Oh, My Stars!

Well, surprise. The obsessive, slightly disorganized writer’s sun sign is the lovely Virgo. While the average Virgo is mistakenly thought of as well put-together and grounded, I am both and neither of these. See, what most don’t know about the zodiacs are that each person has three main rulings. There is the sun sign; the point of the year at which we are born, the rising sign; the point the sun was at upon which we entered this world, and the moon sign; the point the moon was located in the sky when we came to be. Each sign rules a significant part of our lives. While my sun sign is a Virgo, I feel as if I identify more with my moon sign; Libra.

I am an emotional being, so much so that I can feel the rain outside before I even look out the window. I am in tune with my surroundings and the emotions of those near me. Libra is a strong, but emotional sign when it comes to the sympathies of others. Whereas my Virgo tendencies lead me to a level headed state, my Libra influences conjure convoluted emotional responses to my everyday life; what should be easy is suddenly confusing. However, these Libra influences also encourage a, in my opinion, less healthy attachment to others. Once I find a person for me, I stick with that person. Where that can be heartfelt and meaningful at first, it means my personality combines with that of my partner. I lose parts of myself to others, and am left thinking of who I was before. Combined with my level-headed Virgo influences, my mind is a formulation for anxiety. I am built to tear myself apart through these emotional features. Along with this anxiety is a pull to receive approval from others. I am a convoluted, confusing mess of emotions. Despite what my zodiac says and whether others believe it to be true, I find my zodiac to be painfully accurate; I am full of anxieties, depression, and emotion.

My rising sign is in Capricorn and definitely relates to my imposter syndrome. More often than not, I feel undeserving or removed from my own accomplishments. I ask if I deserve what I am given and if I am even good enough to receive. My focus is always on the future and my own financial security, as well as health. I struggle to allow myself to live in the moment and embrace the everyday life I live. Whereas I do focus on the future, that means I am sufficient and smart when it comes to making plans for the future. Despite my anxiety about what is to come, I still thrive in my success— even if I feel as if I do not deserve it.

My strange combination of zodiac signs does a decent job of describing the emotional journeys I have explored while growing. I am a petri dish of mental illnesses and insecurities. Although through writing, I have found my niche upon which I can have confidence. I now know what I am good at and what I can achieve through creativity. The zodiac signs like to point out flaws in everyday life, leaving one to only assume the worst in themselves. But what does my zodiac say about my positive traits, such as creativity?

According to my Capricorn ascendent, I am indeed dependable and responsible; the typical first child that is forced to take the place of a third parent. Where it can be seen as a negative trait, I find it reassuring knowing I am more independent and capable due to these qualities. My libra moon rules my caring senses for others, as well as perfect social manner. I adapt to the person upon which I am talking. As told from others, I can be quite charming while also a heartfelt listener. Lastly, according to my Virgo sun, I am respectable and a hard worker. Looks like some traits just naturally intertwine between signs.

I find myself mostly believing in the traits my zodiac portrays to me. Most do not understand how the zodiac works and that we are ruled by placements of our signs in certain houses. Each house rules a place in our life, for better or worse. I find that these signs have been accurate to who I am and how I have become this current person. Even if I cannot fully explain why the zodiac works as it does, I appreciate its ability to question who I am. Once I sit in thought, I see how these traits rule my life, but also how they free me to explore the world through unique eyes.