Paul R Johnson

From the Pathway to the Freeway

The sun rose over the mountain. I walked slowly over the dew stained grass. I could feel the dampness soaking through the skin of my sneakers and the grossness of my wet socks.

Still I walked down through the meadow.

There’s a massive rock down by the river. On mornings like this I like to climb up on it and soak in the heat of the sun.

This was my hiding place. So many times I have sat on this rock. Strange, that no one knows about it.

Is that the end, as far as it goes?

I think not!

The sun has climbed high in to the afternoon sky now.

Did I fall asleep in the heat of the day? I slide down off the side now, and start my migration back up the meadow, toward the cabin. It’s a beautiful little place, nestled back in the towering firs. If you didn’t know it was there you might never see it. That makes me smile. That’s just how I’ve always wanted it to be. Living off the grid. Far from the craziness of the city.

The rules and restrictions of the ruling governments. The craziness of the lockdowns and the healthcare bureaucracy.

There now I’ve gone and done it, Broken the serenity of the peacefulness of my hideaway in the mountains.

Can I ever go back there. Can I forget that our children live in the craziness of the world. Would I be so selfish as to leave them to fend for themselves in this world that is tearing itself apart?

Groceries, do We need to go get groceries? Wearing masks, standing in social distancing lines. I listen to the conversations around me. I feel the anger, as do so many others.

We don’t need groceries. We have the bare necessities.

I have my fishing rod and my rifles. We’re good.

How can I stay here and not see my Grandchildren.

It is all I can do to keep from vomiting every time I see the faces of the PM, the so called top doctor of the country. They try to justify their speeches. So disturbing to see the direction of our society. We need only to look at how the nazi’s started locking up people before the holocaust. The orders given to force people into government facilities.

Sounds like concentration camps to me.

Turn the news off. So angry am I now.

I look deep behind the visual signs. The mental breakdowns, the struggles, the anxiety, the depression the despair that the young generations have to bare.

Our society today has not taught them any skill to take care of themselves. Couch potatoes, and gamers. Where is their reality?

I got back into my cabin and close the door.

Thinking now, to myself, give a kid a tool, he learns to make a living. Give a kid a computer, he’s living in your basement!

My hunting knives are sharp. I sit on my chainsaw carved chair. My favourite knife in hand. I found a nice piece of Willow. I can whittle some little toy for the grand kids to play with, if they come.

This is my video game.

So glad the US election crap is over, and that non-leader is not leader there anymore. Such an idiot, who would have known he would move such a strong country backward into discrimination and hate. So much the past presidents moved the country forward, to have such a man as this undo the forward movements and go back to the days of the civil wars of their country.

I get up now and stoke the wood stove. Another couple pieces of wood on the fire.

I’m going to make a pot of coffee. Take my mind off of the world. My world is much more peaceful.

I have some fresh moose meat, and vegetables in the rot cellar. I’m going to make a hearty pot of stew. I like to mix all the goodness together bring it to a healthy boil then take it off the stove to cool. I’ll leave it overnight for all the flavours to meld together.

Tomorrow, I’ll let it simmer all day and then have it for supper, with homemade biscuits, nothing better!

The sooner we go to bed, the sooner we get to tomorrow.

I turned on the radio. My mistake, they were talking about some new band with a new song. I’m pretty open so I let it play. Whoa, what was that? There was no rhythm, a lot of banging on a couple guitars.

The words, what words, I didn’t understand anything they said, "run backward, open body, heart, girls dress, coded lion, stopped hurting... what was that?

Oh generation lost!

I go outside to the porch, my log bench swing, is making a gentle figure eight as it swings in the breeze.

I sit down there to break the pattern. Must have got a light sprinkle of rain overnight. Everything looks damper than usual. There is a fog hanging over the meadow this morning. Still it is so peaceful out here. No noise of the highway, or city streets.

I hold a nice hot cup of coffee with both hands, and gently float on the swing.

The rest of the world can crash and burn around me. Would I even know?

Would I even care? Except for my children, family and friends, probably not!

It is a good 2 hour drive down off these foothills, into town. We need a grand baby fix, so I’ll prepare for the trip down to visit them one more time.

The weather is turning cold these days now. Late October is a time of indecision for Mother Nature. She can give us days that make us dread the coming winter months. I have seen her sons Old Man Winter, and Jack Frost come visit, in months when they should have been tending their properties in the far north. Don’t they know they should not leave their pets, the musk.ox, the polar bear, the whale, walrus and Siberian tiger, they require constant attention. Her sons can be nasty when they want to be, one fall a few years ago, they were here early and were in some kind of mood. Jack came first unexpectedly and his breath alone killed off plants everywhere. The only good that came from his visit was that the swarms of mosquitoes and noseeums froze in mid flight and fell to the ground like grains of sand.

A few days later his big brother showed up on the polar express, and his breath of the north wind blew in like 35 centimetres of heavy wet snow. That pretty much shut down everything. The roads were impassable, trees were weighted down and many broke under the strain. Power lines and street lights failed under the weight of the snow. There was chaos and destruction everywhere.

But on the other hand, she may portray, beautiful days of tolerable weather. Warm sunny days, beautiful scenes, and breathtaking sunrises and sunsets. Today is going to be one of those days.

I have this little black notebook, that I have had it for many years. I got as a Christmas gift from my step son the first year we met.

I made a few notes in it and laid it on the side table. I stared at it for a few minutes.

Thinking, “you know you have many journals that you have written in and they seem to fill up real quickly. What is it about this one, that it has been with me for so long and the page marker ribbons are only halfway through.” I ponder for a moment longer, then walk back into the cabin. I have things to do to be ready for the trip into town.

My travel mug full of fresh brewed coffee for the road, my little black book now tucked in my Day pack, We stroll down the path to my truck. Thinking, from the pathway to the goat trail, to the dirt track through the woods then onto the logging road that leads me onto the rugged back road that takes me to the county road that leads to the secondary road that will take me to the highway that takes me to the freeway that puts me in the city.

I’m tired already and I’m just getting to my truck now. Finally, now I’m on the asphalt, in twenty minutes I’ll be on the freeway, four lanes, I can crack this Chevy open, the best part of the drive.

There’s my grand baby, smiling ear to ear now. I can barely get my shoes off, she’s trying to leap out of moms arms, she knows her grandpa, for sure.

Great visit, said our goodbyes to the baby, as she goes down for her nap. Good time to get on the road back to the bush. The drive was relaxing and uneventful full. My wife sits watching me as I drive. I am not a talker so the long periods of silence sometimes makes her wonder about me. But we have been together long enough now that it’s ok. She listens to the tunes and plays on her phone.

Last stop for gas before we get off the asphalt and head up the gravel road to the cabin in the trees.

I am not too much on gambling but just for a change, maybe I’ll pick up a lottery ticket. I tucked it in the pages of my little black book.

Carrying on the last mile up this rough goat trail to the pathway to my doorstep.

The smell of slow cooked pot of moose stew.

The biscuits are coming out of the oven now, I’m salivating so bad now, I’m sorry, I can’t even talk. Can't wait. A big glass of water, I’m ok again.

Oh, I ate too much, but it was so good. Got to go lay down.

Woke up to a dusting of snow this morning.

My daily stroll down to my favourite meditation rock. It’s chilly this morning but the sun still has some heat in it. I sit for a little bit, my butt is getting cold now.

I’ll make my way back up to the cabin.

Was I really gone that long? That’s how meditation works. It’s now early afternoon.

My wife was listening to her favourite radio station. She was writing on a slip of paper when I walked in the door. She said,"you know the draw for the lottery ticket you bought, well they're having 5 extra $20,000 draws on top of the one million dollar draw". That's cool.

I stoked up the stove and set the stew pot on to heat up. Stew for supper again. It will heat up slowly. That's ok I can deal with that.

We sit out on the porch swing after supper watching the sunset.

A cow moose and her calf walk out of the brush and eat leaves off of the willows at the edge of the meadow. Without a sound we sip our tea and watch them as they meander along the edge of the trees. It's dark enough now that we can barely make them out, so we head inside.

Before we head off to bed, she hands me the paper she wrote on. She said'" I jotted down those winning numbers they announced on the radio this afternoon".

06, 12, 17 28, 30, 41.....one million dollars

03, 12, 14, 22, 33, 48.....$20,000.

I slipped the paper inside the pages of my little black book.

"Did You win"? she asked.

"I don't know yet."

We went to bed.