Manipulative People and Personalities
Why Manipulators Win
People with personality disorders such as narcissism are manipulative. It is the nature of the beast they deal with. Very often, narcissists will not go to therapy until their whole veneer collapses when their life turns into shambles before their very eyes. Sociopaths can only keep a front so long, and narcissistic people have a sense of entitlement about everything. Manipulators found in the book, In Sheep’s Clothing. Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People, by George Simon Jr. have major problems in the following areas, “1. When fighting is fair and necessary. 2. Allowing themselves to concede since they do anything to win. 3. They learn to fight underhanded, in a secretive manner. 4. They cannot tolerate submitting to authority. 5. They feel entitled to anything and everything. 6. They have disdain for weakness in other people and have not learned much about empathy” (53-54).
Manipulative people cannot take responsibility for their own actions. Very often they blame the other person for what they do. (Source) For manipulators, all situations are about them. Manipulative people do not understand boundaries either for all your wisdom telling them no, you can’t stay the night. You feel depleted and weakened around such a person because they feed off of you in more ways than one. This sort of person likes bleeding people who care about them.
Manipulators consistently do not take responsibility for their actions and only make you the one responsible for yours. Manipulative people do not actually care about you, they care only about number one, them. To spot a manipulative person, see how they talk about other people behind their backs. Some of them say things about the person they are speaking with, negative things. Manipulators love triangulation or creating havoc between people.
Don’t waste your time being busy trying to be who you are around a manipulator.
It is better to give manipulative people the boot. Words are one thing, actions speak louder than words and are another thing. It is necessary to look at what you believe every so often so you are not prey to manipulators. Manipulative people are masters of the art of deception. Confront one and they will back down. It is always your fault, not the other way around. Staying on medication makes narcissistic empaths less likely to hurt somebody but the second they stop taking their medication, look out.
Some bad friends make you feel like you’re the wrong one. This is because manipulators as explained above, cannot take responsibility for their own behavior. Manipulative people do what they want despite asking their friends for help. They perpetually do what they want despite being told otherwise. Giving advice to someone like this can be a pointless waste of time. Manipulative people see their negative behavior as your only option. Manipulators also change the subject often to their own needs. Manipulators do not allow the people they deal with to call them out as they can say “I never said that.” They take full advantage of this.
Manipulators love inducing guilt in people, as well as making their victims put them first in their lives. Manipulators go way overboard with snide remarks, insults, and jokes. Somebody like this will say negative things about other people or make jokes at the victim’s expense. Bullying is another major and childish behavior that manipulators pull at the expense of their victims. Such manipulators are self-conscious, having low self-esteem and being unable to trust others, so they still hurt people around them deliberately.
Manipulators make a big deal out of minor things too. They do not show empathy to people who have spent their time helping them. Some do not admit they are wrong, making their actions sound reasonable. Manipulators have no ethical values, winding up pointing the finger at somebody else. Manipulators have problems dealing with people in an honest way. They manipulate as a way of life. So you see, they manage to hook people around their little finger, never letting go. They love manipulating. It is their way, there is no changing them, except to avoid them, dump them, and make sure that they are no longer in your life.
Simon Jr., George In Sheep’s Clothing. Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People. 1996. Parkhurst Brothers Inc.