Making An Impact On Ourselves and Others

Most people, when they turn to a life coach, or even a therapist or counselor, are trying to create a positive impact on their current quality of life. Most people will just say “I want to be happy.”

Happiness, and what it looks like, will differ from person to person. For some people happiness might be wealth, a strong, loving relationship, having lots of friends, having a job they really enjoy doing and can’t wait to get back to work, and so on.

So, as you can see, simply saying “I want to be happy” is not a good starting ground. First, we need to establish what “being happy” looks like for each individual.

However, improving the current quality of life doesn’t have to mean only being happy. Maybe someone is feeling happy but wants to improve certain aspects of life in the present in order to continue to grow as a person or to reach new goals.

If you’re wanting to make changes for yourself or help someone else make changes, it is important to know that in order for us to make any changes our desire for that change needs to be greater than the desire to stay the same. Without this greater desire to change than the desire to stay the same, change will not come and stay in the long run.

So, if you yourself want to make some changes or you have someone you want to help with making changes, first make sure that the desire to change is greater than the desire to stay the same for yourself or the person you are helping.

So the question I am sure you may be asking after that statement is “Ok, well how do I know when a person will be in a place where their desire to change is greater than their desire to stay the same?”

In order for us to get that desire to change we need to have a vision in our minds of our future, that is greater than where we are presently at.

When a person can envision their lives in the future being in a better place than where they are at the present, not just fantasizing about a better future, but actually seeing themselves in that future, their desire to change will become greater than their desire to stay the same. This is when change can become possible.

It’s also worth noting that for a long-term, sustainable change, the impact can’t be 100% on ourselves. We need to be able to see the positive impact we are having on others due to the changes we are making in order to make those changes sustainable in the long term and permanent.

If you’re trying to help out someone else, remember that if we can’t follow the same principles and guidelines ourselves, we cannot help someone else properly. The principles and guidelines we give to others are the same principles that we should be following ourselves.

In order for us to help other people, the other person needs to have a vision in mind that goes beyond just helping themselves. If their vision doesn’t include having an impact on more than just them, then there is nothing that can be done to help that person.

Often times we see the impact we are having on other people and that helps to propel us further. If we are having positive impacts on the people around us with what we are doing, we will continue to do it. If the impacts are negative, and we care enough to change, we will start to look at what we need to change and how we need to do it in order to start having a more positive impact on those around us.

Goal setting is good, it helps us to know when we have reached certain points in what it is we want to work on. This isn’t enough though. We need to fully visualize what reaching our goal is going to look like. Not only visualize how we will feel, what we will be able to do, but also visualize what you imagine those around you will feel and how their lives will somehow be better or more positively impacted by you.

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This post was originally posted on my Medium Blog, Making An Impact On Ourselves and Others, my Medium Profile direct link.