Pandemic Truths.

As we approach a potential end to the third lockdown here in England, I have been reflecting on everything that I have experienced, the aspects of my life that have changed, and the lessons that will stay with me for the rest of my life.

When the first lockdown began, I found myself feeling surprisingly smug. I am an introvert who cherishes my hobbies and my quiet time, I enjoy my hours crocheting or talking to my fiancé and enjoying awful Hallmark movies on Netflix. Staying inside my house was something that took little adjustment and presented no threat to my mental health. But now that we've entered our second year under these precautions and new laws, I feel a lot less smug, a lot more jealous, and a lot more depressed. And that is the unfortunate reality for millions of people across the globe.

An unpredictable source of my newfound jealousy has come from couples who have been able to isolate together during this time. And although I envy them, I am happy for them. It is simply a situation that I wish I could be in. Being in a long-distance relationship meant that, initially, we had very little to adjust to. We were already used to the months of not being able to see each other, hours spent on the phone, and having to get creative when it came to entertaining ourselves, and this was echoed by my partner. But to an extent, the novelty of international romance is wearing off. The smugness that I'd felt was partially attributed to the fact that we knew we could get through this, we'd already been doing this for years, facing the uncertainty and knowledge that it may be a while before we saw each other in person.

The truth is that it has been harder than I could ever have predicted. Although my fiancé and I are still going strong and are as happy as can be, we still have the realities of life to face. Twice I have already rescheduled flights (Which is essential, and we would never make that journey knowing we could endanger someone else's life.) and I suspect I will have to cancel my summer flights also. This is one of the hardest situations to cope with. The uncertainty of our next face-to-face meeting makes it incredibly hard to stay positive. This was reflected when I spoke to two of our closest friends, who are also stuck in the same position that we are.

Kate and Karly are living long-distance in Wales and Belgium, and they are our go-to for support, we're experiencing the same difficulties and heartache, so it made complete sense to ask their perspective on love during the pandemic.

Kate: "Thoughts about the future help me push forward but also fill me with anxiety, as the pandemic feels completely endless, but knowing some time I'll see her, hopefully this year if Covid allows, helps a hell of a lot to get by."

"Sometimes the tension is high, and we might end up having disagreements occasionally because of the tense and strained times. Being in an LDR during times like these, as you know, can be a killer, but you just have to be that little more trusting, honest, patient, and strong, not just together, but individually"

Karly: "Truthfully, my main coping mechanism is crying. But sharing how I feel with Kate helped a lot as it made me realize I wasn't the only one struggling even if we had other ways to show it. It also allowed Kate to reassure me when I felt really down. Especially during the Christmas period."

These are just a couple of the insights Kate & Karly provided me, and they echo what many other couples and families are going through during this time period. However, it is important to recognise other coping methods that can be applied.

My fiancé and I pass our time with routine and making plans to look forward to. Having nothing planned can really grind your days to a halt. We have movie, crafting, and cooking dates, we play games and talk on the phone for at LEAST 3 hours a day. This allows us to play a part in each other's daily lives and gives us something to focus on when we're feeling particularly low. Karly and Kate also relate to this, with them making their own plans and creating their own steady routine.

Kate: "Together we watch movies on Netflix, listen to music, play video games such as Rocket League and Animal Crossing and watch football games together as we both support City, so it's nice!"

Karly: "We also have some kind of nighttime routine so, we'll do a few things together every night, like reading, and rating our days. It allows us to have some kind of feedback about how the other one felt during the day and we talk about it if needed."

The pandemic has revealed so many life lessons, new perspectives and helped me to understand and appreciate aspects of my relationship that I had taken for granted. It will make my next trip that much more special and will help me to see the positives in day-to-day freedom and health that I didn't notice before. It has been a stark wake-up call for many of us, and perhaps it will be the beginning of a new, positive change.