Make Your Long Distance Relationship a Success
Being smart with your heart
Meeting someone who lives overseas wasn’t something that either of us expected. Both of us wanted to find our last love, and we also knew we wouldn’t settle just so we wouldn’t have to be alone. I made my desire known to the universe and took action. I was extremely determined, and at 55 years old, I knew I couldn’t wait much longer. It takes patience and trust when two people have an ocean between them. At first we didn’t spend too much time thinking about the logistics of how this would work; only that we wanted to spend as much time together as possible. We both agreed that love was more important than how far apart we were, and so we allowed our hearts to rule our heads. Not a bad thing in my opinion. Love comes first, and everything else will eventually fall into place.
During our first year we visited with each other; back and forth from the US to the UK. The visits became longer and more frequent. It was difficult and work inevitably got in our way. I left my job just after a few months, because it didn’t allow for more than two weeks off during the course of one year. My partner had more time off, so we spent money on airline tickets given her availability was better than mine. Looking back, we both would have waited a bit longer, and given it more thought instead of being so impulsive. So, learn from our experience.
Make sure you are financially able to sustain yourselves for an extended period. Remember, if you are in your parter’s country you can only stay for a limited amount of time. Airline tickets can be expensive, and you’ll need an income to travel back and forth.
While the two of you are separated, it is extremely important to communicate, and be open with your thoughts and feelings. We used WhatsApp, and we spoke multiple times daily. I cannot stress enough how important trust is.
Remain present, and be present while you are apart. Wishing you were with your partner is natural, but by no means should you get carried away, and begin to live virtually through your love. Trust your partner. If you cannot, then worrying about what he or she is doing while you’re away will make you miserable. Learn to focus on your ultimate goal of being together permanently, and allow that to be your beacon.
We were constantly searching for a way that would allow us to remain together while earning an income. Neither of us were allowed to work in the other’s country. We needed something that we could do from home that was our own business. I had already left my job, and was working as an independent sales contractor doing anything I could find. It was becoming more and more difficult to meet my expenses as a majority of my income was being spent on airline tickets. My partner had a very good steady job, but her time off was limited, and at times we would go for 10-11 weeks without seeing one another. Each time we were together we wondered how we would be able to see each other again, and where the money would come from. Parting at the airport was, and is, horrific, and such an extremely difficult thing to do.
Enjoy one another’s company and be grateful for the time you have. It may seem obvious, but sometimes we don’t pay enough attention to each other. Because there were long periods of separation between us, we were next to each other 24 hours of every day we were together. Everyone needs their own space, so be sure to allow your partner his or her time. You’ll both be better for it.
We are still waiting for permanent residency in each other’s country. My partner went back to school, and became credentialed in foot health. We opened our own mobile practice, and are on our way to financial stability. Until then, we’ll do what we always do, and continue to update our story.
If your love is true then your long distance relationship will soon turn into one without distance. Be patient, loving, and honest, and always communicate your feelings. Legal formalities can take a long time, but if you continue to persist, you will eventually be together under the same roof for as long as you both shall live. If you like... 😊