My bestie, my partner in crime, my sister from another mister, the other pea in my pod

Dearest Rach

I wanted you to know I look at my tattoo every day and think of you, although you are on the other side of the world now I know you are always there for me and when I look at the heart on my finger, I smile where ever I am and my heart swells with love.

I went along with the matching tattoos idea because I knew how much it meant to you but I remember on the day of the tattoo I didn’t want to do it, I almost felt bullied into it. I had no idea how a bit of ink on my skin would bring so much meaning to me. You knew though, as ‘our’ tattoo was number 9 for you, but I was a tattoo virgin. Now, I love it and I love that it connects us forever.

My bestie, my partner in crime, my sister from another mister, the other pea in my pod. I miss you so much, but life has separated us several times throughout our 30-year friendship and I know we will be together again one day.

I remember when we first met, we had to write to each other to keep in touch. In the times when we were travelling, both on our overseas adventures but separately, we would write letters or send postcards, care of our parents addresses, hoping that someday they would be received. We had no email addresses, no Facebook, no WhatsApp and no free video calls, but we managed to stay connected.

I am so grateful we have video chat now but it will never be the same as sitting with you in person. The beautiful thing about our friendship is our shared history; same places, same people, and the stories we share and reminisce about and laugh our heads off at. You are one of those people that makes my belly ache and jaw hurt from laughing so much. Everything I do with you is fun, even the tough stuff is easier when I go through it with you. Everyone loves you but I am your best friend and that makes me feel so blessed.

Do you remember when we realised we were both living in Wellington at the same time after I received a forwarded letter that you had sent to my parents in the UK. I had been writing to you via your parents in Australia. The last I had heard you were travelling through India and I had just spent several months in Asia. You had no idea I had moved to New Zealand as my letter hadn’t got to you yet. At that time, it was like a gift from God, we needed each other so much and we believed the universe had conspired to bring us together again – it was so unplanned but so perfect. We got to live out the rest of our 20s as partners in crime and what fun we had. Remember we did almost everything together in those years, I will always cherish that time the most.

You have given me some of the happiest memories of my life and I am so grateful for that. Some of the hardest and saddest times of my life have also centred around you. Tears still come to my eyes when I think about leaving you at the airport that one time, you know when. My heart literally broke because we didn’t know when we would see each other again but our lives had changed as we moved into our 30s. I also remember the time when I called you to say I was coming back to New Zealand after being away several years, when I said I was coming home it surprised you but in that moment you was the only place that felt like home to me. I was so lost and can never thank you enough for supporting me then. I also vividly recall the time when you called me to say you had broken your back – I told you I would drop everything to be there for you. Through good times and bad, through thick and thin, our friendship strengthened.

I love that you will be tough on me when it is needed too. When someone needs to point out that I need a kick up the ass, you will say it. I will get annoyed at the time, but you are always right. You will also tell me the truth even if it hurts, like saying my new haircut makes me look like a boy, rather than say "yes it looks lovely" like everyone else. I value that honesty.

We are like two peas in a pod and I love it that I can randomly message you something out of the blue and you get it, no-one else would get it, but we have this deep understanding of each other which is a rare find. I also love that we can’t remember who the bad influence is anymore, we just bring it out in each other and equally own it.

Our 40s have separated us again and this time we really don’t know how long it will be until we see each other again but we will both be in our 50s by the next time. I think we need to plan a trip and meet somewhere in the middle – maybe New York, maybe Mexico?

I hope we continue to meet in person at least every decade of our lives and when we are old, we will come together again. I can picture us sitting in our rocking chairs together reminiscing on old times and plotting what mischief to get up to next.

Rach, my beautiful friend, just in case I don’t say it enough, I love you. I am going to post this letter, to commemorate old traditions, and because I know how much you like receiving mail.

Till the next time, Avril x