How To Stop A Cheating Husband From Cheating (What To Do When Husband Won't Stop Cheating)

Every year, thousands of women seek information on how to stop cheating husbands. The pain, betrayal and embarrassment of a man who cannot remain faithful to you is almost too much to bear and you want to ensure it stops. Whether you stay married to the man is ultimately a decision you must make on your own, but before any of that, the cheating must stop.

1. Gather Evidence of the Cheating

First thing's first. You need more information about what is happening. You may feel like your husband is cheating, but how can you be sure? Fortunately, most men leave a mile wide trail of evidence to incriminate themselves.

This might include anything from receipts and phone records to actual physical evidence like a stray hair or an odd smell on his undershirt. These are things you'll need if you're going to ever confront him about what you fear. Gather as much evidence as you can, be thorough in your analysis and lay it out in a way that he cannot refute. The more cool and logical you take it, the easier it will be to stop his cheating.

2. Outline Clear Consequences of His Actions

The only way to truly stop his cheating is to show him that there will be substantial consequences for his actions. If he cheats on you, he may face divorce, loss of his home, loss of his children, and severe reduction of his income. Hopefully, the simple thought of losing you is enough to end his philandering ways, but in some instances it may not be.

3. Prepare a Calm, Ordered Confrontation

Once you've prepared your case, complete with the evidence against him and the consequences he will face, you need to confront him and let him know what he has coming. He needs to know that you are 100% sure of his infidelity, have evidence to back up your claims, and are ready to take action if he does not respond in the way you want.

You feel hurt and you feel angry and there will be a time to vent, but for now you need to get your information across so he understands the gravity of the situation.

4. Be Honest with Yourself About What You Want

Do you really want to continue a relationship based on lies and deceit? This is a question many women fail to ask. They neglect to sit down and ask themselves whether they really want that relationship to continue, regardless of the impact on the lives of them and their children. Do yourself a favor and take this step before you end up at a dead end you can't find your way back from.

When learning how to stop cheating husbands, make sure you spend nearly as much time determining what actions will serve you best. If you can be sure he will never again cheat on you, that the indiscretion was not a reflection of the state of your marriage, and you can learn to love him again, you might be able to salvage your marriage.

How to Heal the Hurt Caused by a Cheating Husband

The letters that I get from some of my readers really affect me because I know just how these women feel. I often hear comments like "I've never been so hurt or so devastated in my entire life," or "I don't think that I will ever feel happy or whole again," or "things can never be the same for me after this." I completely understand. Finding out that your husband has betrayed you in this way is like pulling the rug out from under the feet of what you thought was your life. You begin to ponder every thing that you thought you knew about your husband, yourself, and you marriage. You begin to question your judgment, your desirability, and your ability to ever trust again. But, I can tell you from personal experience that the hurt can eventually heal, whether you want to stay in the marriage or not. In the following article, I'll tell you how to begin the process toward healing.

Don't Make Rash Decisions Or Judgments Based On Fear Or Assumptions That May Not Be True: Often, the scary and negative feelings that we're experiencing as the result of the betrayal can cause us to act in ways that we may later regret. You very often need distance in order to make what are the best decisions for yourself (and no one else.) Tell your husband that you need some time to not be pressured and to process what is happening.

Many women will immediately decide they want a divorce only to regret this later. Or, they'll make assumptions that the affair is all their fault because they ignored the signs, let themselves go, and are no longer desirable. These things are not at all true. Often, women will use these untrue assumptions as the basis on which they paint themselves as the one who is to blame. They are not. You are not. No matter what the circumstances were, your husband chose to act as he did. There were other roads he could've followed and he did not. This can not and should not be blamed on you. Don't take this onto yourself. He is to blame here. And you should not allow his choice to make you change what you know about yourself.

When He Says It's Not You, It's Him - Believe Him: Men will often take one of two tactics when they are caught cheating. Either they'll tell the wife that the affair has nothing to do with her or they'll try to blame her and what she didn't do or didn't see. Only one of these is the truth. Men cheat as an attempt to feel better about themselves, to calm the doubts that reign in their head. They want to feel attractive, desirable, and powerful, but these feelings are elusive. This lies in their own low self esteem and their own self doubt. This is not something over which you have any control or responsibility.

The affair is an attempt to fix what's wrong with them, not what's wrong with you. So, don't allow this affair to wreck your self esteem. If anything, it should wreck his. He's the one who was looking for youth and vitality in the bottom of a metaphoric cracker jack box. This is no reason to allow his very questionable decision making to contribute to your questioning your attributes. In all actuality, you are the same person you were before the affair, it's your husband who is different.

Worry About What Works For You, Not What Others Feel You "Should" Do: Don't get caught up in what any one thinks. It doesn't matter what your husband wants you to do. It doesn't matter what your friends and family thinks you should do. What matters is what is the best course for you. What do you need to heal? What will make you feel stronger and better? Don't apologize if you want to save your marriage or if you want to walk away. Only you truly knows and have felt the history that you have with your husband. Only you can experience your feelings and process your needs. This is all about you. You have to live your own truth and walk your own path. You are the one who has to live with the decisions that you make. What turns out to be best for you and what you can ultimately live with is the only thing that really matters. Give yourself permission to be very selfish and self centered. You're healing and you shouldn't have to apologize for it. You have permission to do what ever is going to get through this.

Focusing On Self Preservation and Self Esteem: Often really healing from the pain of infidelity requires you to rebuild your self respect and your confidence. You can't be whole again if you secretly think that you're not good enough or weren't able to "keep" a man. Again, this is his fault, not yours but my telling you this is not going to do any good if you don't believe me.

The truth is, we women are often more cruel to ourselves than any third party could ever be. Our self talk would be abuse if someone else were saying it. We tell ourselves that we aren't good enough. That we're not really pretty or sexy. That we have flaws that someone is going to eventually figure out. That we're not enough. To really heal, you must stop this negative dialog with yourself. You must stop this negative loop of self hate. You are valuable and you matter. Put yourself at the top of your list and take care of who is really the most important person in your life - yourself.

You must know that you are worthwhile. Do whatever it takes to rebuilt your self confidence and self esteem. You can not receive love from others if you don't love yourself. You're never going to believe that your husband or someone else finds you sexy and attractive if deep down you think you're full of flaws. Here's a secret that I absolutely know to be true. Nothing is as a big a turn on to a man than a woman with confidence who knows, without a doubt, of her own worth. But, you mustn't do this for a man. You must do this for yourself.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage. To learn more visit: Steps to Save Your Marriage