Obsession or Love?

There is a difference between being in love with someone and being obsessed. Sometimes the line that divides them can become blurred and it can become hard to tell the difference. However, obsessions can become serious issues if not recognized and dealt with right away. Things can spiral out of control and it can turn into a volatile situation quickly. In today's society we have become very obsessed with relationships and how they are handled. With the implement of all the electronics, stalking has become a huge issue. When is that line is crossed between, "I love you and I'm worried," into "I am obsessed?" Maybe through a careful look at what love is and the right way to show it, we can start to see exactly where we stand in our relationships.

Today's society is very fast paced. People move in together very quickly due to economics, work schedules and time you’re able to spend together. People are working longer hours, don't have much time to spend on dating and they also don't have much extra money. Instead of taking the time to court people, we are meeting, clicking and it's an automatic "I want to be around you more" situation. It seems like we are all looking for a way to ease a number of tensions in our lives. We combined households, relieve loneliness, financial and household burdens, including daycare sometimes. We don't have to go out to spend time together or even travel any distance to get there. Unfortunately, it also means we aren't getting to know each other very well until we are already in a combined situation. These days it is the way some obsessions begin. We are not giving ourselves enough time to actually "fall" in love with someone. I do believe in "love at first sight" but it is still done by knowing someone. There is the initial attraction, then there is being able to see and connect with the person themselves, not just the outside. That is what brings us to the actual love part. It's the connection with the inner self, not the outside. If you are only connected with someone's body, sexually, then it's lust, not love. It is that lust that drives people to obsession.

These days most people’s social lives are electronic. We get on Facebook, twitter, snapchat, cell phones and other electronics to keep in touch with our worlds. It's quicker, we can link our accounts, mass send and we are done with communication a lot quicker. Unfortunately, we are not venturing out as a means to meet people or gain human connection either. We surf pictures. We send messages. We are not connected with the actual person. I have to admit for me online is easy because I can think about the words I use, delete and retype if I don't like the way I said something. But unfortunately, so can the other person. In person social interaction is completely different. You don't have as much time to think about your answers and you can see someone’s reaction. Face-time, Skype and videos can give you a bit of this but people still have the opportunity to turn their heads, walk off screen and sit in cafes, other rooms; you still can't be sure that the person you’re talking to is really being who they are. We are keeping people at a distance. We aren't allowing them to see who we are, and we can create alternate personalities, profiles and check up on the other person anytime we want. We can hack accounts, read their mail, see who they are interacting with. It has become so simple to track people that it's becomes a boredom obsession. We have to learn to put ourselves in "virtual check" and realize that it isn't a real world. Words are losing meaning online, people aren't always saying something real. They are misunderstood, and it leads to pain and obsession. We need to learn to turn the electronics off and talk out loud. We need to step back and feel from our hearts, not our finger tips.

Loving the right way comes from understanding, knowing and connecting with the person we love. Obsessions with electronics, surfing the net and social interaction online has to be controlled. "Virtual check" needs to be done on a constant basis. Make sure that if your communication over text, chat or messaging isn't over the top. Wait for people to answer, if you’re constantly hitting their profiles to see where they are or what they are doing, and you’re not connecting in person, they aren't answering and it's turning into a completely electronic relationship, then maybe you need that "virtual check." Step back, re-evaluate it and take note of how much "in person" time you’re actually getting. Electronic communication has helped a lot of people in certain situations communicate, but it has also caused us to not communicate in person when we can.

I sincerely hope that this article has helped you take a look at the line between love and obsession. We all tend to seek a way out of loneliness and tension but it's important to look are our reasons, see how we are handling it and be able to discern whether we are taking permanent steps to improve or just making it worse. If you have any questions or comments you can leave them in the area below or email me at [email protected] or find me on Twitter or Facebook.