My Husband Is Cold And Unaffectionate (When Your Husband Is Cold Towards You)

Intuitively, a woman knows that something must be going on when a man they love suddenly or gradually stops being affectionate with her. It's a big deal because we've been taught from a young age, that men are physical creatures and have a strong desire for sex and physical intimacy. And it's true. Men love being physically affectionate and intimate when they're in love.

Hence, if your husband has stopped being affectionate with you for some time now, all kinds of warning signals could be going off in your head. You may start to wonder:

• Is it because he's stressed?
• Is it because he's having an affair?
• Am I doing something wrong?
• Is he pulling away because he doesn't love me anymore?
• Do I need to be more sexy?
• What can I do to make him more affectionate?
• etc.

While all your thoughts are valid, the first thing you need to do right now, is to stop worrying. And here's why: A man feels like a failure when you are not happy.

You see, when you are feeling worried about your relationship, he senses this and feels it too. And if you're worried, it means you're not happy - and he ends up taking it very personally. He may intellectually understand that it's not his fault, but he still takes it as a reflection of how successful he is at making you a happy woman. And if he feels like he's failed you (and can't make you happy), this definitely does not put him in the mood to be affectionate with you. Because he's probably feeling really lousy about himself when you are worrying.

You might think that if he would just be affectionate with you, then you would cheer up. But it's really a chicken and egg thing. So, instead of waiting for him to start the ball rolling, just step up stop worrying first.

So what makes a man want to be affectionate with a woman?

A man wants to be affectionate with a woman whom he finds adorable. And it's so easy for women to get confused about this - because women often think that she needs to figure out what her man wants and likes, in order for him to find her adorable. But that's not it at all. Men are simple creatures. He just wants a woman who is happy, fun, light-hearted, positive, cheerful, uplifting. Someone who makes him feel good.

And of course you don't need to be chirpy all the time. But he hopes that you are happy most of the time.

Wouldn't you agree that it's so much more fun to be around a person who is naturally balanced and happy with their self? You wouldn't want to be around the man you love much if he was worried, grouchy or angry most of the time too, would you?

Bringing Back The Spark - 5 Secrets To Getting Your Husband To Adore You

If you are like most married women, the romance in your marriage has its ups and downs as time goes by. As you move together through the many changes that life brings, it is easy to forget to put each other first. If you are ready to win back his attention, first you need to understand what makes him tick.

Here are 5 secrets to getting him to adore you again:

Tip #1: Acknowledge his special value: Every man has a unique attribute, a special type of intelligence, or an area of expertise. You can bet that this is the thing about which your husband feels most proud. Why? Because your husband places a healthy portion of his own self-esteem on this value, silly as that may seem. In fact, most of what he says to you is simply him reminding you in different ways about this special value. By really listening to what he is saying and acknowledging his value directly, you will be amazed at how much he will start opening up to listen to you in return.

Tip #2: Quit making him shut down: Every husband has at least one or two things that make him seem to shut down or close up emotionally. Instead of being dismayed or trying to pry at the root of those things, it is better to let them lie. Learn what his shut-down triggers are and then learn to avoid them. If you are truly concerned about some deep issue he is facing, let him know you are concerned and ask if he would like to talk about it. But, if he does not want to, respect that and move on. Life is too short to always be trying to fix your husband. Avoid his triggers and enjoy happier times together.

Tip #3: Heed his "alone time beacon": Often, when a wife wants more attention from her husband, she will do whatever she can to get it: strike up a conversation, sit near him, or even nag him about being too quiet! During these times, you can bet that your husband is trying to send subtle signals that say "stay away - I need some alone time right now." It is a huge mistake to ignore those signals. Quite to the contrary, the secret to getting him to want to be around you is to actually let him have his alone time. Even encourage it. When you are feeling the need to spend time with him, arrange for a special get-together time after dinner and invite him to join you. By setting aside the time in advance, he will likely be much more responsive.

Tip #4: Be crystal clear about your feelings: You know the routine: you are feeling hurt or angry for some reason and you want him to guess your feelings and, even better, approach you about them. For 95% of men, this is just not going to happen. You must give up on this fantasy of wanting him to figure you out. Instead: choose the right time and express to him in a crystal clear way about what is bothering you. Avoid complaining. Rather, your sentence should go like this: "Honey, I am feeling hurt because of [fill in cause]. Is this a good time to talk about it?"

Tip #5: Show confidence in your looks: No discussion of marital relations is complete without mention of the physical side of the relationship. Regardless of the state of your sex life with your husband, being attracted to each other is the basis for any healthy marriage. Here is the formula for success: be confident in your face, your hair, your body and show it. Even on bad hair days, walk, talk, and sit in a way that says, "I am hot. I am attractive. Take it or leave it." Reason: confidence is extremely attractive to a man and he will adore you all the more for it.

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Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage. To learn more visit: Steps to Save Your Marriage