My Theory on Love

Love is the purest phenomenon on the face of the planet. It is what gives the expression of beauty. Over time, just like we have labeled life, humans have made love seem difficult and impossible. However, most of us barely know it. We are too busy being sacred of it. You can call it, "the fear of the unknown." From time to time, we suffer pain from what we thought was love and we get disappointed — an aftermath of high hopes that, as long as we feel good around someone, there's a shield protecting us from hurt.

It's important to understand that Love is one thing. So is pain, betrayal, disloyalty, dishonesty, and distrust. Therefore, equating Love to all these will only give the wrong idea. You see, Love is what I simply like to define as "perfect imperfection." As humans we are not perfect. However, we ought to love ourselves that way and accept that we are who we are and that is as perfect as it could be — a perfection that is birthed from a perspective of acceptance that one's self is imperfect, self love. When one is able to handle his or herself, then they are ready to take on the responsibility of accepting another's flaws and seeing the beauty.

Love is being in a very bad situation, but having peace — not having peace and accepting a bad situation. Using the previous analogy, allow me put it in the form of a relationship between two individuals: Love is, although both of you are not flawless or perfect, being able to feel pure warmth in your being together. It is not feeling pain and struggle in a flawless and perfect togetherness. You can't feel down loving someone, or your soul shouldn't be drained out when you say he or she loves you.

Love is forgiveness because there's no room for grudge or pain. You are too busy trying to spend this limited life holding on. Someone you love can hurt you, but the hurting you has nothing to do with them loving you. If your friend or lover doesn't deliberately hurt you, then you should know they are human and to be human is to commit unavoidable errors. In this case, love has nothing to do with the fact that we are human and mistakes are inevitable.

Every day, we hear of situations where one has gone behind their lovers back to lie with another. I am not talking about rape. I am saying deliberately going behind the one you claim you love to fondle with another, or friends throwing the golden staff of loyalty into mud. It is your lover's choice to give you a second chance because the truth is that one can fall in love again, and again, and again... as many times as they want, so there might be hope for renewal. However, after years of thoughts, my theory states that if you are deliberately hurting the one you claim to love, without considering their feelings, without hearing the wailing of their soul in your heart, without looking back at what made the spark and without your love reminding you of what you both have, then at that very moment of your action, you are no longer in love with them. You feel nothing, so they are not worth the fight.

As a human, you deliberately hurt the one you hate and in reverse try as much not to let your humanity make you hurt the one you love. We all know some mistakes are unavoidable and I wouldn't waste much time listing them, but as humans we all have common knowledge of what is done deliberately and what is done as a result of inevitability. Would one in his right sense pull a trigger on a child and the mass convict the error as not deliberate? But we all know that if a 2-year-old baby pulled a trigger on an adult, it would only be madness to convict the infant who has no sense of right and wrong. The infant has a made a mistake, but his mistake couldn't be avoided with his state of mind. The adult, on the other hand, had enough time until the moment of crime to rethink his actions. You see some mistakes made in life are innocent and meek like an infant. However, some are calculated and well-developed like the actions of an adult.

Love is birthed with innocent mistakes that can be overlooked. It doesn't hurt you. It helps you grow to understand and accept everyday the beauty of humanity (collateral beauty), example: a gardener prunes. If someone claims to love you while deliberately hurting you, they are lying and you shouldn't buy the lies, then go out on the street yelling love is pain, love is sad, when it is indeed a remedy to the evil around us.