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Rejection 101: How Men Can Handle Rejection, Get The Girl Of Their Dreams, And Become Extremely Confident

It's up to you

By Jonathan PeykarPublished 2 years ago 5 min read
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Photo by Cassie Lopez on Unsplash

Getting rejected by a girl can feel vicious for a man.

Girls ignore you when you approach them, ghost you after dates, tell you they aren't interested, etc. I've been through all of that shit in the past 10 years.

I got rejected by hundreds of women and learned enough painful lessons to fill up a free ebook called "Life Lessons From Getting Rejected By Hundreds Of Women".

I certainly got my ass kicked.

The following includes the biggest mindset shifts I had, crucial lessons, and truths which might be hard for some of you to swallow. If you stick with that guide and refer to it when needed, your dating life will dramatically change. This I can guarantee.

- DEFINING REJECTION -

I feel like the general interpretation for rejection simply means the other side isn't interested because of YOU. You did something wrong, you fucked up, you're not her type, your game is shit, stuff like that. I'll be honest. It might be true. Maybe you did fuck up somehow. Or maybe you did nothing wrong, and she's just not into you.

Re-defining rejection to fit reality

In reality, there are lots of variables which might come into play.

1. Your vibe was off- which affected the entire interaction/date, and she lost interest.

2. You gave up too soon when approaching- it wasn't even a rejection. You approached, started talking, ran out of things to say, and the conversation just turned cold.

3. She shit-tested you, and you didn't know how to respond- I wouldn't call it an exact science, but women do that. 

4. She wasn't even available- she's emotionally committed, seeing someone, dating, or whatever. 

5. She's not in the mood- she had a bad day or just feels terrible for some reason.

6. She's not into you- she simply doesn't feel it.

7. She's looking for something else- you went out on a date, and she found out you're not in the same headspace.

What rejection really is

Take a look at the list above. Some are under your control, and some aren't. There are probably many other reasons I just don't know about.

It matters not. Rejection is an opportunity to:

A. Learn from your mistakes

B. Become more resilant

C. Befriend reality and move on

That's all it is. Make it more than that, and you're complicating things and looking for trouble.

- THE ULTIMATE MINDSETS -

These are your best friends. Keep them in mind when shit hits the fan, and you feel like crap. Before any "actionable steps", having the right mindset is crucial here.

1. Not everyone is going to like you 

This is the best one. It's not an opinion- it's a simple truth. Do YOU like everyone you meet? Men or women? I bet not. No matter how "amazing" you'll become or develop a "great game", not every girl out there will be into you. When you take a second to think about it, you realize it makes a lot of sense.

2. You can't control the outcome

Surprise. Your pickup or dating GuRoO on Youtube told you it's possible to get any girl with a couple of simple steps. But guess what, this is a free world. People can do whatever the fuck they like, and they don't owe you any explanations. You can't control people. Thus, you can't control any outcome with women.

3. If you learned from it, it wasn't a mistake

I think it's a Zen teaching or something. In any area of life, you will make mistakes if you truly want to succeed. So things didn't work out the way you wanted. Whatever. All you can do is (gently) look back, see if and how you can do better next time, and move on. That's it.

4. She comes first

Seek to understand first, and only then to be understood. Put your attention into listening and appreciating her. By putting HER first, you can slowly build an environment where she feels comfortable with you. And comfort is everything when meeting women.

- TURNING REJECTION INTO SUCCESS -

This is the "how to" part. If you internalize the mindsets mentioned earlier, you're already on your way to improving.

1. Gently learning 

I want to be very cautious here. I'm not a psychologist. You are not one either. If you made a mistake in your professional life, for example, all you need to do is objectively look back, admit what you did wrong, and improve. Not here. Reality, after all, is subjective. Don't fall prey to being hard on yourself or start analyzing what happened from seven different angels. It leads to no good. Trust me.

If you realized what you did wrong, great. Improve next time. If not, either you did nothing wrong, and it was outside your control, or the penny will drop later. Either way- don't be hard on yourself because it can easily ruin you mentally. Relax, you'll get yourself another girl.

2. Figuring out the mistake you made

Was it something you said and maybe shouldn't have? Did you act like an idiot? Did you let her pay on the first date? Again, maybe you didn't make any mistake.

3. Implementing next time

I had times when I made the same mistakes again, again and again. Sometimes you subconsciously repeat your mistakes and then hit yourself for it later. What can you do. As long as you stay open minded, your consciousness WILL improve. Eventually, you'll grow out of it.

- THE ONLY ACCURATE INDICATOR OF PROGRESS -

It's not how many girls slept with. Or how many numbers you got last night. No. The sole indicator of your progress is if you care less about the outcome. If you care less about your "game", and the final result you get with each girl. It usually means you're emotionally developing.

Don't get wrong- it doesn't mean you don't care about the girl you're seeing. It simply means you've let go and not hung up on what happened with this or that specific girl.

Conclusion

Rejection is harsh but really is part of a growth process. You have to go through all the bullshit to succeed.

The end result will be well worth it, let me tell you.

Join my email list here to kick your anxieties in the ass and attract the girl of your dreams

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About the Creator

Jonathan Peykar

I write about relationships, life lessons, and self-improvement.

Get my free ebook, "Life Lessons From Getting Rejected by Hundreds Of Women"

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