Since I was little I have always looked at things from the outside, an observer. When my siblings would get in trouble I would take it as a lesson of what not to do. However, I've also always been shy, and protective over my heart, I've never given it away easily. Everyone has their first love at some point though, right? Normally that comes with your first heartbreak too unfortunately. More often than not though, people have some small "relationships" before they have their first real love. When we're young and dumb, this always ends up being the person we believe we will spend the rest of our life with. This is exactly what happened to me too. When I first met him, he was sweet, kind, and never treated me bad. He became my best friend. However, as things progressed, life happened. His home life wasn't great, he had some health problems, he developed some anger issues, and struggled with the "long distance." Before I knew it he gave me a promise ring. When I first took it, I thought OMG YES! As time went on though, I though, what happened, and I grew scared of the future. About half a year passed by and we began to grew apart. Things weren't getting better, and we were always fighting. One day I broke up with him. I was devastated but relieved because I knew that even though it hurt now but things were going to get better. A few months passed and I was still hurting, I did stupid things to try and feel better but nothing was working. So what did I do? I reached out and before I knew it we were back together. Things were slightly different but I felt happy. Come to find out it wasn't the same for him though. New Years Eve, we talked about everything, and what all we wanted to do in the next year. The next day told me something different though... we broke up. It was odd, how he changed his mind that fast, literally within a few hours. How do you go from loving someone, and wanting to spend years together, then not want anything to do with them? Later I found out, he changed his mind quicker than I thought. He went to lunch with one of his friends and heard all about how his friend loved seeing his girlfriend everyday. That was the moment he decided that he wanted to have someone else. He didn't want me anymore. It was odd, not knowing how someone could change their mind about you that fast. I still loved him. How do you not love someone that you spent nearly a year with? It's hard not to, I'll tell you that. For a while you're numb, but time goes by and you learn to be okay, and start to love yourself again. You move on, and you find someone else. First loves are the one of the hardest ones to go through. You never truly forget your first love. They're apart of who you are.