"Old Barns and Vintage Bottles"

She was reminded of him each time she passed an old barn, sitting off kilter, in its open pasture, the sight would bring her back to a time when life was an adventure! With him, it always was, she thought. And suddenly, she would sense him, as if he were there, as if he had never left her. And she felt safe and loved and whole.

He was her friend, her confidant, her safe place, where she could talk about all that was vulnerable within her...and she would be okay. Everything was right in the world back then. They didn't want much and they had very little and that was okay too.

They had shared long walks and many, many, heartfelt talks. And oh! How they had loved other people’s junk! The memories rushed in and filled her heart with a deep and raw hunger that she knew would never be satisfied, not in this lifetime. She longed to touch him to hear his voice and for just a moment share once again in his wonder!

With this thought, as if by magic, he was beside her, they were behind the old grange, digging in the dirt as they had so often, in search of treasures thrown out by those who had come many years before them. In what was once were those of yester-year had tossed the empty bottles that had held their spices, oils, tonics, perfumes, and medicinal goods, along with an abundance of various shaped bottles, that once held soda and spirits. To those who had tossed them out they were disposable, but for them they held unimaginable value.

Convinced they would someday unearth a treasure trove of highly sought-after vintage class or maybe even something of utmost value, a long-lost ring or coin? They would exclaim over each new find as they filled their carrier with bottles of various shades of brown, green, purple, and blue. Her favorite was the cobalt blue; these had once held medicinal tonic to treat any ailment. Occasionally, they would find a bottle with a label intact, and if they were really lucky, it held some of its original content.

She thought of her bottle of "Sloan's Liniment" that after all these years still decorated the top of her dresser and stood guard over her memories of him.

She hadn't realized that she had been sitting in front of the Old Barn for much longer than she intended. She knew she was going to be late, but she couldn't bring herself to leave him just yet. She found herself in the pasture, as she made her way to the barn. Once inside she could feel him all around her, if she could only touch him, how she hungered for what was and what should have been. She thought how different her life would have been had he been able to stay.

The pain was so deep and so raw, she cried out to him, uninhibited in her sorrow, just as she had in the past, she shared all of herself, expressing every un-met dream and how she loved him, oh how she loved him. She was unsure of how long she had sat there; it wasn't until she had no more tears to express that she began to climb the rickety ladder to the loft, "Don't worry, I've got you" she could swear she heard him say. She could see the hay and the open hay drop window and she stumbled in her quest to reach it. She sat there, and took in all that had been them.

By the end of most days, they would be sunburnt and exhausted, on occasion, soaked from head to toe, and still they looked forward to the best part of their day. In her mind’s eye she was young, her spirit free and unscathed, they were in love, and they were loving life! They would head out in his cherished white "69" Camaro, not to their homes, but in search of an old, abandoned barn, to explore as they made their way to it's hay loft.

She was there now…she could smell the old wood, the hay and him; she watched him as he examined every nook and cranny of the old barn, he was sure that homesteaders stashed their gold and other precious items in the old barns. He had yet to find any stashed treasures, but…she so wished he would. When he was satisfied that he had not overlooked any secret spot he would come to her. Just the two of them and their carrier, which held the bounty of the day.

Of like minds, they would check out each bottle and estimate it's value. To date all of their adventures had brought in a total of $157.00 in sales from the glass bottles they had un-earthed. And an additional $12.00 for a vintage can opener. But it really wasn't about making money, it was about the adventure, the treasure hunts and the time spent in the old barns; that had once stood tall and protective and now appeared to lean one way or another, so much so, that many of them left her feeling as if she blew on them, they would creak and sway and fold right to the ground.

How she loved her memories of them, when they had sat in the open lofts. the moonlight illuminating around them, the air crisp and fresh, she loved the smell of him, of earth, and the remnants of the day with a slight scent of cologne, which always made her snuggle a little closer. These were the memories she cherished most. Just the two of them, the barn, the loft, the moon, and the night, when time was of no concern, and everything was right.

She loved him, he was her soulmate, the one constant in her life, she could trust him with anything and if he committed to something he kept his word. He could trust her, as he had so many times with his innermost thoughts and dreams. It was this thought that brought her to reality!

He had promised her he would be there to pick her up, they had made plans to move together, into a home, he had obtained. He was to pick her up that afternoon!

This was the only promise he had ever broken...

It felt as if it was yesterday when the Angels had come and taken him home, leaving her with a life sentence, that even after 30-years she was not given a reprieve from the loneliness and the deep sorrow that over the years had become an accepted part of her soul. His memory had not faded, she still hungered for him; just as she had the day he left.

She was exhausted, her appointment was no longer a concern as she drifted off to sleep. She thought she could feel his familiar arms wrapped around her as he held her throughout her slumber, when she woke, he was gone.

She sat for a moment and observed the sun going down and thanked him for all she had experienced this day, as she gathered herself to leave, she thanked the Old Barn and all that had been before. After all, they had a special relationship, and she was honored to have been allowed in.

She stood and steadied herself before she started down the ladder from the loft. As she looked ahead, between the ladder rungs, she could not believe her eye's, no way! She thought, it can't be! But it was, right before her eyes, a Cobalt Blue Vintage Bottle, she reached for it, expecting it to fade away, after all, how could it be! But it was there solid to her touch, she grasped it, holding it tight, so not to drop it, she held it to her chest and wept as she made her way down the ladder.

She felt as if she was floating, she could not recall her steps to the car. The bottle, still clutched to her chest, was real she thought. She feared if she moved it from her chest, it would somehow fade to nothing. The tears flowed down her face, hot and sticky, and without regret...

As she slowly lowered her arm, she turned the bottle over, it was hard for her to focus through her tears as she looked for an imprint, she could just make out that it read "Treasure".