My Husband Wants A Divorce But Wants To Stay Friends (He Wants A Divorce But Wants To Be Friends)

I know that this is confusing and that it hurts. But when I was going through this, I found it best to try really hard not to focus on the perceived loss and instead to focus on the fact that if you carry this out correctly, it should actually improve your marriage.

Being a supportive listener and being invested in your spouse without any romantic motivations is a wonderful skill to have. Some of the most solid and fulfilling marriages that I have had the privilege of learning from are comprised of two people who are truly best friends.

Here is something else that is very important to understand. When your spouse is telling you that he needs you to be a friend to him, sometimes what he is really saying is that he doesn't feel heard or understood by you. Instead, he feels that you have some expectation or agenda that is keeping you from really understanding him or listening to him. This is important because it is giving you a solid clue about the motivations for the separation.

As far as how to be friend to your husband, start by looking at how you're a friend to everyone else. Think of your best friends. When you are around them, you're probably just there without any agenda. You are there because you like spending time with them and because they know you well and are fun to be around. You generally don't expect as much from your friends as you do with your spouse. The time spent with them is often laid back and without pressure. This may well be what your husband is asking for - time together where the pressure is greatly dialed down.

Also, when you're with your friends, you don't always talk about the difficult topics. You just want to enjoy your time together and things are rarely tense or heavy. This is the mood that you want to maintain with your husband.

People often tell me "it is going to be impossible to be my husband's friend. I see him as my husband not as a friend." I think it's fine to still see him as your husband as long as you can do this while stepping back and changing the tone of your time together.

You can have dinner with him without quizzing him on his mindset, his intention, and his feelings. You can talk about current events or other things for a while. You can enjoy spending time together without worrying so much about what it all means - because no one does this with their friends.

I understand that he is asking a lot from you. But I think that what he really means could be that he just wants you to back off on the pressure. He wants your time together to be a bit easier and casual - like an easy relationship. He doesn't want to be questioned about everything right away.

If the "friend" directive bothers you, then try to think about it another way. What your husband is really asking for is that you not make huge wifely demands of him while separated. He might just need you to listen instead of question for a while. He may be asking for support without a lot of expectations at first.

I think it's a good strategy to just tell yourself that you will try to keep things light and casual and adjust as you see his reaction. I know that it is difficult, but it is better than the alternative - to push so hard that he starts to avoid you or limit his time with you.

Learning How to Stop Divorce

If you would notice, a lot of marriages these days end up in divorce. The rate of such is constantly increasing and this is due to many different reasons. Thus, the number of couples seeking to learn how to stop divorce the earliest possible is also rising.

Knowing that the number of couples going for divorce is going up can be quite alarming. But it is also quite good to know that among these couples, there are still a lot who still want to save their marriage and avoid divorce.

Looking for ways to prevent divorce is apparently a much better approach than trying to solve the issue way too late. It would take small adjustments not only for a certain period of time but all throughout the marriage. That is the amount of time that is necessary if you want to know how to stop divorce.

Stopping divorce requires a healthy and proper communication between the couple. It is not just about talking with each other frequently. This is what most married couples believe. It would be good for couples to talk with each other about anything yet it is better if they can implement an effective communication between themselves particularly when they are at a disagreement. Also, it is important that they talk about the important things and not just talk for the sake of talking.

Commonly, when the conversation between the couple becomes hot and argumentative, there are wrong turns that they do. And when this happens, it only makes things become worse. The words they speak become hurtful instead of being resolving and kind. When any of them speak such tactless words, it may show signs of disrespectfulness which could lead to bigger challenges.

At any rate, you and your spouse have separate sets of beliefs, principles and perception. There are things you would agree on. There are also things you will not be in together for. That is why it is important that you respect each other and respect just what the other has to say.

The couple needs to accept that each of them is a dissimilar person from the other. Learning to have this awareness can help in dealing with perspective clash between them. The couple's main concern should not be on how to avoid the conflicts but on acquiring the skills needed for managing such conflicts.

It is impossible for couples to get along well with one another always and anytime, so it is better that they know how to deal with it. They must know how the little problems can be resolved. Remember not to leave the minor issues is one way of stopping divorce. Usually when small problems are allowed to slowly grow, they lead to major disasters.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage. To learn more visit: Steps to Save Your Marriage