Moving is NOT for OLD People - 5 Tips to Keep You Sane if You Must Move After the Age of 65

My next move is to the cemetery. I swear to God, I will never do this again. Aside from the death of a loved one, I cannot imagine anything more stressful than moving at the age of 73, with only friends to help who are in the same deteriorating physical condition as me.

“One box at a time, Joan,” said my friend, Rita, when I asked her how she packed up her house to move to a new one after her husband died. “One box at a time.”

Saying that to a person whose garage and office looked like this (see below) is a bit on the optimistic side.

But the decision had been made. Six years of lonely widowhood, two years of life-threatening illnesses, 18 months of Pandemic isolation, and three years of not having seen my family, including six rapidly growing great-nieces and nephews sealed the deal.

My condo lease was up and I was moving halfway across the country from sunny Florida to ice-capped Chicago to live with my sister and family for a year. My mental and emotional health depended on it, and an Independent Living Community Villa would be waiting for me when I returned to Florida.

But how was a 73-year-old woman with precarious health, limited strength, almost non-existent stamina, and a woeful bank account supposed to wade through a hoarder’s nightmare to pack?

“One box at a time, Joan.” Rita’s words came back to haunt me.

This life-altering decision was made in the month of April. Let me interject that I was living in a furnished condo, so at least I did not have to deal with storing furniture.

Three months later, in the unbearable heat and humidity of a Florida July, after having shipped four giant boxes of my “stuff” to my sister’s house in Chicago; donating 35 more boxes to charity; throwing out countless amounts more of “stuff”; and hiring movers to move 65 packed boxes, two TV’s, two lounge chairs, and my sanity, into a storage unit packed to the ceiling and side to side, I was off to Chicago with barely an ounce of strength left in my body.

IF for some unimaginable reason, you find yourself having to move after the age of 65, I am imparting a bit of my wisdom to save you from the stress I experienced. Here are my five top tips for moving after the age of 65:

1.DON’T DO IT. Die in place. You’ll save yourself a lot of aggravation and stress if you stay put and let your relatives deal with your “stuff” after you’re dead.

2.BE VERY WEALTHY. Contrary to what you have heard, money DOES buy happiness. If happiness means not having to lift a finger and hire a crew to do the sorting, packing, lifting and moving, money buys it. Having unlimited money will allow you to point your expensively manicured nail to what you want to be moved and where, while someone you’ve paid does the work.

3.To be serious, MAKE LISTS AND PILES. I cannot overstress the importance of lists and piles to keep you focused and on task:

· Trash — If it’s broken, out-of-date (technology equipment), too dirty to clean, GET RID OF IT.

· Donations — If it’s in working condition, up-to-date, washable, but you haven’t used it in the years you have lived in your current location, while it has gathered dust in the basement or garage — SOMEONE ELSE can use it. Donate it. Most charitable organizations come to the house to pick up.

· Sell — Call reputable dealers for the items you think can be sold, but don’t hold your breath for a windfall. There was no market for any of my stuff. Not my doll collection, not my husband’s Hess Truck collection (Some Hess trucks are worth a decent amount, just not the ones I had.), not my 100-year-old record collection, not my ANYTHING.

· Accept Free Help. IF you are lucky enough to have children or grandchildren who are willing to help, I would advise taking advantage of their help with two warnings:

The first is that it will be on THEIR timetable. They are busy with jobs and kids’ activities. If they volunteer to help, you will have to be ready when they are.

The second is that they are going to be “trashers”. They are not attached to your “stuff” like you are, and they don’t want any of it when you are dead. Haven’t you heard of the Millennial “minimalist” movement? While you are wringing your hands over your grandmother’s teacup collection, they are going to throw it into the trash.

· Storage/Move — And finally, after you have trashed, donated, and possibly sold everything on each of those lists, and in each of those piles, you are ready to pack up the rest to put into storage or give to the movers to take to your new abode.

4. HIRE THE BEST — Pay attention to recommendations on sites like Nextdoor.com. Check the Better Business Bureau rating of the moving company you are considering hiring. Even if it’s more expensive, hiring competent, highly recommended movers is non-negotiable. Even if you have to max out your credit card to do it. Up until last year’s move into a storage unit, I had never moved without ending up on moving day, sitting on the floor crying. My experience was that the movers I hired violated all the rules about which we are warned:

Packed haphazardly and sloppily if I needed last-minute packing.

Charged more than the agreed-upon price.

Took longer than the agreed-upon time.

Were careless with my belongings.

The company of movers I hired this time was the most careful, dependable, helpful, honest, moving company I have ever dealt with and the only ones that didn’t leave me in tears.

5. DON’T UNPACK BY YOURSELF — Don’t even think about it. Old backs, legs, and arms were not made to bend, lift, stretch, climb to reach shelves, or put items away.

I found this out the hard way. There I was, in a living room/dining room filled with boxes, my new mattress yet to be delivered ( Remember, my condo was furnished. I had to buy furniture for the new place), no lamps because I had forgotten to buy any, no car (a story for another time), overwhelmed, exhausted, stressed, confused, and faced with the task of emptying and putting away items from 65 boxes.

Not gonna happen with this old lady. And I don’t want it to happen to you. Hire someone to do the unpacking. If you can’t afford it, recruit friends and relatives.

Take it from one who knows- you’ll die before you have the chance to enjoy your new place if you try to unpack and put everything away yourself.

So there you have it. My helpful tips on how to stay sane and alive if you must move when you are OLD.

NEXT: Do you like the FREE DELIVERY furniture advertised on television? Do you think it comes to the door all put together so you can sit on it or use it right away? HAH! Stay tuned for my next story about putting together furniture that comes in 100 pieces.

Originally published in the Medium Publication, Crow's Feet.

© Copyright 2022 Joan Gershman