On Watching Those Cheating-type Shows
You already knew, you hired the investigator.
Just once, when the host asks the victim, “Do you want to go and confront them right now?” I’d like them to say, “No.” It would probably never happen because the confrontation is their bread and butter. It’s what brings in the new viewers, and keeps the current ones watching. It’s what keeps them in shiny vans and security guys. And keeps the cameras rolling.
But in the cases where, say a guy is unemployed and the victim is working long hours to support him while he finds himself, which seems to be a lot of them…I’d like her to go back to their shared home, the one in her name alone, where she pays the bills and cancel his credit card, report her car as stolen, change the locks (might not be able to, since he HAS been living there), tell his friends and family that the engagement, relationship, marriage is over because he’s been cheating. Get the name of the person they are cheating with, if possible. Engage a lawyer to protect her rights. Because believe you me, he’d be doing these things to her.
He has a lot of time to cheat because you are trying hard to keep him happy; a man can lose faith when he has nothing to motivate him. In this case, however, he has lots of stuff to motivate him. He’s pursuing a new relationship, because you, in your long hours of work, are neglecting his physical needs. He’s taking a new love out, on your dime, so she can see what a catch he is. She doesn’t know that she’s the other woman, most women don’t want to be the "homewrecker," and he’ll keep that status away from her as long as he can. It may be true that there’s only enough blood to keep one brain working. If he was thinking, he’d realize that he should be keeping you happy, because you are financing his ass.
A man out for a new relationship has a lot of plates in the air. He’s doing more thinking hard than he ever has, in the beginning. Then, he can get complacent, and that’s what you want. Remember the terrible shock before you hired the investigator, and then when you saw the footage? Let him have some of that, it’ll be much sweeter if you’ve protected yourself.
Ideally, you should take a week of vacation, and do all the stuff you can to remove him from your life. Tell him you’re going to visit your mom, or that you have training. Plant cameras in the home, especially if it’s solely in your name. A picture is worth a thousand words, and if there’s a divorce coming it doesn’t hurt to be prepared.
So, go back to your shared abode and box up all of his stuff, and either keep it in a designated area or put it in storage and save him the key. Take his name off everything that you can, and monitor your bank account. You might want to actually go to the bank and make an account just for yourself, if—horrors—you have a shared account. If you do, keep some money in the account you leave for him, but don’t tell him. He’s finding himself and cheating on you.
Start separating yourself from him, because he’s already started, and you don’t want to be the one on television crying when he’s been caught.
Lest you think that I’m an angry, freshly cheated on woman, don’t. I’m married, been married to the same guy for over 33 years now and we are good. It’s just that these cheating shows make me angry, because the victim—male or female—is always so surprised when they shouldn’t be. They knew something was wrong, it was their idea to get an investigator.
Anyway, this is what I’d like to see on one of these shows. I think it would bring in a lot of viewers, and maybe make some people think before they ruined a relationship.