On Writing Imagery

Imagine selling whatever it is you’re writing — so well — that the reader feels as though they’re getting away with an all-inclusive vacation, for free. Do you think you can do it?

Just pretend for a minute, that each and every word that you’ve written down is so carefully woven within the fabric of your work, and the finished product is so outrageously good, that it is sold almost immediately by every hawker at every street corner, in every major city, around the globe — and so, the whole of the English-speaking world suddenly hears about it — and they subscribe to you, or follow you, or do whatever it is they do, which makes you one of those overnight sensations.

Just imagine that! Imagine — it’s simply a ‘best-seller’ — don’t question it! In fact, it’s the best-seller the world has been waiting for, all these years. Indeed, it’s so damn entertaining, that, upon Dick and Jane having read whatever it is you’ve written down — it’s quickly shared, over and over … and over again; from the shores of Manhattan, all the way to the Rock of Gibraltar, it has spread across the Atlantic like a giant tsunami wave. Canada even heard about it, and they are above you, asleep.

So, let’s just add, that the whole of Oceania, and the ruling party of Ingsoc, are thus very pleased with your writing calibre. They praise and flatter you, and your email inbox no doubt implodes … with requests and invites; from the likes of celebrities to random ambassadors from around the world; and, perhaps even elite figures from these same countries oblige you (imagine they’re all lavishing you with offers to exotic tropical beach destinations, in exchange for a guest appearance); in fact, some diplomats even throw their passports at you. Oh yeah, I’m not even joking — passports with diplomatic immunity. They literally wrap the documents up in a sausage roll and chuck them at you like a hot potato. And they’ll be coming around to pick you up in their Gulf Stream G550, tomorrow. Not convinced? Well, you should be, because you’re just imagining right now, anyway.

I know you’re excited, from all this imagining, but we’re not quite done yet. So, just buckle down and imagine once more (and, by the way, there’s no harm in this exercise as positive affirmation and imagery are often used for goal setting), that you’ve written down such mind-blowing, original, and creative work — work so great, that, the printing presses from around the world suddenly need to vibrate like jackhammers (especially under the bare floors of all the office junkies in all the skyscrapers of Manhattan), as they run day and night, hour upon hour, twenty-four seven, in order to pump out a sufficient quantity of your work due to its profound success. It’s like that tale of Prometheus stealing fire, which Zeus himself heard about. From this one story alone you’re now able to kick back in your recliner (at that all-inclusive resort mentioned earlier), and put your feet up on a plush ottoman, in order to enjoy a selection of the finest English literature that you can get your hands on — and, you can now do that for the rest of your life. Wouldn’t that be swell?

But you're a ghostwriter. Fail! And fame isn’t your forté; but even so, it came upon you as a double hurricane hitting the shores of the Floridian peninsula in November… and somehow the paparazzi have gotten wind of the fact that you might be down in Florida (but you aren’t); but let's just say that they think you’re in Miami, for a holiday, in a Bentley, with rolled-up tinted windows (tinted jet black), and they’ve somehow managed to track you down (yes, the paparazzi have that level of power), and they’re even gaining on your Bentley, as we speak…

How many views do you think THAT level of ‘stalkership’ would require? I’m curious. How gosh-darn engaging would your story have to be, so as to cause a tectonic shift of that calibre on the seafloor? In fact, at the same time as this tsunami crosses the Atlantic, you can be sure that the seafloor suddenly opens up in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, and a plume of hot magma spews upwards out of the abyss and creates yet another Hawaiian island; but even so, even with this sensational news, your story (whatever it is) takes its rightful place up at the very top of the newspaper stack. Damn straight that that is some imagination.

But, don’t waste any more time. We’ve stopped imagining now, unfortunately. So go out there, and write it. I wish to see great work. I’ll be waiting right here, in anticipation. I’ll be sipping my morning coffee whilst in my recliner, waiting to read YOUR story. Best of luck!