Me, myself and I

frankly, if each one of us thought about it, we don't know ourselves that much.

what are you? are you the name your parents gave you without much thinking? or do the hobbies you practice and the interests you have define who you are? are those really yours and you didn't gain them from a family member or a friend? do the experiences you have make you?

the answer is all of the above and other things i forgot to mention, yes there are a lot of things that makes you you. you are an amazing mixture between every story you heard or lived. you are a complicated form of experiences, emotions and different situations you have been thru.

in my opinion, i have three characters of me inside that small body, i like to give them nicknames and talk about them!

i am not sure how did those characters develop, maybe the complicated life i had or the hardships i have been thru, can also be the variety of people i met in my 19 years, i don't know but they are here now so let me introduce you to each other!

Me is the good character among them, the angle, she is always kind and heartwarming to deal with, always there to help no matter what, apologizing all the time for every little mistake sometimes even if she didn't make one but felt like she did, easy to fool and falls in love like it's a sport, do you think someone like that will survive in our awesome world? where nobody gives a shit about how kind you are and use you as much as they can? i don't think so.

Myself is the complete opposite of me, it isn't evil as much as it is genuine, like if you treated me in a bad way i will do the same without caring about your emotions because you didn't care about mine, if i heard a tone that didn't come to my likings it won't be a good day for you, she's always there to fight and defend against anybody and everybody, tell me, will you be happy if you had a friend who remembers every mistake you did and thinks that you are using them? will that be a good way to treat friends and family? will anybody be able to live everyday like he is in a war and anybody can be their enemy?

I am the balance between these two, i am able to forgive but i will never forget, i will love but as soon as i relies that the one i loved wasn't a good person for me or thinks that love will make me weak, I’ll leave to find a better person for me, have a lot of hobbies but lack consistency.

i studied about something similar in psychology called the ego, the super ego and the id, the three elements of personality by Sigmund Freud, it is not the same but it is close, he said that the three elements work together to form different human behaviors.

you know, some might think that might be good, but i reached a level when i am not certain about who i am, am i a good person or a bad person? maybe it is the question we always ask but will never be sure of an answer to it, i personally think that people aren't black and white but mostly grey with shades, i just hope that my shade has some lightning in it.

Thanks for your time!

it been a pleasure writing to you💜