My Husband Filed For Divorce and I Don't Want It (My Husband Filed For Divorce I Want Him Back)

Say you come home from work one evening only to find your spouse packing to move out. He or she tells you that they've just filed for divorce without even talking the situation over with you. So what do you do? Do you scream out accusations and throw things? Do you run to your room for a good cry? Or do you decide to fight back the right way in the hopes of changing their mind? Obviously the choice is up to you, but there are definitely ways to go about remedying the situation that will work to your advantage.

You have to do whatever you're going to do quickly. There's no point to closeting yourself in your room and spending the next several days reveling in misery. Becoming proactive is going to help keep your spirits up and enable you to feel that you're actually doing something positive. You also want to present a positive face in order to convince your spouse that your marriage is worth saving. Even if the divorce proceedings have already been initiated, they can always be stopped if your spouse is in agreement. Legally there's nothing you can do to stop the divorce on your own.

Although you are feeling emotional on the inside, strive for calm, honest conversations with your spouse. You will need to convince them that you are really serious about working on your marriage and repairing the problems. You can't do that if you're moaning and crying or screaming your head off. Being calm shows the maturity level that is necessary if any marriage is going to be successful.

Listen to what your spouse has to say. There are reasons why he or she is even considering a divorce, and unless you're willing to listen to their side of the story and work on ways that you can settle your differences, you may as well just allow the divorce to happen. Don't accuse or try to place blame on others. Admit that you are only human but make sure they know that you are also 100% committed to fixing the problems and restoring your marriage.

Never try to make your spouse jealous by seeing someone else. Your husband or wife is entitled to your loyalty, and you'll never convince them you want to stay married by betraying this trust. Sitting on a bar stool talking to those around you while drowning your sorrows isn't a good idea, either. For companionship and advice, you may want to seek out couples you know who have been happily married and who will empathize with your desire to make your marriage work.

Convincing your spouse to work on your marriage may be easier than you think. Your significant other may have decided on divorce only because they could see no other way out of the difficulties. Convincing them that you seriously want to stay with the relationship can mean the difference between a solid marriage and divorce.

Steps You Must Take To Save Your Marriage - Even If Your Spouse Wants Out!

I am sure you may be familiar with the grim statistics about failed marriages. 45-50% of all marriages will end in divorce in the United States, and unfortunately this trend is becoming true of many countries around the world. But did you know that 60-65% of all second marriages end in divorce; and that when it comes to third marriages, the divorce rate goes up to 70-75%?

The point of all these alarming stats in this article is to confirm and affirm to you that a divorce is never the answer to a problem marriage, and that you are right in seeking to do everything in your power to try to save your marriage. But how can one person make it work if the other is not willing? It takes two to make a marriage work, doesn't it? That is why in this brief article I am going to share with you what you can do, starting today, to turn things around; even if the odds are stacked against you, and even if your spouse wants out.

There are many things that could cause a marriage to go bad and then from bad to worse. Obviously that list and the various combinations will just be too long to go through in this article. But I can guarantee you that 99% of all marital problems stem from some basic fundamental and underlying issues, and these are what I will go through now.

1). Be Aware of and in Control of Your Emotions!

Remember that your intense emotions or "feelings "are just a fleeting moment in the here and now and that they are mostly chemically induced. Emotions are powered by the release of adrenaline and are a specific physiological response or reactions to a particular mental event or series of events that are usually of short duration. In common terms, your mind could be telling you to react based on fight or flight reflexes and instincts. Do not let your mind play tricks on you, focus on the bigger picture, and remember that you love your spouse.

By the way, love is not all about an emotion or feeling. Love is a deliberate attitude or a state of mind that leads to action!

Dealing with emotions are the most difficult and complex aspect of the equation, but it can be the most detrimental in trying to save your marriage. Don't get me wrong, emotions are not all bad and within the right context and setting they are very desirable. Our emotions are part of who we are as humans, but negative reactions and destructive emotional outburst will end your marriage sooner than anything else will.

If your spouse wants out of the marriage and you don't, they may try to push your "buttons" to draw out a negative emotional response from you in order to justify their position. You must resist the temptation to react with hurtful words and deeds, even if your spouse is doing that very same thing to you. I know this is hard to do - but no one said it would be easy. Avoid the tit for tat, "I must get the last hurtful word in" attitude. The Bible says a "kind word" or "a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." That statement is so true when you are engaged in communication with your spouse about saving your marriage. This leads me to the next critical step.

2). You Must Continue To Communicate With Your Spouse.

Let's face it, marriage is like building a house, it is hard work and takes time, but if you do not have the blue print or the plans for the house, and everyone is doing his or her own thing, then sooner or later you will end up with a pile of rubble not a house. The blue print or plan is your ability to communicate to your spouse and with each other. Even if your spouse does not want to communicate as much as you, you should still leave the channels of communication open for them.

The worst thing you can do is say, "Well he or she isn't talking, so neither am I!" This is a sure way to end you marriage. I am not talking about talking your spouse's ears off as that can have a negative impact, but rather open up and express your thoughts and concerns in a positive and non-combative way. The marriage will never heal if both parties shut down and stop taking to each other, so start talking now. You can start with small talk, and build from there.

3). Don't Grovel or Beg Your Spouse to Stay if they Insist on Leaving.

This is another big mistake individuals make when trying to save their marriage. Crying, groveling, and begging your spouse to stay can be very unattractive to anyone. You can expect only two outcomes as a result of begging your spouse to stay. 1) Your spouse might be more turned off and say, "That is the very reason I am leaving, you are just too needy and pathetic!" Ouch! 2) Or they may stay a while longer because they feel sorry for you, but how long will that last? Your spouse having pity on you, is not a good foundation on which to attempt to build a solid marriage. So in both cases, you will lose.

Remain humble, but also stay strong. Your spouse will be attracted to your strength and admire your humility.

If your spouse is adamant about leaving, don't beg them on your knees to stay. Sometimes, it is best to have some time apart so they can re-evaluate their motives for leaving. Allow time to pass, this can have a positive impact on saving your marriage.

4). Do not Tell Everyone About the Problems in Your Marriage...

...especially either side of the family, in-laws, and friends. Sure, you may have a mentor or a neutral party that you can talk with as this will be very important for your sanity, but avoid divulging marital issues to friends and family. This can lead to more pressure being placed on your spouse and on the marriage and can also lead your spouse to say, "Well everyone knows what is going on, so I might as well follow through with my decision to leave."

Pay Close Attention Here-

Now listen carefully! Take 2 minutes to read the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick that will make your spouse love you for the rest of their lives even if they are this close to walking out the door. There is a set of easy to follow psychological tricks which will save your marriage and get you back to that place you once were - in love, committed, and excited about the future - within a few days guaranteed. I strongly urge you to read everything on the next page before it's too late and time runs out- Click Here

Now you can stop your divorce or lover's rejection…even if your situation seems hopeless! There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying… Visit this Helpful Site to find out more.