Managing a Long Distance Relationship
Advice on How to Make the Best of Your Long Distance Relationship
I used to be the girl who thought long-distance relationships were pointless, until it became my situation. I had been in one before during college, but it was much different than the one I am in now. I didn't understand why people wanted to do that to themselves. Why be in a relationship if you can't physically BE with the person? I had ended a relationship because we would be in completely different states. The reason I find myself in one now is because I finally met someone who is worth it and I know that it is only temporary. That is the key. Finding someone who is worth it and willing to stick it out with you.
The thing with long-distance is that it is typically only a temporary situation. For me, I started dating someone and knew he was the one I wanted to be with long-term. Shortly after, he received a job offer across the country. Of course, I was happy for him and only wanted the best, however, this would mean that we would be apart until I could move in with him, which isn't possible at this point in time. Money is tight and I'm waiting for my apartment lease to be up before we can move in together.
So, how does my relationship work with my boyfriend living on the other side of the country? First off, every relationship is different and different things work for different people. The beginning was a test for us to see what worked, what didn't, and what we needed more or less of. Know that you are growing together and it will not be perfect right away. The most important thing to remember is communication. That is the most important thing above anything else. If you don't have strong communication, it will be difficult to keep up with each other's lives and be on the same page with things. Too much communication can be bad because you'll run out of things to talk about and constantly be on your phone. However, technology has made it ten times easier to keep in contact and allows us to connect with each other every day!
You need to establish your expectations as soon as you can. One thing I wanted was to set aside a little bit of time each day to talk on the phone. You don't need to schedule an exact time to talk, unless that's what works for you. My boyfriend and I talk around the same time every day because it's easier with our time zone difference.
Aside from communicating, I believe it is important to know what your top love languages are as well as your partners. If they like gifts, send them something in the mail occasionally. If they enjoy words of affirmation, remind them of how much they mean to you by sending them a letter. Let your partner know what you like. They will appreciate it!
It truly is whatever works best for your relationship. There are ways to work around it, especially if you can make visits or vice versa. I was able to make my first visit out to see my boyfriend by using previous sky miles I had saved up over the years, so I didn't have to pay for it. Unfortunately, I had to put the next trip on my credit card, but if you can save up for a little trip to see themm then go for it!
If your long-distance relationship is only temporary, just know that you will be with your partner before you know it! In the meantime, keep discussing your plans together. Second, the most important thing I forgot to mention is to STAY POSITIVE! It really helps!