Puerto Rican Girl Stuck in the middle.

I have been watching the news lately and hear a lot about the moments and racism, especially the racism that is going on in this country. I do not present that it does exist, but have my own take on it from my experience growing up. Unlike Caucasian and African America in this country, we Spanish people face racism differently. As an adult, all of my closest friends are African American and only as an adult and not by choice. You see growing a Spanish girl in American you are rejected by both, you are too dark to be accepted by Caucasians and too light to be accepted by African Americas.

I grew up in the ghetto or the hood as people call it, I went to schools that were predominantly African American and some that were a good mix. I was bullied for being a Spanish girl in some and for some reason to a lot of people associate all Spanish people with being Mexican. I have had gum thrown in my hair and called all kinds of names like wetback, spic, and mock for speaking Spanish. The worse was when I and my sibling got jumped coming home from a visit to my dad’s house. It was six girls all African American all over the age of 17 yrs. old. They even had a two year with them, we were sitting on the train talking among ourselves and when we hit 14th street in Manhattan to change over to take the train that brought us home. The oldest got in front of us and another on the side of each of us, I will never forget those words. “you Spanish bitch said my sister stinks” we look at each other and said no and try to keep walking. That when the oldest hit my sister from behind and the rest started to beat us up, kicking and punching and we had no idea why. We were 12 and 11 years old, they tried throwing us into the tracks as they hit us they all yelled “you stupid ugly spic” “ dumb Mexican bitches”. We kept getting up and running until we got to an area where this cop just happened to be walking by and called into the radio and put us in the police station that they have at 14th street. NO body helped us, we thought that we were going to die. They called my mother and it took her two hours to get there, she was upset and was yelling. By the time she got there they had gotten all six of them and were being held there until they were transfers to jail, the poor little boy that was with them was crying, we felt so bad for him. We knew that they were going to take him to the people, (meaning ACS) we could hear them laughing saying “ yeah we got them Spanish bitches”. When asked why they hit us they said because we don’t like Spanish girls so we beat them up, they are always trying to be black. I could not understand that, why if we all come from the same place and share somewhat of the same backgrounds. This was not the first or last time I had a face this in my life as an adult its a shame that you have people who think this way. Racism from Caucasian people came as an adult, I will never forget when I went to interview for Benjamin N. Cardozo School of Law. I was fresh out of college and just taken the LSATS and got a good average better than their requirements. I was so nervous, I walked into her office and she instantly looked me up and down and rolled her eyes. The first thing out of her mouth was “ why do you think you can make it into this or any other law school”. I told because I have the academic requirements as well as this is what I want to do with my life. She looked at me and said “you know law school does not follow affirmative action laws”, I said excuse me and she continues to say “ your kind usually does not do well in a law school setting”. I look at her and asked who did she think she was taking too in that manner and she stated really boldly “you”. First of all, you have children and a full-time job, I don’t see you making it past your first year. People who go to this school don’t usually take out a loan and don’t have to work to go to this school, they focus all of their attention on their studies. I looked at her and told thank you for your advice, but can I speak to someone else. She brought in a Caucasian man who was more interested in looking at me than hearing me out, so let just say that interview was a bust. This has been my experience with some of both races, I either am like or not like. I have faced this kind of treatment from other Spanish people as well, which I think is the silliest thing.

But guess what I never let it bother me, I am not in the habit of letting people tell me what I can and can not do. I don’t use it as an excuse as to why I can’t prosper in my life or career and fight harder. Some people say it shouldn’t have to be like that, well I choose to see it as it just makes me better. Life is too short to worry about where in the color spectrum do I fit , you either like me or you don’t. But you will respect me because that is what I demanded all the time. So when my daughter asks me I tell them that they should worry about what they can do to make this world a better place and not to worry about how others view them. I love my friends both black and white, and for those who don’t like me to each its own.