My Trouble Dating As A Transman
Single Forever?
Trigger Warning: LGBT Dating, Cheating, Abuse
I'm a 33 year old man. Transman that is. I believe myself to be that guy who sits alone at the bar. I'm afraid to approach women because I'm not sure what to say.
I was married to a bisexual female and she kept chasing biological men. Not only did she cheat on me constantly, but she was mean. She would scream, yell, and constantly put me down sexually because I couldn't please her the way she wanted to.
Well, It really came down to her wanting a baby. That, I couldn't give her. We tried to go to the doctor, but they all said she wouldn't be able to have kids. But she wanted to try anyway. We went through the doctor only for the pregnancy test to be negative.
After that, the doctor's office closed down. She figured she has to do it naturally. Maybe I was being selfish that I wanted my wife to go through another doctor with me, but it was really hard for her to see all our friends getting pregnant and having kids because they are with biological men.
That's when her boyfriend came along. Yup, boyfriend, as we were married. She even moved him in because he was homeless. Yes, homeless. Well, on top of that he was an alcoholic. I was so embarrassed. I couldn't please my wife, so she went elsewhere.
The story continues, he taught her how to shoplift. She picked up smoking cigarettes, which rotted a tooth and it came out. They got caught shoplifting and he got locked up. She got off because she had a clean record.
I was hoping that was the end of it. The court told her to leave him in her past and move forward. That he wasn't a good guy. I went home with her hopeful. Talking about marriage therapy.
But she continuously called his bestfriend to get her boyfriend out of jail. Of course he kept hanging up on her. That's when I had enough and took her phone out of her hand and tossed on the floor in the car. I told her I was her husband and she needed to stop.
Long story short, she punched me in my head a few times and dropped me off on the side of the freeway. I walked a mile or so until my boss picked me up and took me home. I called my mother in law who told me, "You took care of and protected my daughter for 10 years. I will forever be grateful. It's time for you to be happy. It's time for you to walk away from my daughter."
I got the divorce and since then, the girls have come and gone. Biological men have all been the answer for them.
This where the problem is,
Lesbians don't want Transmen. They state, if they want a guy then they will be with a guy.
Gay men like men, but I'm into women
And when it comes to women, it's bi or pan women. These women have had men and have men friend zoned or exes and I always seem to get left for the one piece of anatomy I don't have.
It's a known fact that average looking men like me have a hard time on dating sites. Women on the other hand get lists and lists of men. I had my dating site for 4 months only to receive 6 likes. And these people are either stud lesbians who wanna just chat or older women.
I've tried the chat rooms on these sites and it's just talking about sports or just a bunch of men talking. Women are scarce.
Then when you are talking to a woman, what do you say? Where do you start? If you say the wrong thing, they are gone with no explanation. It could be that you're Christian, or city, or country, or anything simple that could be a turn off.
If you're here for dating tips, sorry, I don't have any. But if you have any tips for me, drop them below.
I guess I don't know how to be single. I feel numb, I feel detached, I feel unloved. I guess I don't know how to live life like a normal person.
Anyone else feel this?
About the Creator
Jasper Wolf
Founder/Owner of Howling Wolf Freelance Writing
Keep reading
More stories from Jasper Wolf and writers in Humans and other communities.
Why Do We Care How We Got Here?
The question that remains on everyone's minds is where did humans come from? Whether it's creation or apes, why do we care? Naturally, we don't see apes in their final stages of becoming humans. Although we see humans that could be becoming apes by how much hair has covered their body (just a joke), but why do we care?
By Jasper Wolf3 years ago in Humans
"Directing Light: The Effect of a Sort Stranger"
In the clamoring city of New York, where the roads murmur with the mood of life and the high rises go after the sky, I had the joy of experiencing a genuinely striking individual — an unrecognized yet truly great individual whose benevolence and liberality made a permanent imprint on my heart. It was a boiling summer day, and I ended up lost in the twisted labyrinth of tram burrows, my mind whirling with disarray and disappointment. As I remained on the stage, gripping my guide and attempting to get a handle on the tangled trap of train lines, a voice got through the turmoil. "Is it safe to say that you are lost, old buddy?" I went to see a man remaining close to me, his face endured with age yet his eyes sparkling with warmth and empathy. He presented himself as Sam, and at that time, I realize that I had experienced somebody extraordinary. With a delicate grin, Sam proposed to assist me with exploring the tram framework, directing me through the labyrinth of passages and stages easily. He shared accounts of his own undertakings in the city, offering useful tidbits and support en route. However, it wasn't simply Sam's information on the tram framework that intrigued me — it was his steadfast consideration and liberality of soul. In spite of the intense intensity and the hurrying around of the city, he got some margin to help an outsider out of luck, without anticipating anything consequently. As we rose up out of the tram burrows and ventured out into the brilliant daylight, I couldn't resist the opportunity to feel a feeling of appreciation wash over me. Sam had not just assisted me with tracking down my direction through the city — he had reestablished my confidence in humankind, helping me to remember the force of sympathy and the significance of loaning some assistance to those out of luck. In the long stretches of time that understood, I frequently ended up considering Sam and the effect he had made on my life. His straightforward thoughtful gesture had propelled me to show preemptive kindness, to search for chances to help other people in my own local area, and to move toward every day with an open heart and a readiness to have an effect. Also, however I might in all likelihood at no point ever see Sam in the future, his soul lives on in the recollections we shared and the examples he educated me. He was something beyond a supportive individual I met in passing — he was a brilliant illustration of the decency that exists on the planet, and an update that even amidst bedlam and vulnerability, graciousness has the ability to illuminate the most obscure of days. Soon after our experience, I made it a highlight copy Sam's consideration in my own life. I chipped in at neighborhood covers, offering dinners and friendship to those out of luck. I assisted older neighbors with their food and paid attention to their accounts with authentic premium and sympathy. What's more, each time I assisted somebody out of luck, I considered Sam and the effect he had made on my life. However, it wasn't simply my activities that changed — it was my point of view too. I started to see the world through Sam's eyes, perceiving the magnificence and humankind in each individual I experienced. I got some margin to grin at outsiders in the city, to offer uplifting statements to the people who required them, and to move toward every communication with an open heart and a readiness to interface. Also, as I kept on exploring the clamoring roads of New York City, I conveyed Sam's soul with me any place I went. His consideration had contacted my life in manners I would never have envisioned, and I realize that I would perpetually be appreciative for the brief yet significant experience we had shared. Eventually, Sam was something other than a supportive individual I had met — he was a directing light in a world that occasionally felt dull and questionable. He showed me that even amidst mayhem and disarray, there is dependably space for consideration, empathy, and liberality of soul. Also, for that, I will constantly be appreciative.
By Nameless writer2 days ago in Humans
Comments (1)
Hello 👋😄 I am a guy with transsexual experience as you... And just reading all this? I honestly feel for you bro... Now I want to teach you just how you created the reality you experienced... Law of attraction. You need to understand like attract like your soul is naturally The energy source of Love. 🙌👏🙏🙇 and Love, which is understood as the most powerful energy source in all of existence. And can never be contained artificially. See your soul is love this is why we want to feel good... Just in many cases, we often have placed a condition that must take effect before we feel worthy to just change how we feel... You have been punishing your poor soul that just wants to feel good... And therefore you have attracted more reasons to make you feel even worse... When someone treat you bad.... It's not about them... It could be someone else like them... It could be anyone on that negative frequency you are vibrating on... So before you go getting attached to the illusion of separation? It's not the identity of who's face did what to you... But what frequency are you vibrating on? That drew you; those kind of people into your present reality....