ourselves and carried on a brief conversation, long enough for him to give me his phone number to call whenever I was available. This man, G. S., had such a nice effect on my son, who instantly stopped whining and began smiling at him. I admit I was impressed, but decided to wait until I had ended the relationship with S. W. before calling G. S. After running errands that day, I decided to share my feelings with S. W. I could see disappointment in his face as I expressed my feelings to him. But he understood and assured me that we could always be friends. Initially, I felt bad after talking with S. W. because I knew his feelings were hurt. Then I realized that I would’ve been hurting both of us if I had continued the relationship knowing I wasn’t happy.

For three weeks I pondered the idea of calling G. S. because I didn’t want to rush into another relationship that I could end up regretting. Then, on the second day of the following month, I decided to give G. S. a call, as a potential friend. Surprisingly, he seemed so excited that I had finally called him. We talked for a while and I explained to him that I wasn’t trying to rush into another relationship until I was sure it was something I felt we both wanted. G. S. assured me that he understood my feelings because he had just gotten out of a similar situation. For the first few months we dated, sometimes including our children (my two and he had custody of two of his three children) and sometimes just the two of us. He always knew how to make me smile. Several months after meeting and dating G. S., I was in love with him and invited him to move in with us. He didn’t hesitate to say yes and moved in with us.

As with all romantic relationships, G. S. and I have experienced many good and bad times in our relationship. But, because of the strong feelings we share for each other, we have always found our way back to each other. 12 years after we met, when G. S. was no longer obligated to pay child support for his children, he asked me to marry him and I said yes. Despite the negative circumstances and issues that we have faced, our relationship has lasted for 24 years. 12 of those years have been in matrimony. Relationships between individuals may blossom quickly or gradually, depending on the situation. But it takes effort on the part of each person involved to maintain a successful relationship!

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About the Creator

Nathonia Smith

I am a wife, mother, grandmother, inventor and online published writer who recently completed studies at Ashford University earning a Bachelors Degree in Human Resource Management. Writing has always given me such joy and fulfillment.

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