The anthem heard more often than not is to never change. Whether it’s I won’t ever change who I am or I’m always going to be this way no matter what, paired with a like or leave it attitude. You hear it everywhere. In popular songs or on tv, the phrase seems almost inescapable. The trend is almost all-consuming.
I am guilty of being consumed by this attitude on life once upon a time in Hollywood Las Vegas.
I used to think I would never change the person I was. Not for anybody because I was the greatest thing in the world just the way I was. Except, that kind of attitude is extra naive. There is a difference between being confident and being cocky. I don’t care who you are, chances are you still have something left to learn. Turns out, I knew next to nothing even though I thought I knew everything. I get a good laugh at my younger self quite often.
The whole point of life is to grow, to grow you need to allow change to take place. Whether that change is environmental or personal-it still needs to happen. The thought of being stuck in the same situation, with the same people, as the same person scares the shit out of me. If I was still the person I was ten years ago, because I refused to change who I was, I would be exponentially unhappy.
I changed my mind. I changed the way I perceived situations-and people. I changed my expectations for personal relationships and what I wanted in my life. I changed, and it was the best decision. My change opened my mind to the bigger picture of life. The things that matter and the things that do not. Overall, my willingness to change set me free.
My insecurities are fewer because I don’t care if everyone likes me-because I don’t like everyone, and that’s fair. Versus, the me hanging out of windows of moving cars-screaming, “I’m never gonna change who I am”-pretending to be the most confident person in the room. When really, I was dying inside. My life experiences have humbled me to the point of no return. We are supposed to change. We are supposed to learn. Whether from mistakes or experience, it’s all supposed to happen. Free yourself and blossom.
Now, I’m not saying change like a chameleon in any given situation to the point where you do not even know who you are anymore. No, that’s not it. I’m saying to allow yourself to grow in life, as it goes on as it does, embrace the change of your maturity. Do not let your stubbornness win by hanging on to naive thoughts that once ruled your life. Make educated decisions based on life experiences and just-go with the flow. Don’t think evolution makes you flimsy in your beliefs. Know that it makes you powerful in your growth.
Let go of the things that are not working for you. When you let things go you have room to grow! Disappointment is sometimes inevitable but that does not mean better things won’t be in your future. Sometimes, it is not everyone else who is the problem. Sometimes, we are the problem. Always a hard pill to swallow, but it doesn’t have to be the end of everything. Open yourself up to the possibility of making a change. That change may bring you the happiness you have been looking for. Or the opportunities you have been hoping for.
If you catch yourself Asking why does this always happen to me? Maybe there is a lesson you aren’t learning in life. I believe we walk in the same circles until we learn a necessary lesson in life. You have to be able to stop and figure out what the problem is and be willing to make the change that allows you to move forward. Sometimes that change is internal and sometimes it’s not. Either way, the change necessary to move forward and grow into a better version of yourself.
So a better saying, instead of the iconic never change, is to never stop growing. Never stop learning. Never stop pushing yourself for a deeper understanding of not only you, but the world around you as well. There is always more. Do not be afraid to find it.