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My Trouble Dating As A Transman

Single Forever?

By J. RayPublished 5 months ago 3 min read

Trigger Warning: LGBT Dating, Cheating, Abuse

I'm a 33 year old man. Transman that is. I believe myself to be that guy who sits alone at the bar. I'm afraid to approach women because I'm not sure what to say.

I was married to a bisexual female and she kept chasing biological men. Not only did she cheat on me constantly, but she was mean. She would scream, yell, and constantly put me down sexually because I couldn't please her the way she wanted to.

Well, It really came down to her wanting a baby. That, I couldn't give her. We tried to go to the doctor, but they all said she wouldn't be able to have kids. But she wanted to try anyway. We went through the doctor only for the pregnancy test to be negative.

After that, the doctor's office closed down. She figured she has to do it naturally. Maybe I was being selfish that I wanted my wife to go through another doctor with me, but it was really hard for her to see all our friends getting pregnant and having kids because they are with biological men.

That's when her boyfriend came along. Yup, boyfriend, as we were married. She even moved him in because he was homeless. Yes, homeless. Well, on top of that he was an alcoholic. I was so embarrassed. I couldn't please my wife, so she went elsewhere.

The story continues, he taught her how to shoplift. She picked up smoking cigarettes, which rotted a tooth and it came out. They got caught shoplifting and he got locked up. She got off because she had a clean record.

I was hoping that was the end of it. The court told her to leave him in her past and move forward. That he wasn't a good guy. I went home with her hopeful. Talking about marriage therapy.

But she continuously called his bestfriend to get her boyfriend out of jail. Of course he kept hanging up on her. That's when I had enough and took her phone out of her hand and tossed on the floor in the car. I told her I was her husband and she needed to stop.

Long story short, she punched me in my head a few times and dropped me off on the side of the freeway. I walked a mile or so until my boss picked me up and took me home. I called my mother in law who told me, "You took care of and protected my daughter for 10 years. I will forever be grateful. It's time for you to be happy. It's time for you to walk away from my daughter."

I got the divorce and since then, the girls have come and gone. Biological men have all been the answer for them.

This where the problem is,

Lesbians don't want Transmen. They state, if they want a guy then they will be with a guy.

Gay men like men, but I'm into women

And when it comes to women, it's bi or pan women. These women have had men and have men friend zoned or exes and I always seem to get left for the one piece of anatomy I don't have.

It's a known fact that average looking men like me have a hard time on dating sites. Women on the other hand get lists and lists of men. I had my dating site for 4 months only to receive 6 likes. And these people are either stud lesbians who wanna just chat or older women.

I've tried the chat rooms on these sites and it's just talking about sports or just a bunch of men talking. Women are scarce.

Then when you are talking to a woman, what do you say? Where do you start? If you say the wrong thing, they are gone with no explanation. It could be that you're Christian, or city, or country, or anything simple that could be a turn off.

If you're here for dating tips, sorry, I don't have any. But if you have any tips for me, drop them below.

I guess I don't know how to be single. I feel numb, I feel detached, I feel unloved. I guess I don't know how to live life like a normal person.

Anyone else feel this?


About the Creator

J. Ray

Founder/Owner of Howling Wolf Freelance Writing

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  • Mazien4 months ago

    Hello 👋😄 I am a guy with transsexual experience as you... And just reading all this? I honestly feel for you bro... Now I want to teach you just how you created the reality you experienced... Law of attraction. You need to understand like attract like your soul is naturally The energy source of Love. 🙌👏🙏🙇 and Love, which is understood as the most powerful energy source in all of existence. And can never be contained artificially. See your soul is love this is why we want to feel good... Just in many cases, we often have placed a condition that must take effect before we feel worthy to just change how we feel... You have been punishing your poor soul that just wants to feel good... And therefore you have attracted more reasons to make you feel even worse... When someone treat you bad.... It's not about them... It could be someone else like them... It could be anyone on that negative frequency you are vibrating on... So before you go getting attached to the illusion of separation? It's not the identity of who's face did what to you... But what frequency are you vibrating on? That drew you; those kind of people into your present reality....

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