My Marriage Is Falling Apart How Can I Save It (What To Do When Your Marriage Is Falling Apart)

When it suddenly hits you one day that things are not as they should be, and your marriage is falling apart, sit up and take notice - The warning signs are there for a reason, so do something about them! All you have to do is think back to the beginning of your married life together. Your and your spouse were so much in love then - wouldn't it be great if things could stay that way?

Good marriages don't simply happen. Yes, you are blissfully in love when you first get married, but to keep things that way, a lot of hard work is involved. You took vows on the day you got married, and promised to stick to them - have you? Marriage vows aren't just words that you say to each other, they are solemn vows that you promise to each other in full view of witnesses, so you need to stick to those vows as best you can.

Now, if your marriage is falling apart to such an extent that you and your spouse decide to separate, then things really are bad. There is obviously so much resentment between the two of you, that living together is almost impossible. There is however, a very positive side to this.

You might think that separation means that the next step is the divorce court. Well, not necessarily so. In fact, it could be just what you and your spouse need, to convince each other that you are meant to be together. For instance, in the beginning, being away from your spouse will be something of a relief.

All of a sudden you don't have those million and one little irritating things happen every day that are driving you absolutely insane! Your time is your own, and you can come and go as you please. You might even think to yourself that getting married might have been a big mistake after all.

However, after a little while, the resentment you were feeling has all but disappeared, and you start missing your spouse. You become ill, and wish that your spouse were there to sympathize with you. It's your birthday - no breakfast in bed, and no-one to share your birthday with - it hits you just how lonely you are without your spouse.

When your marriage is falling apart, go back in time a little - remember how you used to cherish each and everything about your spouse? So what's changed? Your spouse is the same person you got married to, so show your spouse how special he/she is to you, cherish the time you have together, and save your marriage.

What To Do When Your Marriage Is Falling Apart

Figuring out what to do when your marriage is falling apart can be a daunting task. There are definitely things you should and shouldn't do. I would like to share a few practical tips that will help you realize success in your quest to resuscitate and restore your marriage:

Truthfully Assess Yourself. This is where you have to come clean and recognize what things you have contributed that have damaged the relationship. Be ready to face your faults, admit them, and change them. This will be a very eye-opening exercise, if you will be completely honest with yourself. No one likes to admit when they're wrong, but until you do so, there will be no solutions to the problems. This is not the time to point out the faults and failures of your spouse. This is not about making excuses or justifying your actions. Playing the blame game here will absolutely de-rail any chance you have of salvaging your marriage. Being truthful with yourself is an absolute must, and crucial first step, in deciding what to do when your marriage is falling apart.

All Behavior is Motivated. No matter how negative, destructive and unreasonable a person may be, the truth of the matter is that there is a motivation behind that behavior. You need to critique your behavior that is causing a rift in your marriage and figure out the cause, or motivation, behind it. Often these motivations can be traced back many years, even to childhood. This is especially true with behavioral patterns and habits that are dysfunctional. Whatever they may be, it is time you find them and fix them before they completely ruin your marriage for good. This may require the help of a counselor or marriage counseling program to enable true and lasting success. There are some excellent on-line marriage, and relationship, courses that provide top-notch quality and advice. Fresh insight and new information will provide you with new ways of thinking. Don't shy away from getting outside help - saving your marriage may depend upon it.

Check Your Attitude. Have you fallen into a habit of negativity? There is nothing that will drag a relationship down harder and faster than a negative attitude. Negativity, if not countered, has the ability to suck the life out of your marriage. Are you plagued by the "cup half empty" syndrome? Do you have a habit of complaining and grumbling all the time? Is everyone and everything just not good enough for you? Are the words you speak discouraging and defeating to your spouse? If you do not keep a daily check on your attitudes, you can quickly develop hurtful and destructive tendencies that will ultimately ruin your marriage. Pondering what to do when your marriage is falling apart must include a comprehensive attitude check.

Improve Communication By:

Objective Listening. Don't presume you know what your spouse is trying to say or how they feel. Let them voice it and explain it. Many time we listen for only what we want to hear or for what will be beneficial for us to hear - this is subjective listening and if not corrected will aid in the demise of your relationship. You must learn to listen objectively or critically - if you don't you will likely miss the point your spouse is making, and communication will begin to break down.

Staying Away From Accusations. Considering what to do when your marriage is falling apart also necessitates what not to do. And accusing or blaming is definitely something you must not do if your are interested in saving your marriage. Even if it may be warranted, accusing your spouse of being the cause of all the problems will only add more fuel to the fire that is already devouring your marriage. Besides, it takes two to tango! You must take responsibility for your actions, or inactions, and stay away from pointing the finger.

Giving Compliments and Speaking Positive Affirmations. If you are questioning what to do when your marriage is falling apart, I can almost guarantee that you are not speaking near enough words of affection, support and encouragement into your spouses life. We are inundated daily with negativity and discouragement - in the news, at work, and far too often at home, with our spouse. But this cycle can be broken, and must be broken, if you are to salvage your marriage. You must make the effort to ensure that you speak words that will build your spouse up and encourage her/him. Refrain form letting any negativity escape your lips. If you don't have anything good or positive to say, then don't say anything at all!

As you continue to develop your strategy for what to do when your marriage is falling apart, meditate on this thought from Albert Einstein: "We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them."

It's all up to you! If you don't take this action to save your marriage, then who will?

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Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again. There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by, Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.