New Year, New Ring?

Twenty-twenty has been a year of self-discovery to say the least. I'm in my mid-thirties, still not sure how I got here but here I am! I've had quite a few partners in my lifetime because marriage has never been a realistic goal of mine. I was in a "quarantine relationship" that ended abruptly, since my partner went back to his home state. This left me interrupted and I found myself single again but not just single, alone. I'm still new to this big city, I have no family or close friends here. As I write this, I sit here thinking of all the ways I've passed the time since he left... Too much social media, a fitness boot camp, not enough time meditating. I like goals, I like reaching them even more but it seems impossible for me to plan with someone else in mind. I've seen two zoom, livestream weddings this year and I still can't quite see myself in the white dress saying "I do" to the love of my life. It seems like an unattainable goal for me. Last week, after my second livestream wedding, I decided that I'm going to get married... To myself. I've even started writing my vows and chose a song. I look forward to my ceremony. It took me about 5 days to decide on a ring that felt like me. I've worked with brides as a bridal stylist and my Mom loves being a bride (third time's the charm) so I'm familiar with wedding rituals. Let's put it this way, I could never commit to anyone without first committing to myself. This New Years, I will be making my first ever commitment. I will commit to celibacy until I find "the one." The One will then replace my celibacy ring with an engagement ring and I hope to one day be ready for the commitment to someone else for a lifetime of togetherness. In the meantime, here's to a new year of self-love and commitment to myself. My ring has the citrine gemstone signifying personal will, joy, abundance, success and most importantly, happiness. Black Spinel is a protective stone that repels negativity and grounds the user while evoking inspiration and empowerment. It is also thought to help one find calmness and let go of resentments to re-establish relationships and dispel sadness. I wish I could explain the instant feeling of "YES" when I laid eyes on my ring. I wanted to be a boho-style ring girl so badly but I couldn't choose one. I finally got a taste of how brides actually feel about the ring. What better way to celebrate a rather uncertain year and what is to come! A commitment to being my own source of happiness, protection and re-establishing a relationship with myself. New year, new ring, new me, I do!