Married by September 2021, Entry #3

February 18, 2021

It has been a while since I've updated you all on my journey and the past few weeks have been a true rollercoaster of emotions! I'm only 215 days away from my wedding and I still have no clue who the groom will be.

Valentine's Day just passed and it was rough. Instead of confirmation that I and one of my three suitors were on the path toward love and marriage, I got an unexpected reality check. Not one of them thought enough of me to even send me a card, let alone flowers, candy or a stuffed animal. The harshest pill to swallow was from the one suitor, Josh, who was my favorite until February 14th.

Josh and I had met just after Thanksgiving last year. We'd met serendipitously in the Atlanta airport. I had a relatively long layover on my way home to Los Angeles. I decided to pass time in one of the airline lounges. As I sipped tea and watched the planes, I drifted off into a daydream when a gentleman interrupted, "Good afternoon, young lady. Is this seat available?" as he gestured toward the lounge chair across from me. I looked up into these brown smiling eyes. For a split second, I thought I was still daydreaming. He was gorgeous.

"No. Please, feel free," I replied.

He sat. We exchanged a few pleasantries. Then, he commenced to reading a newspaper. It felt like an eternity before he spoke another word to me. Well, it was likely only about 10 or 15 minutes, but it was long enough for me to give up hope that this would be a connection until he got up and offered to refill my tea while he got a cup of his own.

"Yes, please. Thank you so much for offering," I said as I blushed.

As soon as he walked away toward the beverage bar, I whipped out my cell phone to freshen up my lip gloss in the camera. A girl must always be prepared for an opportunity and Mr. Opportunity would be back with a cup of tea in a few minutes. As I slipped my gloss back into my bag, he reappeared with two cups of tea, one of which he sat in front of me before returning to his seat across from me.

"Thank you," I say with a sultry but shy grin. This is my opening and I decided to take advantage of it. "Are you always so kind to strangers?"

"I am. I think of myself as a man of kindness and love. I teach it to others so it's only right that I walk the walk too." He went on for another half hour straight telling me about his ministry and his work in marriage counseling. It took about 5 minutes to recognize that he was a man who loved to talk about himself. I do love a confident man, but Josh was definitely a bit cocky for my taste. Despite his cockiness, there was a sincerity about him that kept me engaged.

Even though there were more than a couple of red flags (he had recently divorced his third wife and had given himself several compliments during our conversation), I made no hesitation to give him my number when he asked.

Over the following few months, we talked almost every day, sometimes for hours. We only saw each other in person once after we met. He lived in Charlotte, NC and I lived 3,000 miles away in Los Angeles. In January, we decided to meet in Atlanta for an official first date. We clearly liked each other. We enjoyed talking to one another. We were attracted to one another. We had an appropriate amount of chemistry that didn't cross over into lust. (Keep in mind that I'm celibate.)

After the standard 90-day trial period, it seemed like we were headed in the direction of a relationship. On February 14th, I realized I was under the wrong impression. Nothing major happened. In fact, nothing happened at all. That was the problem. Not even a phone call from him. Just radio silence. I know what you're thinking, "Did you try to call him?" Yes I did! He did not answer. Now, four days later, he still has not called.

I totally get that ghosting is a thing in this digital age but I am so confused and utterly shocked that he would invest so much time and energy for over three months, only to just disappear without a trace or explanation.

I admit that I was hurt for a half day but I got over it. Such is life, right? There is a silver lining: I know for certain that this guy won't be the man standing at the end of the aisle on my wedding day in 215 days. The search continues...